Liveblogging the FA Cup Final

Good morning gang! I just found out that the FA Cup final would be on Fox Soccer Channel this morning and decided to stay home and do one last liveblog.

Yawn…

Need food, be right back.

0640 Need any motivation to root for Everton? How about this, if Chelsea win today not only will they get to claim a trophy this year (their first in two years) but A. Cole will join only a handful of players to have won 5 FA Cups in their career.  3 came while at Arsenal and Abramovich bought Chelsea one FA Cup a few years ago, so that’s his four. WE CANNOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

0650 Joey Barton has revealed his desire to stay at Newcastle. There is no mention of the fact that no one else wants him.

0700 Howard “f*cking” Webb is reffing the match, this will end well *eye roll*

1′ — YEEEEEEESSSSS!! A dream start, as Louis Saha puts in a wonderful goal off a Fellaini header. Amazing.

2′ — Chelsea are stunned, they can feel their last chance of ever getting any silverware slipping through their fingers.

6′ — Cheech is all the way out the half way line and heads the ball back into play. I’d rather Everton not try to sit back and defend this deep.

8′ — First terrible Webb decision as he hands Hibbert a yellow for his accidental clash of legs.  Foul, yes, yellow, my ass.

15′ — Damn wordpress RSS feed isn’t loading again…

16′ — Hi Matt! Nice to have someone here! Nice turn by Peener draws a foul from Bosingwa.

In the leadup to this match I was thinking that this was potentially a test of the two coach of the year candidates. I know everyone is impressed with Guus but I’ve actually wondered about some of his tactics. Like the Barca game, I thought he had those tactics dead wrong. Sitting back against Barca was a big mistake.

21′ — How much can a bad reffing decision change a game? Hibbert’s BS yellow earlier led to him sitting off his marker, which gives him space and time to put in that cross that Dogbag easily puts in the net.

26′ — Essien gets away with a red card, over the top of the ball, challenge on Fellaini. Second horrible decision from Webb.

31′ — It’s actually really frustrating how few stats are available to the public. There are stats we could use, like time spent running, walking, jogging, miles covered, etc. but all that stuff is closely guarded and you have to pay to get it. Imagine if you were never told how many points a player scored in basketball? It’s roughly the equivalent.

37′ — Yawn… both teams are trading jabs but no knockout punch, yet.

40′ — 80 minutes into the blog and it’s now starting to propagate in my RSS feeds. I wonder if Moyes will change Dr. Hibbert in the second half? That yellow card has really limited his ability to defend Malouda and the Flourent one is abusing the left side in this match.

42′ — DOWN GOES DROGBA!

45′ — I must be wrong about Hibbert, since the announcers have said pretty much the same thing I just said. Free kick at the death…

Cheech fumbles the ball and Everton get a corner… they are good at set plays…

End of First Half

Neither team looks like they want to extend themselves too much, though Chelsea is attacking more, it’s still very calm, almost Arsenal like in their build-up and final ball.

LOL, thanks for the link Matt, you know what’s even funnier than Hleb asking to be traded? He was the only player draped in a Barca flag during the award ceremony on Wed.

Hey Hleb, Al-Ahli in the UAE Football league needs a wing player!

Halftime nearly over

I must admit that I miss the Beyonce commercials. Yes they ran 50 times during the break, but they were catchier than the crap they are pushing on us now.

Hibbert out, Jacobson in, well played by Moyes. He’s too ruthless to let Hibbert lump around on the pitch like he did in the first half, the exact opposite of Wenger.

47′ — Howard Webb (3rd terrible call) gives Neville a yellow for half the tackle that Essien put in in the first half. Also, being on the receiving end of a tackle is the first meaningful action from Obi-Wan Michael.

50′ — Frank Lampard puts in a two footed tackle from behind on Neville and Howard Webb sees nothing wrong with it. No call, no card, nothing.

I think it’s pretty clear that Howard Webb is the worst ref in the league.

55′ — Yeah, the RSS feed is being really strange. It’s showing in Gooner News, my Facebook, and your comments are showing in Reader, but the main thread isn’t.

Basically, this is what happened yesterday.

60′ — WOW… Essien subbed, bad move by Guus, in my book. Essien has way more talent than Obi.

65′ — Remember Hibbert’s Yellow card tackle earlier in the game? Ballsack gives Peener a flat tire and barely draws the foul…

73′ — damn, it looked like it was coming, too bad the world’s worst human being had to hit the goal.

78′ — The fix is in, Howard Webb is calling pretty much everything against Everton. It’s hard to win when you’re playing 12 on 11.

81′ — Oh man, how poetic would it be to have Chelsea and Webb robbed of their trophy? That ball was clearly over the line.

86′ — Lamps makes a meal of a Peener challenge and Howard Webb gives him a yellow. Strange decision from Webb, since that was his chance to ensure the Chelsea trophy.

88′ — Everton look dead. A. Cole is declared “Man of the Match.” I think I’m going to be sick.

92′ — Everton need some luck now.

Game Over

Oh well, can’t win ’em all. Three coaches, £100m in transfers in, probably £300m in salaries, 2 years, and 1 trophy.

CONGRATULATIONS CUNTS!