Managerial super Tuesday

I also won the Charity Shield; NEVER FORGET!

All the world’s top managers (plus David Moyes, Mark Hughes, and Sam Allardyce) have made it into the press this morning highlighting the dearth of player signings ahead of Euro 2008.

Of course, by now you know that Jose Mourinho was appointed manager of Inter, but did you know that he no longer wants to be called ‘The Special One?’ When asked if he was still lo especiale he bellowed “I AM MOURINHO BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!” Good to have him back.

Sir Alex Ferguson, not to be outdone by Jose and desperate to remind the world that he’s the only special one, has announced that he’ll be retiring in 2010. Great, now my news reader is going to be overflowing with speculation about who (Keane) will be taking over for SAF (Keane) when (if) he does actually retire (Keane).

Meanwhile Mark Hughes is giving Chelsea 48 hours to make him an offer or he’ll have to go to Manchester City for his inevitable early termination. It would be funny, a man of Hughes’ talent issuing threats to Chelsea, if it weren’t so scary. The thought of Chelsea’s thugs being managed by a professional thug like Hughes is enough to make me turn in my football fan card.

Hughes’ rumored replacement is none other than the world’s worst manager; Sam Allardyce. Signing Sam Allardyce would finally put the bed the idea that Blackburn is trying to shed the “Rough House Rovers” tag. I guess Rovers will never try to play football and as long as they play “lump and crunch” they’ll always be one of the reasons England don’t have better footballers and can’t qualify for international tournaments.

20 miles south of Blackburn, in the town of Liverpool, David Moyes has finally won his libel lawsuit against Rayne Looney. This is truly a victory of epic proportion. No longer will a footballer be able to turn 20, have someone write an “autobiography” for them, and make spurious claims that the manager caused a “serious breach of trust towards a young player under his management.”

Look, I’m all for any legal or social action that puts Rooney in his place but if getting sent off at the World Cup hasn’t tempered the guy I don’t know how a tiny hit against his huge bank account is going to give him pause.

And finally… That’s it Arsene, you’re fired for not signing anyone when you promised.

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