Knife or death

by imothyt

My Christmas Cactus is blooming. Weird. Schlumbergera that’s the scientific name. I’m not sure why it’s blooming but here we are. It bloomed back in November as well. Maybe it’s just super horny. That’s why plants bloom, right? Because they’re horny?

It’s also foggy out here today. I know these are things that you don’t care about but I’m telling you anyway. Let’s see, what else, what else..

Roy Hodgson is back at Crystal Palace, lol. I guess in a sense it’s a good appointment: he probably doesn’t want a 3 year deal, owning to the fact that he’s 75 or something. I honestly feel a bit bad for him. He loves Palace so he can’t really turn them down in their time of self-inflicted need (they completely donked up the summer and winter transfer windows) but for gods sake, let the man retire!

Another guy who should probably retire is Antonio Conte, for his own sake I mean. For our sake he should stay on forever at Tottenham and keep giving more and more outraged speeches detailing how his team can’t play good football because, itsa the history ofa the Tottenham! I was thinking about his speech though and he really went after the players and how they aren’t giving 100%, aren’t helping each other, and are only playing for themselves and man I feel like he’s going after one or two players in particular. He also went after the players for being happy to just be at Tottenham.

It’s a peculiar rant considering all things. Before Levy took over, Spurs were a mediocre team and now they are a perennial top-four challenger and they’ve built a new stadium. I don’t think that’s mostly down to Levy’s special genius. I do think it’s mostly down to getting a once-in-a-generation striker in Harry Kane. Not that Levy didn’t do anything: he has done well to keep Kane and has put together a team which should finish top four.

But I wonder if Conte’s rant wasn’t about Kane? The idea was immediately dismissed on most of the pods I’ve listened to and for good reason; Kane does seem to work hard for the team, he does drop deep to collect and distributes well for his teammates. I’ve also seen him try to play defense, Bukayo Saka once smoked him in the box to score a goal for Arsenal. Surely, surely, Conte can’t be angry with England’s golden haired god?

But something about the rant made me think he was having a go at the Spurs captain. The complacency thing was it in particular. I’ve said it for a long time, it’s very strange that Kane hasn’t downed tools to force a transfer. I get it, he’s a Spurs supporter through and through. The fans there love him and he probably loves them. But he has to see how guys like Modric, Berbatov, and Sol Campbell all had to leave Spurs to win things? Obviously I’m just an Arsenal supporter who finds the whole thing incredibly funny but man, I wonder.

Anyway, what else is going on. Let’s see, uhh FIFA appointed Infantino again. I won’t say elected because he ran unopposed. And of course he ran unopposed, because he’s just generated the most profits that FIFA have ever made off the world cup in Qatar. And there’s going to be even more profits as they start doing a club world cup, expanding the world cup to more teams, and eventually having the world cup every two years. I honestly won’t be surprised if they jump on the Super League bandwagon. So long as they can get their beaks wet, they really don’t give a shit about anything else.

I’m already burnt out on the number of games that there are in football. 60/70 games a season is just too many. I used to look forward to match day but now I’m like, oh yeah, there’s a match today. And with Arsenal in a title race there’s even more that I “need” to watch, the other Premier League matches matter now. BUT.. with the internationalism break, I also get a break from football. So, that’s good!

What I don’t get are the folks who watch football along with other sports (baseball, basketball, NFL, etc.). I’d say MOST of the people I follow on twitter watch at least one other sport and some folks follow two or three sports. Plus every British person seems to watch all of the tennis, boxing, and formula one as well (literally any sport that has a British person in it). How the fuck do you have time for all that? Baseball is like 3-4 hours a game isn’t it? And they play something like 162 times a year, right? What on earth is your life like?

I, personally, like to do stuff. Like disc golf! Avie and I started playing disc golf and it’s a lot of frustration and a little bit of fun. Disc golf is super weird too. Like why are there so many Nordic people into this sport? I swear that almost every disc manufacturer is in Sweden or Finland! What is going on??? Anyway, we have about 200 disc golf courses in my state and I think I’d like to visit all of them!

I also like reading books (just finished Thud by Terry Pratchett and it’s a fun little book) or taking hikes, or baking bread, I mean there’s probably a million things I’d rather do than watch sports all day every day. But hey, if you’re happy, then don’t let me yuck your yum! I just don’t get it and that’s ok.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great day and enjoy whatever sport you’re watching today! Me? Avie and I are probably going to finish off “Knife or Death” which is the most batshit insane television show in history. It takes guys (and a few gals) who are either open LARPers or people who think they aren’t LARPing but really are, and puts a sword in their hands and has them run through an obstacle course. Every episode is packed with complete loons. There was the guy who spoke with a Scottish brogue (lol, sort of) and wore a kilt. There are guys who come in wearing a Karate gi. The presenters keep changing the rules up, pretty much every episode. One of the presenters literally gets the name of the swords wrong, like every time. Half of the obstacles are blind luck. People are on the verge of dying from a heart attack because the room they host this weird competition in is like 300F in the desert or something. It’s nuts, my dudes. And the prize is $2,000. In this economy? It’s wild. You really need to watch it. It’s on Netflix.

Qq

24 comments

  1. Great points. While mid 2010s Arsenal had a fiercely loyal but declining manager, Spurs have a fiercely loyal world class striker (and Harry Kane).

    Arsenal had players who wanted to leave for trophies like Sanchez, Fabregas and van Persie because their manager didn’t have that extra drive to give them the trophies their talent deserved.

    And now Spurs have managers who leave after two years because their upper management and star players don’t have the structures and drive to complement their trophy winning mentalities.

    North London is a tale of two clubs.

    1. It took Arsenal a complete wipe out of Board of Directors, executive management, Gunnersaurus, Coaching staff, Scouting Staff, Playing Staff to get to this level.

      Doubt Randy Lerner has that same desire to pull that off.

      1. Don’t want to start the Wenger argument again, but the landscape on spending changed. What he saved over many years were blown in a couple of years. It’s hardly fair to judge him on pitch success in that respect.

  2. Football, cricket and snooker. It’s not that much of a commitment. Unless it’s a Test Match, in which case yes, it’s a 5-day commitment. Fortunately most of those seem to take place in the middle of the night, Mountain Time, so I’m only losing sleep.

      1. We used to be called up to play with our marching band at test matches. Really fun as a kid and everything was catered for. Now, test matches are when I can read a book, study or do large amounts of work. It doesn’t need your full focus for the entire 5 days if watching on TV. But in person, it is the perfect cure for any hectic period a person has been having in their professional lives.

        Good time out, always in the summer, peaceful and an easy time out.

        Playing test match cricket on the other hand, the most mentally draining sport I have ever played, especially as a opening batsman who is supposed to build the innings.

        1. My father-in-law used to say that the “test” was as big on the spectators as it was on the players. He used to attend many test matches for the full duration before the rise of ODI and now, T20.

  3. I guess for me, sports are my gateway towards experiencing different cultures and travelling. I love being outside and travelling, so in my youth I took part in football, rugby, cricket, boxing, tennis and MMA. I actually still do all of those to this day.

    I remember my grandmother telling me that I should marry someone who has the same understanding of the word “tired” as I do. I didn’t understand what she was trying to say (sorry can’t reveal what she truly meant, but most of you guys are smart enough to figure that one out), so I naively took it literally and spent all my free time in athletic circles.

    You spend enough time with athletes and you grow an admiration for them, especially if you have also competed in those sports. You know what it takes to reach the levels that they get to, the sacrifices and the pains that they are enduring on a daily basis. The only thing I can compare it to was spending time with people that served in the army, you grow an admiration for their discipline and their focus. I mean, if you are a player from Africa, South America or Asia, playing in the EPL, it will always be difficult for me to ever criticise you, term you as lazy or lacking talent.

    Now, I currently spend my time reporting on the thing that I feel like I can’t live without, sports. I pretend when working because the secret is, my company has no idea that they are paying me for my hobby.

    Funny how it is that two people can have the same opinion on opposite sides of the point. Like you Tim, but also unlike you, I can’t imagine how people live following only one or two sports, let alone none at all. but hey, c’est la vie.

  4. Son-of-1-Nil and myself go to Toronto Blue Jays baseball games a couple of times a season. He used to get totally absorbed – I have no idea why. When he was old enough to sit by himself for a bit, I had to get up and wander around. Nine innings of that s$%t? Plus we had extra inning at 3 or 4 games we attended.

    For those who may not know, MLB has introduced a pitch clock this season. Pitchers will have 15 seconds to throw a pitch with the bases empty and 20 seconds with a runner on base. Hitters will need to be in the batter’s box with eight seconds on the pitch clock.

    If a pitcher has not started “the motion to deliver a pitch” before the expiration of the clock, he will be charged with a ball. If a batter delays entering the box, he will be charged with a strike.

    Apparently, it has cut significant time from games in spring training. From just over an average of 3 hours to around 2 1/2 hours. It won’t help a ridiculous 162-game season, but it may actually make a single game watchable.

  6. Hi guys. Tim if I may, as you like Pratchett as do I. and having read all the discworld books as well as having met the great man himself ( lived in Enfield North London) until his passing. may i reccommend a trilogy of his mostly unknown novels where the central characters are gnomes. Utterly brilliant. Utter genius. 3 book series that are funny, enthralling and let’s you experience the world from the eyes of a gnome.

  8. On the subject of brilliant novels may i suggest the Terry Goodkind series. 6 in total, 1st one is Wizards first rule. Won’t give a spoiler alert but it is fantasy, enthralling, suspence and ultimately abut good vs evil. From chapter 1 I was hooked and would read literally until 3/ 4 am thru the wee hours. Truly brilliant and cannot recommend highly enough. Give em a try Tim et Al I guarantee you won’t be disappointed

  9. Worth reading Barney Ronay’s article on Ozil in the Guardian today. The usual flowery good writing from Barney, and although it focuses a little too much on Ozil’s time at Arsenal, a good analysis.

    What really got me though, was his first two paragraphs on the “Auba Strategy”. I hadn’t put it together, but the last three teams to get rid of Auba are all leading their leagues right now.

  10. Knife or death sounds hilariously amazing!

    Interesting point about other sports and time required to follow. Its one of the reasons I only really follow arsenal, I can’t give any more time to any team in another league beyond a passing interest in checking their league position and occasionally watching a match if its on tv and I have literally nothing else on that day.

    Cricket is totally different beast, particularly test cricket because its entirely possible to be fully engrossed in work / baking bread / hiking / weight lifting etc and yet still be fully engrossed in the match on the radio. To this day my mother will listen to the cricket radio commentary and when she hears a spectacular shot or a wicket being taken she’ll run to the other room where my dad is watching it so she can see it happen!!!!

    1. Cricket listened to on the radio is brilliant. Remember back in the day the legend that was ‘Jonners’ and his side kick commentating on an England match and the Co commentator (who’s name escapes me) came out with the immortal comment ‘Botham just failed to get his leg over’ as Beefy hit his wicket with his leg and Jonners corpsed on radio simply collapsed into a fit of laughter. Truly spontaneous. An all time commentary piece of brilliance

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