I wake five minutes before the alarm. Leave the phone on the bed side and walk into a clean kitchen. The night before I did all the dishes, cleaned the counters, and swept the floors. The kettle boils before I even notice it and I finish six Japanese lessons while sipping the perfectly brewed cup of tea.
I eat three pieces of fresh fruit for breakfast, along with a small cup of non-fat yogurt. And now I turn my attention to the poolish I set out the night before. To it I add just the right amount of water, flour, yeast, and salt, knead it to a smooth ball and set it aside to ferment.
I write for one hour. Words flow from my fingertips like fine gossamer silk. I press publish and before I can even check my social media, the likes come in.
My oven is ready and I put my Banh Mi loaves in so I can get them baking while I get dressed for the dog walk. I wake Avie up and tell him he has to get ready for school. He wakes right up and feeds the cat. “Remember to take the bread out of the oven when the timer goes off!” I holler as I saddle the dog up for her walk.
The morning air is crisp, the sun rises red over my shoulder and Pork Chop and I head off to the park for our hour long walk. She is unusually good today, very little pulling on the line, rarely insisting that she gets to stop to sniff the ground.
We get to the park and stand next to a small river, cascading down rocks, I can feel the cold moist air on my face. In the tree above, a Merlin silently sits on a branch, surveying the forest. I raise the binoculars and snap a photo of the elusive little raptor, his eye in perfect focus.
We pass through the forest and back into the urban landscape. I switch on the Guardian football weekly podcast and they are glowing in their praise for Arsenal’s win this weekend. We might win the League this year, Man City have been banned from Premier League football after an investigation by several reporters revealed that they were cheating by flooding the books with fake sponsors.
When we get home, I hang my hat just right on the hook. The smell of fresh baked bread fills the house. Avie is getting ready for school, and making sandwiches. So I jump in the shower to get cleaned up.
I put on my favorite shirt, it’s crisp and flat because I pressed it last week when it came out of the dryer. I have the perfect pair of shorts and matching socks. My hair brushes into place on the first stroke, my hat fits just right.
The perfect day is in the pipe, ready to get started.
But it has never worked out that way, has it? When we all started the pandemic, I bet you laid in plans for all of the things you were going to do. Read more books, write a book, exercise more, take up yoga, eat healthy, learn how to build scale models, build a canoe in your garage, there was something you wanted to do and you probably didn’t do it. And I bet you might even harbor regrets.
This striving for perfection or even simply glorifying perfection is, in my mind, a huge part of the modern illness. There is no perfection, no matter how much it looks like it on Instagram. There is only something good, something fun, a meal that turned out allright, a smile from a stranger, a moment of brief happiness in an otherwise difficult existence.
Replace all of those “perfect” things above with something simple: finishing a round on the scarf I’m knitting for my mom, remembering to eat more fruit, laughing at a good joke I heard on some new comedy album I found, a spontaneous hug from my son, giving a stranger a hand by paying to print something for them at the library, making a loaf of bread that’s just slightly better than the last one and learning something in the process, hearing a new bird song in the forest – especially if you can’t identify it, showing someone how to use a laser cutter or the sewing machine, coming up with a new project and actually following through with working on it, eating a good sandwich, ordering all of the supplies you need at work, hiring someone, feeling sad when William Shatner expressed his grief at seeing the earth through the window of that Space ship he flew in, his grief that we are fucking the planet up with our greed and hatred, staying sober for one more night, reading a chapter in a book, sleeping with the covers off on one leg and getting just the right temperature.
Thanks, Tim. Right this moment, I am trying to decide between staying at my current job with a hectic schedule and unreal responsibilities or taking up a new challenge with a slightly smaller benefit package but promise of a better work-life balance. I am convincing myself that all the other cool stuff that I’d now be able to do with my free time makes it worth taking a pay cut. But knowing myself, I’d probably just end up being a lazy bum.
We talk about managing our expectations on others (Arsenal). But managing the expectations we place on ourselves is also key. I guess striving for more but being content with what was achieved is the idea.
Peace upon you, my friend. Never stop writing.
Brilliant post Tim. And one I endorse totally. I was searching all my life for fame and fortune. Fortunately I have achieved the latter. Now as my 60th approaches nxt month (gulp) I realise and appreciate the simplier things in life and to add to that I recently took ownership of a 11 month old Datchhound (Chip). At first I didn’t know how to deal with his constant yapping but now merely 3 months later he has become the calming influence in my life. Obedient, loyal, honest and true. He has taught me what patience means. It doesn’t matter if he’s licking or biting at my hand (licking means wee biting means well) even at 12.30 I simply do my duty to him. Your writing is brilliant, your child is a credit and hopefully 1 day chip can meet pork chop (and you and your family of course) keep up the fantastic writing and as a wise man once told me. “If you find yourself walking in hell.. keep walking”
Embracing elements of (secular) Buddhism has done wonders for that feeling of despair. I’d recommend it strongly. Not in any sort of religious way – screw that – but as a way of emptying the mind of all the nonsense the world has filled it up with over years and just observing this one moment and all the perfection contained therein.
Thanks for the inspiration Tim. Your writing transmits a sense of serenity that’s made a rather blah day much more tranquil for me. Birds provides sparks of joy in my life, as they do yours. This morning, I saw a Black Phoebe outside my window. They’re not rare here – they must have a nest nearby. Somehow, though, its appearance made me beam. Like a visit from an old friend, someone saying, “I see you today.” Thanks for reminding me to find joy in the small moments.
That’s a cute bird. We have something similar here with a similar call: Pacific Slope Flycatcher. Their high rising whistle call signals spring for me.
Inspiring and encouraging words are always a welcome treat. Well done, once again.
“I abhor the idea of a perfect world. It would bore me to tears.”
― Shelby Foote
Profound post Tim. I appreciate this….
Nice one, Tim. Wise words, beautifully expressed. Thanks.
I’m always fascinated by breakfast culture in other countries. How is some fruit nourishing in the long term? It doesn’t have protein.
Here, it’s usually bread and cheese for breakfast, it can get dull over time but I can’t seem to think of a suitable alternative…
I love bread and cheese! But bread and cheese (and eggs) is why I have slightly high cholesterol so I need to be eating more fresh fruit and fresh veggies.
For the record, my actual optimum breakfast is non-fat yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit.
As always, great posts from you Tim. I luv’d this post a little more than I do to your other write ups which is certain to be eclipsed by another future post in the pipeline.
It’s tremendous how your day starts and what pork chop is always up to everytime. The little things in life that we take for granted ends up being the blessings we so much search in other places while the truth of the matter is, they’ve always been right there in front of our eyes.
A time like this last year I was jobless and in despair. With a family to provide for I was in deep sh*t. Fast forward to today and I ‘ve changed jobs three times, all the efforts I put in finding a job are bearing fruits and what more can I ask for other than good health, peace of mind and a supportive circle of friends. “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting” – Paulo Coelho.
Thank you for sharing and I’m glad that your life is going well these days.
Thanks Tim. A year ago today Arsenal were languishing in the bottom half of the table. What a turn around of events.
True! Maybe your fortune is connected to Arenal’s, in which case I hope we win the League!
Love it! Although I would suggest considering at least low-fat yogurt. Fat-free, in my book, is an abomination! No one lived 100 years on that.
Does it help that it’s Greek yogurt?
I don’t mind and it’s what they have for sale at Costco.