‘They’ say that “imitation is the greatest form of flattery” and then ‘they’ like to follow that up with “yes, but Arsenal haven’t won anything for 4 years” because, well, because they are cocksandwiches. It seems lately that Arsenal, though, have transcended mere imitation and have become something loftier: Arsenal have become a metaphor.
Last night, Shocker Donuts (mmmm, donuts) won the UEFA Cup and more than one analyst used the term “Arsenal-like” to describe the way they played. He didn’t have to describe the football as beautiful, intricate passing, overlapping movements, pointed attacking, keeping the ball on the ground, and passing to feet. The point is that everyone presumably now knows what “Arsenal-like” means and I think that’s kind of amazing.
At a time when so many Arsenal supporters are reportedly distraught over the lack of silverware, Arsenal have achieved something loftier than mere silverware, we have become a metaphor. No one ever says, oh that club played “Man United-like” because, what would that even mean? Would that mean that the team bought up all the talent in Brazil, spent billions of dollars, and assembled a squad which is so uninspiring in its play that the fans I saw the day they won the league were just like “ho hum, another back-to-back League title.” All 4 fans who came to the pub to watch the match, I mean, because the rest of them were sitting at home checking the score when they bothered to get up, secure in the knowledge that they would win the title even if Arsenal had won.
No. No one describes another team as United-like and that begs the question, how much will Arsenal be remembered for their beautiful football versus a squad like Chelsea, or Liverpool? Yes, Chelsea won back-to-back league titles, but let’s not forget that Roman Abramovich brought Scolari and Deco and Quaresma into the club in order to play more like Arsenal. The problem is that you can’t just plug in a few talented passers on a squad of talentless hacks and suddenly expect to play beautiful football. It takes time to build a squad like Arsenal has done, like Barcelona has done, and like Shaktar Donuts evidently has done.
That said, what I am most worried about is that perhaps we will be remembered for our beautiful football but never go on to win anything, like the Netherlands in 1974 and 1978. Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. I think the parallels are very strong between the Dutch and their Total Football and Arsenal and their Beautiful Football. First, both systems transcended the game and became metaphors for things outside of the game. I was looking through old news reports from the late 1970s and believe it or not “Total Football” even penetrated American culture. That’s powerful stuff. And now, it looks like Arsenal-like is becoming a metaphor as well, how far it will penetrate we don’t know yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see the term used to describe other things; President Obama was “Arsenal-like” in how he deftly handled negotiations with Israel.
There’s only one problem…
The Dutch lost.
Twice.
If the home team hadn’t won both in 1974 and 1978 I think people wouldn’t even remember who they were. Hell, I still doubt most of you know who they are. No cheating, don’t go to Wikipedia. Who won the World Cup in ’74 and ’78? Exactly. That’s a powerful thing and a testament to the football that the Netherlands played during those years.
Unfortunately, Arsenal are following in their footsteps: leapfrogging silverware and becoming metaphors. The one thing that I think would save “Arsenal-like” from being a mere metaphor is if Barcelona beat Man U on Wednesday and do so with aplomb. I see Barcelona as the fulfillment of Arsene’s footballing philosophy; teach people how to actually play the game, keep them together for a few years, add some steel in the middle, and turn them loose to ravage the other team’s women.
Ok, that last part I made up.
The point is that I really want Barcelona to win. Not just to get one of my all-time favorite Arsenal players the Champions League medal he deserves, but because I want to see Arsenal football, at its pinnacle, win something. I want to see Barcelona play “Arsenal-like” and take home the trophy. It won’t just be enough to win and it won’t just be enough to play beautifully; they need to leap up, grab the metaphor by the neck and stuff it into ole big ears.
Anything less and they will just be remembered as another “Arsenal-like” team and the term “Arsenal-like” will be in danger of going the way of “Total Football.” Something that old heads wistfully glace back and and say “on their day, they were the best team I ever saw play, too bad they never won anything.”
Blue Kits
Well, the blue kits have arrived. We already all knew that this is what they were going to look like so what’s the point in complaining? If you don’t like it, don’t buy it. That will send the best message I can imagine to Nike/Arsenal that we are tired of the annual dicking around with the kits. I’m not buying one this year because my feeling is, like White, only c*nts wear Blue.*
*Except France, ALLEZ!
i lik dt
i lik dt
Ha Tim,
Germany and Argentina were the winning finalists. I saw both games live on closed circuit screenings in Jamaica.
Agree 100% with what you are saying Tim, except, Arsenal has not been playing “Arsenallike” football consistently for the past 2 years, in particular, this season. What is most frustrating, is watching Arsenal play without verve, elan, creativity and explosiveness. Where has the famed 5 second counter attack gone? Where is that exquisite, magical moment from Bergkamp or that solo run from half line by Thierry?
Most of that is missing because we don’t have the personnel to do it consistently.
Win or lose, I always enjoyed watching Le Orange play, just like I enjoyed watching the Arsenal of seasons past.
Started watching Barca 5 years ago and they are my second favorite team. Obviously, I want them to kick Manure’s butt, even more so since they have Arsenal Alma Maters in Henry, Hleib and Sylvinho.
Great blog as usual so keep on trucking.
shocker donuts!! hahaha! so great. i hope you dont mind me using it on my buddies to ante up my funny meter.
oh.. and great article too.
awesome! second best news i’ve heard today! (sorry but being told that our offices are closed both friday and monday has to take the cake)
@Tim,
Is it only “cocksandwich” c$nts that wear blue?
NTW, love the reply feature. Next upgrade could be a polling box…..HINT…HINT
I don’t think the away kits are THAT bad this year, it is basically the same as of 04-05 away kit, just with pinstripes. We have definitely had worse: see Arsenal Away Kit 1991-1993, and Arsenal Away kit 1982-1983. And that’s not including the 1968-1969 Away Kit, which looks sickeningly familiar to a certain other team’s regular kits. That team shall remain nameless but will only be referred to as c*nts. I vote on returning to the bright yellow-royal blue kits of the 70’s and of the 03-04 fame; classic Arsenal.
Well I wasn’t born when Holland lost in the 70s but I do know my little bit of football history and do know about the Dutch teams of the 70s so they do have some notereity in my mind at least. I may not know all of their players, their coach or who they lost to but they are mythical in that they were known to play some glittering football. To argue Donetsk play Arsenal-like is up for debate – it could as well be said they played with Brazilian flair since well their whole team is reliant on the magical Brazilian triangle of Luiz Adriano, Fernandinho and Ilsinho. To be honest I watched the game and Bremen are typically a similarly fluid team since they have their fair share of Brazilian influences like Naldo and Diego – even though he was suspended you can see the influence he has on their overall style of play. Arsenal-like has become synonymous with fluid passing games, but Barca-like may as well be that as well – the difference being that Arsenal and the Prem in general get more global coverage than any other league.
I hope our club doesn’t go down in infamy as you have pointed out – beautiful but unsuccessful.
I hope we have a yellow kit somewhere in there next season as a 3rd kit because the blue looks like every other blue kit from (insert name of club here). The yellow has become one of our modern day traditions so I hope to see it continued.
@caribkid
i’ve seen some run really fast here in nyc… away from the cops
just kidding man!
Caribkid,
I reckon our 5 second counter attack went the way of the dodo when we started dominating possession. I remember days gone by when we would have had say 35% possesion and won 4-0 (with all 4 goals coming in the first 20 minutes). We uses to absolutely destroy teams in the first half and then pick them off on the second.
Were an entirely new kettle of fish now. Where we keep the ball for extended periods and then we get picked off. Either way though, we need more clinical strikers.
Whats interesting Tim, is the “Arsenal-like” accolades are coming up now, with our possesion, movements and passing game. It really is a privilege to have such accolades and to be honest I would hate for us to change our way of playing because we really are a great team to watch.
Donutz, Arsenal like, come on! Accrington Stanley like, maybe, or Northwich Victoria, did I hear someone say who? A bunch of push, pull, kick you’s with a good line in diving. Sorry simulation, a virtual reality foul, which the ref. sees but doesn’t act upon.
Viva!
Here is a bit of historic perspective on this successful vs. beautiful debate. I can painfully relate to this issue growing up in France back in the 80’s. France was (still is) fascinated with ‘beautiful football’… and it goes a long long way back in time:
Back in the 1930s, Uruguay was hands down the best team in the world. The Uruguay National team got on a big ferry boat, and came to France to play a series of exhibition games. Of course they beat every French club and national team by a combined score of gzillion to 1. But what stuck with people more than the score, was the beautiful and flowing style of play they played that was not seen in Europe before. (The original “Arsenal-like”). It was an overnight sensation. Every football player and team in France suddenly wanted to emulate the Uruguayans. Now fast forward to the 1980s. The game of the golden generation of French players like Platini was a modern version of the beautiful game of the Uruguayans. Except that they would beat everybody other than Germany who would invariably would ‘get stuck in’ and kick France off the pitch. Anybody saw the Schumacher-Battiston collision in the semi of the 1982 World Cup? That team was very similar to Holland of the 70’s. Only won the Euro-84 on home soil. 2 losses in World Cup semis in 82 and 86 to Germany, despite beating Brazil, the best team. Then fast forward to 1998 and Jacquet’s national team who won everything over the span of 4+ years. The difference? The defense. And physical play in the Midfield. Now Jacquet was the most insulted football manager of all time until he won the WC. Why? Because he was not playing ‘beautiful’ football. Everybody in France was complaining and hated him. Until he won.
Food for thought.
1. Isn’t it a simile, and not a metaphor?
2. I cannot believe you have not mentioned the 50 Greatest Goals poll over at the dot com. Free videos. It’s like porn. Orgasmic.
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/fa-league-cups/fabregas-did-not-spit-fa-rules-1689148.html
It looks like Fab won’t be banned for life for hurling massive buckets of spit at Brian Horton after all… Although they should give him a stern talking to about his choice of fashion, I’m not a big fan of his jacket.