To all my American readers, happy 4th of July. I hope you all raise a beer and grill a meat in honor of our melting pot of a country and this our 233rd independence day. Also, if you could do me a huge favor and not point bottle rockets at my house, I would really appreciate it. I mean, I’d hate to have to yell at you, then shoot you with my guns, while refusing to quarter British troops…
Anyway, I was just getting to the point in the summer where I resign myself to accepting the fact that Arsenal’s only moves were going to be signing a bunch of players already under contract, like van Persie, Gibbs, Rambo, and Wilshere when all the sudden, like a lightning bolt, Fiorentina’s director Pantaleo Corvino admits on the club web site that they are in negotiations with Arsenal over Felipe Melo, and that, incredibly, they want Eboue thrown in as a makeweight in the transfer.
Not only that, but, erm, he says they are already negotiating with Eboue over contract terms.
Well… I say why stop there? We’ll give you two Emmanuel’s for the price of one! How about we throw in Emmanuel Adebayor to sweeten the deal? How could you turn down a man who, according to his brochure, is “wifi enabled” and a “tender lover?”
I don’t know about you but this news is cause for celebration! I think I’ll even remove him from the “players who didn’t sign for Arsenal page,” there’s life left in this deal yet!
Speaking of that page, I had some trepidations adding Melo when I did because in the back of my mind I thought that there was the off chance that his extending his contract was basically just his way of paying back his employers for taking a chance on him in the first place — you know, extend his contract and increase his transfer fee sort of thing. Fingers crossed that I was right.
The only other story of any note, and one that’s sure to bring a big ole shiat-eating grin to the face of all Arsenal supporters, is that Ashley Cole is rumored to be going to Real Madrid. You all already know how absolutely perfect that would be if it is true. Cole is probably back to his best form since he disgraced himself to wallow in Rubles at Stamford Bridge and though he, like all Chelsea players, is prone to severe bouts of indiscipline and disrespect for the game the Chelsea supporters have finally taken quite a shine to him. In short, now is exactly the time for ole Cashley to do what he does best; cash in on all that good will and move on to a bigger club and a bigger salary. Who could blame him really, this could be his last chance to play for a club with a real history and a real future, oh and did I mention a bigger salary?
Wow. That’s a good day isn’t it? Arsenal are on the brink of signing that hard nosed midfielder that everyone wants, while throwing in a player who is probably excess to requirements, and Chelsea about to get screwed by Judas for a few pieces of silver.
I’ll raise a Pilsner Urquell to that!
Have a happy and safe 4th, and please, seriously, don’t point those damn bottle rockets at my house, thanks.