Matchday 2: Home defeat to Leeds

This match has everything! Several crazy tackles that go unpunished, two red cards, a Mark Viduka goal, and a direct free kick goal that would definitely not be allowed these days. The full match isn’t on Footballia but the extended highlights are available on YouTube.

Before we get into the match recap, a little context!

The match takes place on 21 August 2001 and the number one song in the UK was “Let’s Dance” by the boy band “Five”. Five was so named because it had five members. Sadly all of the members of the band ended up having money problems and several of them quit the music industry. One went back to school to become an architect! On the bright side, one of the members, Scott Robinson, is an Arsenal supporter!

The number one movie in the UK on 21 August was Planet of the Apes, the reboot starring Marky Mark Wahlberg and directed by Tim Burton. I think I saw this movie but I really can’t remember it and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste two hours or whatever watching it again. The number one movie in the USA was American Pie 2, the sequel to the movie about a teenager who was so horny, he had sex with a pie. This was a terrible time in cinema and music, folks.

The Prime Minister was Tony Blair and the President of the United States was George W. Bush. Things just aren’t getting better in this story are they? Although, I will say that this was not the worst time in either country’s history but things are just about to go off the rails.

The starting lineup for the Arsenal is David Seaman in goal, Tony Adams and Sol Campbell at CB, Lauren at RB and Cole at LB. In the Midfield we had PV4 and Ray Parlour starting. Up top we had Ljungberg, Pires, Henry and Wiltord.

Leeds set the tone of the match right away with a Mark Viduka on Pires in the 23rd second. It’s the kind of tackle that would be a straight red today because he’s totally out of control and two-footed on Pires’ foot. Referee Jeff Winter tells everyone to calm down and also shushes everyone after every one of his bad calls. Viduka didn’t get a yellow.

In the 5th minute Dacourt tried to split Patrick Vieira’s leg in half but was so crazy late that Vieira was away and up the pitch. Jeff Winter called that foul back and successfully halted a promising counter attack by Arsenal.

20 seconds later, Danny Mills didn’t like Ashley Cole taking a throw in so he ran over and kicked him to the ground. Referee Jeff Winter told everyone to calm down, be quiet, and then had a word with Mills. No card!

Dacourt would get the first yellow card in the 9th minute for kicking the back of Vieira’s legs. Then in the 12th minute Lee Bowyer got a yellow card for two-footing Lauren. I think you’re starting to get a sense of how this match went!

Mills got a yellow in the 16th minute for punching Ljungberg in the face. In the video of the foul I’m reminded that PV4 wore the ADIDAS Predators! Those were easily my favorite all time shoe.

Arsenal took control of the match and created quite a few decent chances for Wiltord. But in the 27th minute Pires fouled Mills (barely but whatever) and the referee gave a direct free kick. Arsenal were still getting settled when the ref let Harte take a quick free kick and he scored. I am not sure but I think the rules have been changed since then to make it so that the referee has to blow the whistle to indicate that the game is back on. It’s not something we can probably complain about though, since I believe Arsenal scored a goal in similar circumstances (not in this game).

Wiltord would equalize when he put in a diving header on a Cole cross. With the score tied, Danny Mills ran around kicking people from behind. The ref gave him two more tickings off. Then the pig fucker Alan Smith kicked Pires and called him a twat. Viduka missed an open chance and gave a little foreshadowing as he was able to beat Big Tone way too easily. The Captain had definitely lost a few steps by this point in his career.

The 2nd half was more of the same! Leeds trying to rough Arsenal up. But before the real shithousery started Viduka scored. I cannot emphasize how much I hated Mark Viduka. I blame him for this game and for the one we lost to them toward the end of the 2002/03 season that knocked us out of the title race (I know we lost the season the week before at Bolton). Viduka just rolled Tony Adams, it was truly embarrassing and I felt bad for Adams watching him try to grab Viduka as the striker scored the go-ahead goal. Adams only played 10 matches this season and sat out between September and March as Wenger played Keown and Upson instead.

After taking the lead, Leeds enshittified this match even more than before. Wenger brought on Dennis Bergkamp, Jeffers (!!) and Giovanni von Bronckhorst. Arsenal gave two kicks back and Henry and Cole were both booked. To be fair, the Cole tackle was pretty crazy, he lifted his foot up to make sure he kicked Bowyer. Then Pires got a yellow for kicking Mills. Then Viduka kicked Pires and got a yellow. Then Bowyer gets a yellow for running behind Vieira and kicking him and that’s it, he’s gone. But not before he makes the ugliest face I’ve ever seen and calls the ref some words that are very bad!

Arsenal created a couple of half-chances but nothing clear cut. Then Danny Mills dumps Cole to the ground with a hand to the face and a lunging tackle and while he’s down kicks the ball at him. Even the Spanish language commentators called him “estupid”. Red card but with just 10 minutes left in the game it wouldn’t matter.

One thing that I didn’t remember is that Rio Ferdinand played for Leeds that season. He was club captain and would have to be sold in the Summer when Leeds suffered devastating financial problems. Leeds had borrowed heavily in hopes of getting a Champions League place and a big financial windfall. They finished 5th this season and suddenly the chickens had come home to roost. That summer they were forced to sell Rio Ferdinand to Man U for £30m (a record). Ferdinand would “miss” taking a drugs test and was suspended for 8 months in his 2nd season at Man U. Leeds would be saved from relegation in 2002/03 thanks to the 3-2 win over Arsenal in the penultimate match of the season (which meant that the title went to United) and Leeds would be relegated the next season after going into administration. Leeds wouldn’t make it back to the Premier League until 2020, under the management of Marcelo Bielsa.

Arsenal would go on to win the League, twice. So as much as Viduka got to celebrate (twice) against Arsenal, we got the last laugh.

Fuck Leeds United.

Qq

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