Arsene Wenger Goes Christmas Shopping

Merry Christmas or X-mas or Festivus or whatever you celebrate, have a great one of those.  The snow still has us all locked in and work has been canceled for another day and I’m starting to go a little stir crazy.

Adding to my misery, every reporter across the planet is currently speculating on who Arsene Wenger is going to buy when the transfer window opens. The only real story we have ahead of the Villa match on Friday is that Martin Laursen and Carlos Cuellar won’t be available for Martin O’Neill.

Oh yeah, and Cesc doesn’t need an operation.

Great.

Sigh… in a sense I get what I deserve don’t I? I mean, there I was standing behind the boss when he stood pat this summer and now that everyone sees that standing pat was the wrong decision I get some residual heat. Nothing like what Wenger gets but it’s kind of tiresome regardless.

I get the question a lot, why am I so opposed to speculation? My opposition to transfer speculation comes from years of disappointment. At the height of Chelsea’s free spending ways, Arsenal kept getting linked to players we all knew we needed and we had to sit there and watch those players go to our rivals; Essien, Wright-Phillips, etc. Meanwhile Arsenal settled for guys like Baptista.

This year was even more frustrating because Arsene refused to bend or break the rules to keep Flamini, who was my favorite player last season, and when linked to players who could replace him, Arsenal basically failed at every turn (Alonso, etc). Add to that the fact that Wenger bet his money on another couple of broke down hags (Bischoff? Really Arsene? What’s he going to be, the next Alex Song?) and really it seems f*cking pointless to talk about transfers.

I can tell you who I’d like on the team — given the long term injuries to Cesc, Theo, and Rosicky, the fact that Gallas is a head case, the lack of competition for the central midfielders,  the lack of width, and other problems in the squad. Here’s what I’d do:

  1. Nasri takes Cesc’s spot — well, he does his best
  2. Play Vela wide left and when he isn’t playing striker, play Eduardo over there.  Too bad Arsenal sent Traore to Pompey, he’d also fill in there.
  3. Buy a right wing player — Ashley Young would be perfect, but there’s no way Arsenal could get him from Villa because basically Young is worth a Champions League spot so £30m would be a bargain and I wouldn’t be surprised if they value him closer to £50m — I believe Wenger will renew his summer interest in Kalou. Chelsea need to sell in order to buy and Kalou has fallen out of favor with the fans. N’Zogbia might also get a look, he’s a defensive minded midfielder with great pace.
  4. Sell Gallas and buy a Premiership tested defender. Most people think Arsenal need size, but I’d rather they bought a sweeper because Djourou is coming along quite nicely. Lucas Neill from West Ham would be great.
  5. Bring Senderos back, hey I like him.
  6. Buy Alonso. Cup tied? So? Song loses his spot? So? £20m? So?

Ok, so there, that’s what I’d do. What would you do? Please use bullet points.

The problem with all this is that none of it will transpire. Why would West Ham let Lucas Neill go, when that would almost certainly mean them making the drop? Why would Liverpool let Alonso go to a title rival? Those guys would have to threaten to score an own goal or something in order to get transfered.

No… Chance are Arsene will buy Geremi or something, or he won’t buy sh*t and we’ll all be left here, stuck in the snow, F5ing our newsfeeds begging Arsenal to sign someone.

Now you see why I don’t speculate? It’s depressing and pointless.

Anyway, try to have a merry whatever you celebrate, I’m sleeping in tomorrow I heard it’s good for my heart.

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