West Bro v. Arsenal

Bro. Arsenal play West Bro tomorrow in a match that doesn’t matter, Bro.

“They are physically very strong and they are very efficient on set pieces, bro.” – Wenger on West Brom.

West Brom have scored more goals from set plays than any other team this season with 16. You can compare and contrast that with Swansea and West Ham who have scored 13 goals from set plays this season but the difference is that between West Brom and West Ham is that, specifically, and to the point, like when you get down to it, bro, West Brom be crushiiin goals like my buddy Harley crushes syringes.

West Brom has scored 20% of their shots from set plays. That’s like a bad night at the club for me, bro, just sayin. But, in the Premier League, that’s tiiight. That’s the bomb dot com.

Let me give you a little bit of perspective. West Brom have only taken 82 shots from set plays and they have scored 16 times. I scored 16 times on your girlfriend. Arsenal, who are like one of those dudes at the club who have to wear a suit with big shoulder pads, you know who else wears pads? Your girlfriend. But, I digest from my original point which was, specifically, that Arsenal have taken 78 shots from set plays and have scored 7 goals. That’s 9% bro. That’s just average.

Tottenham are weak at set plays bro. Just 5%! That’s like second worst behind Sunderland who have scored just one time on 70  shots. My cousin scored once on 70 tries. It was with your mom. By the way bro, your mom makes the best breakfast.

No but serious. What is David Moyest doing at Sunderland?? HA HA HA. They are going to go down faster than, ok, I’m not going to make a your mom joke but you get the point riight? RIIGHT? They are going down faster than me on a really hot girl. I’m talking like Pam Anderson before she got married, bro. But Sunderland, if they aren’t even going to be good at set plays might even make the drop to the 2nd division.

The second division is rough bro. It’s like, if the Premier League is New York City, 2nd division is like Philly. Rough. I got stabbed there once. True story.

West Brom is going to come at you bro. That’s what I’m saying. And West Brom use their head. They have scored 12 goals with their head. They aren’t just all coming into the club with their shirt open and bumping into people, they use their heads. They will be all like “I heard you like poetry, want to hear a poem?” and then they will headbut the girl’s date and be like “fuck that! HA HA. BOMBS” and score.

Arsenal actually lead the league in headed goals with 13.

Solomon Rondon is 4th in the League in headed shots. And Gareth McAuley leads West Brom in set play shots with 14. McAuley is a real threat if he gets hold of the ball, he’s scored 6 times on 14 set play shots. And Rondon is second in the League in headed goals with 5. Tied with Arsenal’s Giroud, who is the beefiest bro I’ve ever seen. I bet that accent slays.

Craig Dawson has 9 yellow cards and Claudio Yacob has 7. They do a lot of kicking out there. They are 6th most foul team in the League, tied with Tottenham, who are a sick fouling team.

Rondon has been dispossessed the second most times of anyone in the League and has the 4th most unsuccessful touches, tied with Paul Pogba. Matt Phillips takes West Brom’s corners and has the most key passes off corners for them. He also tries to dribble but sucks.

Yeah, so, West Brom are basic bro. But they are very good at scoring goals off set plays. And they will almost certainly, and without fail, probably, will fall down when touched so that they can win free kicks and stuff and get their old dudes like McAuley up there to terrorize Arsenal’s Mustafi.

Qq

 

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