T-minus 11 days

Disclaimer: The following blog contains lame attempts at humor, some of which will stretch the boundaries of reality and may even contain factual errors. Studies have shown that due to the occasional missed fact this blog may have the following side effects: headaches, diarrhea, vomiting, blindness in one eye, correctism, Eboueism, lazy vein syndrome, and acne. If after reading this column you have the overwhelming urge to comment about a mistake the writer made, or an erection that lasts for more than three hours, please seek immediate medical attention.

As I was cruising thought this morning’s “news” I saw an article from the dot com about something something Emirates cup. Like, get to know Valencia or whoever we’re playing, who cares, right? So, looking for a scoop I sauntered over there and took a look at the fixtures list — when is this Emirates Cup, this glorious trophy that Arsenal have won two years in a row now once [who knew people took the Emirates Cup so serious? ed.], this trophy that’s at least as important as the Charity Shield, twice as meaningful as the Club World Cup, and easily traded for a cabinet full of League Cups, I wondered?

Hmmm… August.

Then I noticed it, and it sent a little tingle through my system, July 18th, that’s when Arsenal play Barnet in the first pre-season match! That’s uhhhh, just 11 days from now!

I can’t wait, get some sausages, a beer, and sit down at 7am to watch some pixellated web video of an Arsenal friendly against Barnet, those pesky bees. Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll do something else that day, like I said, it was just a minor tingle.

If you really want to get excited, there’s a pictorial of the boys all training together over at the dot com. There’s Thomas Rosicky (yay!), Eduardo (double yay!!), new kid Vermaelen, Andrei Arshavin, some big dude, and Phillipe Senderos. Yes, big Phil is back training with the squad and though he ominously doesn’t have a squad number yet, I’m sure he figures in Arsene’s plans. Right?

Anyway, the transfer line has gone completely dead and I am choosing to believe that’s because Arsenal are deep in negotiations with Lorik Cana to bring him to the club. As I twitted yesterday, L’Equipe are reporting that l’OM have signed M’Bia causing a three-apostrophe pile-up on Google Reader and clearing the way for Cana to sign with some as-yet-unnamed club. Given the fact that Fiorentina are asking £21.5m for Melo while Cana’s buy out is a mere £6.5m, I’m putting the odds on Cana coming to Arsenal.

Though the news is heavily running the Eboue plus cash for Melo story today.

IF we sign anyone else. There’s always that guy Likeanewsigning that Arsene keeps talking about.

Meanwhile, poor put upon Emmanuel Adebayor seems to have dropped from third place to fifth place in the AC Milan beauty pageant with the club now targeting Headcase Huntelaar, Fabulous Fabiano, and the Apostrophul E’t’o’o”’ over him. In fact, Adebayor isn’t even being mentioned, by anyone, except me. I guess this means that he’s not going anywhere? I don’t know, he’s not in any of the training pictures.  I have a bad feeling this is all going to end sadly for Ade.

One of the questions I get most often on here is “why aren’t we being linked with Veloso?” or some variant thereof. Just this morning, I noticed that he’s now being linked to Bolton and Aston Villa. I’m not saying he’s a terrible player, but you have to wonder if he’s Arsenal quality. After all, he’s now being fought over by at least one club who’s idea of a good central midfielder is Kevin Nolan. And considering that all the big clubs have certainly had a good look at him and passed him by, again, you have to wonder if there isn’t an issue there.

And finally, as an American I would be violating some code of conduct if I didn’t mention the two American players who have just inked deals with big European clubs; Oguchi Onyewu and Anton Peterlin. The first one is a bit of a shock, Onyewu is tall and athletic, at the top of his game, but he’s never been overly impressive. I wish him the best of luck at AC Milan, just training with the quality of players that they have on that team is going to be the experience of a lifetime and who knows maybe he can break into the first team?

Anton Peterlin, on the other hand, is a complete Cinderella story — I mean Goal! story. This is a kid who plays holding midfield for a 4th division American club and who somehow got on David Moyes radar and earned a contract with Everton. I don’t think it happens very often that a club as big as Everton dips into amateur development leagues and signs guys, so, as a good American I’ll be rooting for the underdog to make it big. That is, if I see his name ever again.

That’s it for today, see you tomorrow, where we will be just 10 days away from an Arsenal match!