My friends wonder why I call you all of the time
What can I say
I don’t feel the need to give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help, no, I know that I’m right
I’m just better off not listening to friends adviceWhen they insist on knowing my bliss
I tell them this
When they want to know what the reason is
I only smile when I lie, then I tell them why
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
Because your kiss is on my list of the best things in life
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
(because your kiss) your kiss I cant resist
Evidently, Arsene Wenger called Bordeaux president Jean-Louis Triaud and told him that Marouane Chamakh was on his “list of strikers:” preposterous popcockery, I say.
I have a dear friend, Everton supporter but we’ll forgive him that indiscretion, who, when absolutely shiat-faced will start telling people “you’re on the list.” Then he will promptly write your name down on a scrap of paper. If you get “on the list” a second time, for gods only know what transgression, you then get “crossed off the list.” Maybe, just maybe, this is the list that Mr. Triaud was referring to?
Maybe Wenger took the night off, got a couple bottles of wine, you know Boones Farm, some ice, and a pint glass and put in the old tapes of the Invincibles season and got proper drunk. Then in his fugue state, grabbed the phone and called Jean-Louis to tell him he’s “on the list.” It’s the only thing that makes sense.
OR!
Bordeaux could be trying to increase Chamakh’s price in the sale to Sunderland.
You pick: drunken Wenger booty call OR transparent attempt to boost sales price.
Meanwhile, the other side of the press corpse is pushing hard for Arsenal to buy Daniele de Rossi, because, wait for it… wait for it… because he’s valued at £30m. No seriously, that’s the reason: Arsenal have £30m (from the sales of Toure and Adebayor minus the purchase of Vermy) de Rossi is worth £30m, and Roma is in financial trouble, ergo, Arsenal are buying de Rossi.
The de Rossi story reminds me a lot of the David Villa saga that’s been going on now for like 14 years; the reporters don’t have anything to go on so they fabricate this intricate web of financial intrigue in the vain attempt to make it look like there’s something going on.
That said, I have watched de Rossi for years on YouTube and he’s exactly what Arsenal need, he’s a ball breaker:
That’s pretty much it for today in the fake transfer news, well, there’s this one story where Arsenal will sign Patrick Vieira and Blaise Matuidi simultaneously and try to fuse them together to make one super midfielder: experienced but full of youthful vigor.
But that story’s crazy, right?
Oh, and there’s some news that Eboue’s transfer to Fiorentina is off because Arsenal want too much from him. I wanted to say something about this the other day but forgot. From what I’ve seen so far this season, Eboue looks faster, slimmer, and actually was the lone bright spot in the second half of the Hannover game. £10m for a player with his versatility, heart, and engine is actually pretty cheap and I’d rather we kept him.
New favorite word
Ineffectualness: adj. Not producing the proper or intended effect: Futile.
cf. Emmanuel Adebayor in front of goal.
Injuries
The club received good news about Thomas Rosicky the other day and the midfield maestro should be playing for Arsenal this weekend at the Emirates cup. Turns out his “injury” was just Wenger being cautious with the player, since he’d been out of commission for 18 months.
Still in the injury room, apparently, is Gael Clichy. If you remember, he suffered a back injury at the end of last year and it supposedly hasn’t healed. I had been asking around about his fitness and today is the first bit of news I’ve seen about him all summer and it’s not good.
This injury explains why “Gerry” (my new nickname for Silvestre) was featured at left back all pre-season. We may need to get used to seeing Gerry or Vermaelen at left back for a while but let’s hope not.
Emirates Cup
The Emirates Cup kicks off tomorrow morning with Rangers v. PSG at 6:30am (PST) followed by Arsenal v. Athletico Madrid at 8:30am (PST). The matches are being carried live here in the states on GolTV which I don’t have because I don’t have sattelite TV.
I have a call in to Russ at Doyle’s to see if they have GolTV and if they will be open in the morning. If they don’t or aren’t then I’m sure I can catch some dodgy stream of the game online.The ArsenalTV Online is strictly an audio feed which I suppose I could make do with. You know, pretend it’s the 50’s or something and the only way I can catch an Arsenal match is on the radio.
I will update this space for the locals if Doyle’s is open tomorrow.
DOYLE’S IS HOSTING TACOMA GOONERS FOR THE EMIRATES CUP TOMORROW AND SUNDAY– CLICK HERE FOR DIRECTIONS
Photos of the new pitch look absolutely brilliant and I’m excited to see some action on it in the morning, hopefully on a real television.
I do want to put a fly in everyone’s drink and caution you against watching this tournament and thinking that this is how Arsenal are going to play all season. I know a lot of people are saying that this is the first real test for the team but in reality this is just another friendly, and the rules are skewed to benefit Arsenal.
Arsenal decided that “shots on goal” (a fan’s suggestion) would be the tie breaker in the event of a tie after points, goal differential, and goals have already been taken into account. Wenger’s been beating this “shots on goal” concept for a while as a remedy to the way the EPL is played. But the reality is that parking the bus works. Arsenal used it against Man U to win the FA Cup in 2005. Wenger claims he hated doing it but it worked and I suspect he’d do it again if there was a trophy on the line.
So, don’t put too much stock in this weekend’s festivities as a harbringer of things to come, after all, no one parks the bus in from of goal in a freindly, much less in a friendly tourney where shots on goal are a decider.
Two weeks at Everton, now, that will be a different story.
