I wish The Sun would just die in a fire

cana-nasri1

Well, the Sun is back with more stuff they either simply make up or they let others make up for them and report it as fact.

Tiring of the Arshavin to Barca story, today they claim that an “Arsenal Insider” told them that Arsenal would sell Cesc for £40m. Sigh… the only thing interesting about this story is the fact that they can’t say “Cesc wants to go to Real Madrid” because he’s categorically denied wanting to leave like, what, three times already this month? So, instead they just switch to “the club would sell if the price is right.” Of course the club would consider selling if the price was right AND the player wanted to move on.

But saying that is a far cry from “Arsenal slap £40m price-tag on Cesc.” He’s not for sale, they haven’t slapped anything on anyone, though I’d like to see them slap The Sun.

Maybe next year might be different, Wenger himself has admitted that, but this year, right now, everyone, EVERYONE is committed to this team and this project.

Full Stop.

The only other news stories are that Lorik Cana is NOT transferring to Wolfsburg and that Real Madrid have admitted that they need to sell. The Cana story is really interesting for a couple of reasons.  First, his manager (and dad) admits that he’s looking to leave l’OM but he’s just waiting for his replacement to sign first. That replacement is supposedly none other than supposed Arsenal/Newscastle/Everton target Stephane M’Bia. So, anyway, that’s all well and fine, but the other interesting statement is that l’OM only want £6.5m for Cana. I don’t know about you but I find that price tag incredibly cheap for a player of his stature.

Also, I just want to admit that I am now personally targeting Lorik Cana for Arsenal for the following reasons: he’s a male model and we haven’t had one of those since Freddy Ljungberg left, he’s played with Samir Nasri before, and in the photograph above you can see that he’s not all brawn and beauty, he has a soft side — cradling grown men in his arms as they weep gently on his shoulder.

All that for just £6.5m? Come on!

The second story is obvious, Real Madrid have a squad of some 35 players as it stands and with more players expected to come in (LIKE CESC, AMIRIGHT???) they are saying that they need to sell 10 players. So, in the spirit of The Sun’s journalism I’m going to make something up:

ARSENAL SLAP THE TASTE OUT OF CALDERON’S MOUTH WITH £10m PLUS EBOUE’S RIGHT LEG FOR DANI PAREJO.

Sources inside 7amkickoff spoke exclusively to 7amkickoff and revealed that Arsenal are making a shock bid for 20 year old 6’1″ 76kg U21 Spanish International Dani Parejo. Our source said “well, he had a great loan spell at Queens Park Rangers and that’s “like a Premiership Team” so we think he would be a great addition to this Arsenal team, in fact he would be ‘like a new signing.’  That is, if we can’t get Lorik Cana to do some underwear modeling for us first. Also, if we can’t get Melo in Yellow. Though we’ll be wearing blue as an away kit next year so that joke doesn’t make any sense.” When we attempted to contact Dani Parejo he was unavailable for comment though another source inside 7amkickoff said “honey, are you almost done with the blog? I need you to take out the trash.” And we all know what THAT means!

Oh god, please let there be news tomorrow, real, honest to goodness news.

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