Friday Transfer Roundup; What's Weak This Week?

The one constant of the last few years as an Arsenal supporter has been the fact that we all basically go bat-shiat crazy during the summer. Some more than others, calling for pretty much everyone in the squad to be replaced, but everyone to some degree wants Arsenal to sign some new blood. You could characterize the distance between these two camps as a rift among supporters but I think you’d be wrong. We all just want a winning squad, and unfortunately we all think we know how to get us there. Hell, even the players at the club seem to think they know how to get some silverware what with England’s Future Number One stating that Arsenal need to splash the cash, and Robin van Persie saying keep the faith.

I guess it’s just something that almost all Arsenal supporters do. I can’t quite get my head around it, so, if you think you know why we are so transfer crazy, please let us all know in the comments.

Meanwhile, here’s a wrap up of who we didn’t sign this week and the chances that we will sign them!

Felipe Melo: Arsene Wenger has so many options to buy in central midfield that this one particular “Will he or won’t he?” is starting to grate on a lot of folks’ nerves. I would welcome the player but I don’t think Arsenal are even involved in this any more, irregardless the statements of his agent/the Fiorentina President, etc. It’s looking increasingly like Arsenal are being used as a stick to get the maximum value out of the transfer to Juve. -1/10

Miguel Veloso: Evidently, this player rates highly, on gaming consoles. In real life? He’s headed to Bolton. That he was linked so heavily to Arsenal last year and so decisively not this year shows you that the press knows f*ck all about where players are actually headed. Chances he’s coming to Arsenal this year? 0/10

Ever Banega: Ever do what? Tiny, miniscule, little Argentinian holding midfielder who currently plays for Valencia. He’s only been in Spain for 1 year, he’s not currently on the Argentinian national team and I’d be surprised if Arsenal could get him a work permit. 1/10

Dani Parejo: Big, rangy, young, hard nosed holding midfielder. Incessantly linked to Arsenal by possibly the keenest footballing mind on the planet. 2/10

Fabian Delph: No one is linking Delph to Arsenal, except me. In fact, he was heavily linked last year but this year the line went dead. The fact remains that Arsene Wenger is heavily investing in English kids, possibly to stave off constant criticism and likely to side-step potential rules changes such as the proposed 6+5 Affirmative Action Quota System for Englishmen. Delph is a left footed midfielder with a blistering shot and a bit of an early penchant for long range goals. His old manager compared his lung capacity to an Ethiopian Marathon runner, and I’ve seen him compared favorably to many of England’s finest midfielders, and Gareth Barry. Leeds are publicly admitting that two clubs have bid for the youngster but aren’t saying who and it’s a bit of a stretch, since Arsenal already have a British midfield core for the future, but with Wenger you never know. 3/10

Eden Hazard: His name may be an oxymoron, but Wenger would be a straight moron NOT to sign him. I’ve played him on the x-box* and I can tell you he is better than RonaldoKakaRonaldoRonaldinho all rolled into one. Plus, he wants to play for Arsenal. Never mind that Arsenal has more attacking options than you could shake a stick at, this guy is GOOD. Need we say more? 4/10

Chamakh: Wenger actually admitted that he was looking at this tall striker, but only as an option if Adebayor demands a transfer away. Given the fact that Ade went from 1st place to 5th place in AC Milan’s World Strikers Beauty Pageant I think we all have to admit that this is 50-50 at best. I’m feeling generous, plus I do think Arsene is trying to offload a player who has an attitude problem. 5/10

Lorik Cana: Cana has announced himself as eligible, but ONLY if l’OM sign a replacement. Cana’s logical replacement, Stephane M’Bia, is trying to sign with Marseilles but crap keeps getting hung up. The latest news I read on L’Equipe is that the deal is all but done. Once that happens, expect to see reports linking the £6.5m rated Albanian Supermodel to several clubs, with Arsenal being the favorite owing to the fact that Wenger already tried once before to bring him in and was denied over a work permit. 7/10

Blaise Matuidi: Young, African Francophone, reminds me of Michael Essien, and we do know that Arsene tried to sign Essien. Additionally, he’s reportedly available for a mere £2.5m and further reportedly had a meeting with Wenger this week. Not exactly the guy that Arsenal supporters are looking for, we’d rather have an M’Bia or Cana by my estimation, but certainly fits Wenger’s historical buying patterns. 8/10

There’s your weekly roundup, I’m sure if I missed anyone you’ll let me know about it.

Have fun and see you tomorrow!

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