We're entering another dimension…

There’s nothing going on today.

The 3rd place match for the most important trophy in the history of world sport won’t kick off until 5:30am PST tomorrow and the finals won’t be until 11am PST so I’m stuck here trolling the internet for rumor, innuendo, hell, even something made up would be nice. Unfortunately, it’s dead out there. Well, there’s a one paragraph interview with Arsene Wenger on L’Equipe (in French) in which he gives a world exclusive insight into the “Arsenal way.” Uhhh, basically, he says that he didn’t go to Real Madrid because Arsenal are entering another dimension, where time stands still, door open, and Arsenal win a Champions League trophy with a bunch of teenagers.

It’s really fantastic.

Meanwhile, anyone who has been linked to Arsenal pretty much ever is now saying that they won’t be coming in. Yaya signed a 1 year extension with Barca which should stave off the Yaya to Arsenal speculation at least until January. I updated the Players who didn’t sign for Arsenal page, don’t make me edit it again!

Felipe Melo is the other oft speculated about player and his agent is saying that he’s happy at Fiorentino, which is good because I don’t want the bugger. Well, I’ll take anyone that Arsene signs, but I haven’t seen anything special from him… yet.  I’ll be watching him play against the USA tomorrow (if he gets a start, his teammates were pissed at him the other day) and I’ll write about the final match on Monday. Meanwhile, tomorrow’s blog will be a recap of the 3rd place match — if Cesc plays.

Like I said, there’s not much going on today, so in the time honored tradition of all “reporters” I’m going to make shiat up!

Taking a page from Wenger’s entering another dimension, today’s made up story is part fantasy, part reality, and it’s called “Who should Arsene Wenger buy from the U21 tournament?”

Basically, we all know that Wenger isn’t going to buy experience. We also know that he’s looking for a bargain. So, who better to pick up than some kids who shine at the U21s?

You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the u21  Zone!

Tim Sparv: Solid defensive midfielder who has shown leadership qualities as the Finnish U21 captain. He’s also almost 2 meters tall and showed great promise in the air when he scored a header for Finland against England in their 2-1 loss. Tim Sparv is also reportedly a “good boy” which Wenger prizes highly, and he speaks impeccable English having been a roommate with Theo Walcott at Sothhampton.  Throw in the fact that he’s out of contract with his club Halmstad and he could be lured to Arsenal for dirt cheap.  Chance of this happening? 11/10, a no name youthful player, who hasn’t been linked to Arsenal in the press? This is a done deal!

Marco Andreolli: What? You mean you’ve never head of him either? He’s a tallish, solid Italian defender who has good heading instincts. He’s formed a relatively effective partnership in defense for Italy and caught the eye of many scouts. He’s currently on loan to Roma and isn’t getting much playing time behind their starting lineup. Chance of this happening? 3/10, he’s got many of the qualities that Arsene looks for but he’s Italian and I don’t remember the last time an Italian came to Arsenal.

Fabrice Muamba: Muamba’s the kind of player that one day has a great game and the next he struggles. Over the last few matches for England, however, he’s been massively impressive earning man of the match plaudits from his coach (he didn’t win them from the awarders though!). Though he may lack the passing range that Arsene is looking for there is no doubt that his tackling and heading would add a ton of steel to our young team. Chance of this happening? 5/10. Wenger has maintained for like 100 years that he’s never going to re-buy a player he let go, which would normally mean this is a 1/10, but Wenger has the capacity to surprise some times and I could honestly see him bringing Muamba in.

So, there you go, I made some stuff up. What do you all think? Who has impressed you this summer? Make some stuff up youself below — it’s fun!

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