I know how crazy everything has become in the last 24 hours. In truth it was always already going to get this crazy, the signs were all there, so I was sort of prepared for it mentally. But even as ready as I was in my mind, the reality of Trump’s attempted coup hit me cold.
I wish I could say this without sounding pretentious but no matter how I write it it comes out that way. So, I’ll just try to make this about me rather than what I think you should do. I am practicing meditation and mindfulness at this time. There’s an app called Atom which I found very useful in helping to build my practice. Each session is guided and lasts a mere 10 minutes or less. In those sessions I learned to observe my thoughts, redirect my thoughts in more positive ways, learned to focus my thoughts on my body, and it helped to clear some of the clouds in my head. And as a bonus, meditation and mindfulness has been a key companion to my sobriety.
I found it useful to set myself a time to meditate every day. First I make my bed, then I make sure my room is clean, and then I practice meditation. In this way mindfulness is built into my daily practices.
The best example I can give to endorse mindfulness is that sometimes when I’m walking the dog and observing birds I find that thoughts will invade this sanctuary and get me down. These are things that I have no control over but which give me anxiety. These thoughts come to me like a train full of passengers, the doors open and thousands of thoughts suddenly swarm the station of my mind. My mindfulness practice has allowed me to recognize the whistle of that oncoming train and – at the best of times – refocus back to what I’m doing, back to what I can work on right now, and let the train empty for a moment so that I can get back to a much quieter platform.
At the worst of times, I am standing at the Millies Cookies in Paddington Station, all the trains have arrived at once and disgorge their passengers in the thousands. Some thoughts come in waves, other zip around between the waves, trying to get to me first. These moments threaten to drag me under: angry, frustrated, hurt, afraid, and even happy, or excited.
When this happens I try to focus on the things and people I am grateful for. I will focus on Avie’s mother, for example, and just be grateful that she is such a caring and loving mom. That brings me to a place where I am still surrounded but at least my head is bobbing, barely above the din.
That’s where I am today, the day after Donald Trump and the fascist wing of the Republican party broke into the Capitol building and attempted to overthrow the government of the United States. Barely above everything, clinging to scraps of gratuity as I can find them.
The USA is at a dangerous crossroad. I don’t know too many countries (none actually) who have had such an open right-wing coup attempt and not gone ever further down the path of partisanship and toward an open civil war.
But that said, I’m not smart enough to have answers right now other than it’s plainly obvious that Trump must be removed from office immediately. This man cannot have access to the nuclear codes. He’s an existential threat to humanity at this point.
From there, how we reconcile as a nation is the big question. We cannot continue to have elected officials using social media as “superspreader sites” for verifiable lies such as “the election was stolen” or that the terrorist attack on the Capitol building was “actually the work of antifa”. And I think we need to hold people like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and Matt Gaetz accountable for spreading these lies to further their political careers. These men aren’t stupid. They know that they are telling lies. What they have done, pandering to the fascist wing of their party, needs to have consequences. They need to be expelled from public office forever.
After that, we need truth and reconciliation in this nation. We can say for absolute certainty that if this had been a black or native protest there would have been massive bloodshed. If Barack Obama had held a rally in DC in the days before Trump’s inauguration and incited Democrats to attack the Capitol building, the military and police response wouldn’t have been to open the gates and take selfies with the terrorists. There would have been tanks on the streets. That can’t be allowed to continue. We cannot have two justice systems: one which carries out public executions of black citizens, and the other which opens the gates for white citizens.
We know that there are two justice systems because we have seen the response to the protests – peaceful and otherwise – across this nation for the last 130 years. Any time the structures of power are challenged, any time the powerful are asked to share the wealth of equality with the oppressed minority in this country, they respond with military force. The reason the Trump militia wasn’t attacked by the military is because they ARE the structures of power.
People say that the fact Republicans so easily took over the Capitol building is an example of white privilege. This wasn’t white privilege, this was white power. And they planted the symbols of white power on the floor of the House and Senate: Confederate battle flags, Nazi tee shirts, and Trump flags.
This nation cannot survive with a minority threatening murder if they don’t get their way. And people who espouse white nationalism need to be held accountable. The Boogaloo Boys – so named because they want “Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo” – are a terrorist organization. Their goal is to incite a 2nd civil war. That means that their goal is to murder innocent Americans. I understand that we have free speech but I guarantee that if we had a large, armed, muslim group publicly saying that they want to overthrow the government and start shooting Americans they would all be arrested as terrorists. And if they took over a single government building, we’d be nuking Iran or something right now.
Free speech doesn’t mean “speech free from consequences”. You can threaten to murder the president of the United States (freedom of speech) but you will go to jail for it (consequences!). You cannot hold Jihad rallies, you cannot have a group that arms and threatens the security of the USA.
We currently bug (intercept) virtually all communication in this country in order to make sure we don’t have a single jihadist plant a single bomb in anger. And yet, the powers that be haven’t done anything to stop the spread of white terrorists in this country. Their channels of communications aren’t even difficult to find: they are on reddit, Qanon, Twitter, Facebook, and daily out of the mouth of the fucking President of the United States, Donald John Trump. The FBI have turned a blind eye to this growing terrorist threat. They have given comfort to this attempted coup by not jailing the leaders and people who use social media to radicalize young men – inciting kids to go shoot protestors or attack our public institutions.
Oh… I’m losing it. My train station is full right now. Fuck. This is so infuriating. Look, bottom line: we cannot go on like this. This is an existential crisis for the United States. Either we solve this or we head into the long dark winter of civil war. And before you think that’s a far off prospect or ridiculous; this won’t be uniforms and trenches, it will be small armed clashes at protests (which we have already seen), and then those will spill over into suburbs and turn into targeted murders, bombings, martial law, military and police lockdowns, and the complete dissolution of political discourse.
If we don’t start immediate work to fix this, I fear for this summer.
But all I can do is breathe.
Recall Harari saying something to the tune of “When social media was in its infancy people used to say naievely that it is going to enable global friendships, but given what we know about human nature we should have predicted that it would bring out the worst in us”
For the last few years I look at this world through the lens of social media for a while and then I have to retreat and be ‘mindful’. I think that most sane people all over the world would be in a similar state.
Thank you for another excellent read!
Thanks for the thoughtful article. You put into words what a lot of us are thinking.
Thanks for posting this, Tim. It is depressing and infuriating at the same time. I’d love to think that the legitimate consequences for Trump and his cronies will be swift and certain, but I’m cynical about that ever happening given how many in the Republican party protect and enable this tyrant. Trump should be removed from office. Now. But how likely is this to occur? (Serious question…am I being too cynical? Is there hope that there might actually be consequences that involve Trump’s impeachment or removal? That people like Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz will be held accountable?)
Incidentally, here’s how John Milton defined tyrants and the people who follow them, and it rings true:
“A tyrant, whether by wrong or by right coming to the crown, is he who, regarding neither law nor the common good, reigns only for himself and his faction… For indeed none can love freedom heartily but good men; the rest love not freedom but license, which never hath more scope or more indulgence than under tyrants. Hence is it that tyrants are not often offended, nor stand much in doubt of bad men, as being all naturally servile. But [those] in whom virtue and true worth most is eminent, them they fear in earnest, as by right their masters; against them lies all their hatred and suspicion. Consequently, neither do bad men hate tyrants, but have been always readiest with the falsified names of ‘loyalty’ and ‘obedience’ to color over their base compliances.”
From “The Tenure of Kings and Magistrates” (1649)
Not freedom but license. An important distinction.
This answers my questions on the likelihood of any early removal of the president (interview with a law professor):
https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1841369667942
If you don’t have the time to watch it through, basically two weeks is not enough time to push through articles of impeachment, and he can’t imagine Pence ever invoking the 25th. I’ll be curious, nonetheless, about what happens to Trump after the presidency…
I think he will resign and be pardoned fully by Pence. Or, and this is an oddity, he could theoretically just pardon himself.
However, that only absolves him of Federal crimes. He is going to be prosecuted by New York State for a variety of felonies. He will almost certainly be convicted and sent to jail. My guess is that he will flee the country at that point. If not sooner.
Interesting…
At this point, after all the uncomplimentary things Trump said about Pence recently, I’m not so sure he’d agree to pardon him.
Totally agree the NY State folks are going to continue going after him no matter what.
“The rest love not freedom but license”
Yes
Poweful peice Tim and hope this mess is sorted sooner than later.Thoughts and prayers with the good citizens of The USA. re meditation i might be able to help a little bit. I have been practising a form of meditation since 2000. (Sahaja Yoga) all you do is find a quiet place in a quiet moment, sit silently and become a detached witness to the drama of the play. It’s not easy initially because thoughts keep popping up in your head. As they do simply say to yourself mentally not this thought and it eventually dissipates. Trust me it works. But does take work. 2ndly when you feel your thoughts running around your mind simply say to yourself ” what time is it?” The time is now. “Where am I?” I am here bcos thats all we’ve really got..the here and now. Regards
Great post, Tim, really. Some lovely turns of phrase. I liked “ elected officials using social media as “superspreader sites” for verifiable lies”.
One could easily argue that “the greatest nation on the face of the earth”, as too many flag-waving chest-thumpers call it, is actually a Failed State, like Pakistan perhaps. My Indian friends remind me of the old canard that many countries have armies, but in the case of Pakistan, it is the army that has a country. And extending the metaphor, all countries have con artists but America is one of the few rich nations where a con artist has had the country for the last 4-5 years.
Sad! A Disaster! Yet, I believe this too will pass. My brother and I here in Toronto, have made a point of keeping in touch with our first cousins, also brothers, one in Sacramento and the other in Bergen County, Northern NJ. They don’t recognize the America they’ve lived in for the last 30 years any more than I recognize it, growing up next door. But we all believe that there are better angels waiting to be heard and followed.
Several good suggestions here. You can pick and choose:
https://medium.com/the-ascent/20-realistic-micro-habits-to-live-better-every-day-df1731a2cd41
1Nil,
Every one of your comments gets put into my spam filter and I have no idea why. I’m not blocking you or your comments but for some reason my new site settings don’t like your comments at all. I’m keeping an eye on it though. Just know that I will try to post your comments when I remember to check my filter
I am to spam what Gibson guitars are to Marshall amps. I have no idea what I mean by that but thanks for lookin’ out.
I labeled it “White Privilege”, but I was wrong.
“People say that the fact Republicans so easily took over the Capitol building is an example of white privilege. This wasn’t white privilege, this was white power. And they planted the symbols of white power on the floor of the House and Senate: Confederate battle flags, Nazi tee shirts, and Trump flags.”
You, sir, are most definitely correct.
I am still fuming. I might give Atom a try…Headspace ain’t done shite for my constitution lately.
“People say that the fact Republicans so easily took over the Capitol building is an example of white privilege. This wasn’t white privilege, this was white power. And they planted the symbols of white power on the floor of the House and Senate: Confederate battle flags, Nazi tee shirts, and Trump flags.“
I think it was both actually but even more so it was about Trump power.
Who amongst those marching on Capitol didn’t think Trump would’ve had their back if need be, especially when it was he who told them to do it to begin with.
I called Trump a domestic terrorist way before anyone else did and people thought I was joking.
It doesn’t help when Biden comes out with the energy of a 10 Watt lightbulb to basically say ‘Ah come on now folks, this isn’t us.’
The guy is woefully unequipped to deal with the moment and you just know as soon as he takes office he’s going to be talking about not looking back and just looking forward, which means the wounds just fester.
I was working mostly on my own today. In a warehouse that stores and delivers food parcels to the underprivileged, the homeless, or to transition houses for people who’ve escaped abusive relationships. The organisation is called The Simon Community and they’re amazing.
During the day I saw a butterfly on the floor. It wasn’t moving and looked like it might be in bad shape. It didn’t look dead so I left it alone and went about my business.
Later on I was mopping the floor and I was horrified to discover I’d absentmindedly mopped the butterfly from it’s corner into the centre of the warehouse floor. I felt so bad. It looked even worse than before. One wing was flapping a bit but it looked like all it’s legs were stuck together and one leg looked like it might be broken.
I tried to gently interact with it to see if it might be alright but it didn’t look good. I got a sheet of paper in the office and slid it under the butterfly so I could take it off the wet ground. I put it on a pallet of teabags and left it for a few minutes to see if the dry conditions might help.
When I came back it was still there, not really moving. I felt so bad and thought that maybe the best thing I could do was to quickly kill it. I didn’t want to but the thought of it just dying these, incapacitated and broken and unable to fly made me think it might be for the best.
Before I did I wanted to do the best I could to give it a chance so I encouraged it on to my finger and it seemed to have a bit of fight in it still. That was encouraging. So I brought it to the bathroom and held it away from the handdryer where a little of the warm air could reach it. I was holding it by my chest so it wouldn’t fall and it started to slowly climb onto the front of my top. I was happy the he or she was moving.
I some work to do so I brought it into the office and placed it on a sheet of paper on the floor. Then I placed a fan heater on the floora bit away and turned it on so a little of the heat could reach it. I figured it had enough movement now to move closer or farther from the air if it wanted. Then I went back to the warehouse to work.
When I came back the butterfly was gone.
I got down on my hands and knees and checked under the desks. I couldn’t see it anywhere and a part of me didn’t want to find that butterfly. The idea that it was up and about somewhere, maybe resting and getting a bit more strength back was a powerful one. I wanted to believe it (and I still do) hours later now I’m back at home.
If that butterfly can make it maybe we can too.
I think that’s a little harsh on Biden. He seemed pretty impassioned when he talked about the different response to the BLM march.
Biden will never satisfy some on the left, in part because inflammatory, reactionary rhetoric (or, what would sound inflammatory to the right or centrists, I suppose) isn’t really his thing. And think about that for a second. We’ve had four years of 100 Watt rhetoric from the president, and look how that’s worked out. I for one welcome his decent and largely measured rhetoric. It won’t be sexy, it will be boring at times, but honestly, I think that’s right. We’ve learned what people can do when a politician’s rhetoric isn’t careful.
Enjoyed your butterfly story, though!
Maybe it is too harsh, I don’t know.
I do like the general tone of decency but the guy’s decency and de escalation above everything can’t cater to every moment right?
He talks about how he’ll never embarrass republicans while they refuse to even acknowledge his election win and call it a steal. They were doing everything they could to steal the election from him and he’s talking about how everyone can get along.
At some point these appeals to decency from the right just come off as naive and feckless sometimes.
Like you know he’s not going to have any interest in holding any republicans to account for what they did after he’s elected because he’s going to be too busy reaching across the aisle and making concessions to them instead to prove they can trust him.
And it’s not just that. Look at the difference in tone and language when he talks about socialists and republicans. The boxing metaphors come out when it comes to talking about how he beats socialists but it’s never that kind of language for republicans.
I do agree with you though that decency is better. I’m not one of those republicans and democrats are the same people.
He’s way better and more preferable to Trump.
I just think Biden is a politician from a different time who’s woefully unequipped to deal with the scale of the issues facing us generally or the rise of white supremacy in America specifically. He’s going to be too busy tiptoeing around issues to actually solve them because I think the guy is just another out of touch corporate Dem.
But I’m glad it’s going to be him not Trump and I really hope he proves me wrong.
And after 4 years of Trump I completely understand and sympathize that lots of people want exactly what Biden represents, a kind of normal ‘regular’ president that’s not going to be pushing to do anything too radical or divisive.
I’m not here to fight with fellow lefties or progressives who crave a little decency in their president after so long.
Oh no, my comment went to the sin bin…my guess is because it used the word “s*xy”! Lol.
fixed it.
the new spm filter is weirdly aggressive.
Jeremy
What would you have Biden do instead?
I don’t know, saying that he’ll do everything he can to make sure that Trump, and all the rest of the politicians who openly encouraged this violent attack on democracy, will be held to account would let people know he takes the threat of this anti democracy/white supremacy movement seriously.
But he’d never do that because upsetting republicans isn’t his deal.
Look, I concede that maybe a lot of people really liked his speech and thought it met the moment.
What can I say, I didn’t.
Dude, you’re so 20th century! Don’t you know that with energy-saving lighting technology, today’s 10-watt bulb is yesterday’s 1000 watt Super Trouper? Agreed that Biden ‘ain’t no chew up the scenery in his heydey Marlon Brandon (“STELLA!?”) but I like him. What can I say?
He’s not the literal worst 🙂
What a phenomenally well written and damning indictment of the events of this week. Stay well & keep breathing, Tim!
This post is really heartfelt.
On the mental health side, it sounds like you’re doing all the right things. At times like this it’s easy to feel overwhelmed – and in a way, it’s the correct, healthy response to important, chaotic and scary developments that are out of your control.
I’ve lived and worked in and around war zones for 13 years, trying to do my part to help people through the chaos and turmoil. It’s hard, and in the end I got burned out from the sheer scale of the problems that we were trying to mitigate, and the inability to meet the life-critical needs of the people I was trying to support.
I felt totally overwhelmed.
Living in a war zone is actually very similar to the kind of situation we are living through now, with the combined pandemic and political instability. Your day-to-day life is generally mundane and normal, but you know that the world is unpredictable, dangerous and fearful, and every now and again that world will intrude into your life. As a result you are always on edge, always tense. And because everything is out of your control, you get to feel powerless, small and stuck in a holding pattern, unable to move forwards, under the clampdown.
The only bit of practical advice I can offer is to unplug from the news feed from time to time. US news media in particular has a hysterical tone: everything is unprecedented, everything is catastrophised, everything is a crisis, and everything is 24/7.
If it helps to give a bit of perspective, there is nothing really new in what’s happening at the moment. White power politics and conspiracy-led politics have been around in the US for at least 150 years. They are usually just an undertone, but they erupt every now and again. The Paranoid Style In American Politics by Richard Hofstadter is a famous essay from the 60s that explores it (although it gets some basic facts about the both sides-ism wrong). There is every chance that US politics will pull back from this particular cliff-edge, now that everybody has seen the consequences of pandering to the far right.
SLC. I hope you’re right, but Pence’s hesitation to consider the 25th leaves me to believe he’d pardon the SOB. Pence still has eyes on 2024 and is doing everything in his power to not alienate the fascist wing of the republican base.
I believe Biden will leave this in the hands of Garland once he’s confirmed. He has to restore the integrity of the DOJ and will go out of his way to give Garland complete autonomy. My fear is that he overcorrects and instructs Garland to not pursue indictments even if the evidence points in that direction.
Bun, point well taken about the timing of impeachment but an impeachment vote will put scumbags like Hawley, Cruz, Mo Brooks, et al. on record as supporting a fascist autocrat.
Hey Tim, thanks for the tip on Atom. I was just thinking about mindfulness the other day and wondering how I could find a good app to assist in my efforts.
Thanks also for your continued musings, I really appreciate you putting yourself out there
One last thing. I seem to be unable to reply directly to a comment. Any advice. Probably just operator error.
Thanks for letting me know about the messed up reply function. I was trying to fix the weird spam filter problems and accidentally broke the reply settings.
SIGH!
Congressional Republicans held 33 hearings on Benghazi, where four Americans had died in what was for all intents and purposes a war torn country ruled by mostly the US hostile militias.
Considering five Americans have died as a result of a domestic terror attack on the nation’s legislative branch, we should expect at least the same number of hearings demanded by the Republican patriots in Congress.
Thanks!
I can’t help but understand your state of agony as a citizen of the most powerful country in the planet. If there’s anything I could do to help you Tim I would without a second thought, so get on that plane and come over to Kenya (we have direct flights from NY to Nairobi) and I’ll host both you and Avie until you feel it’s safe to return to the USA. You will have plenty of roasted meat here in kajiado county, Maasai land.