I tried to make the famous Breton desert Kouign-Amann last night and here I am this morning, looking at this lump of pastry dough with chunks of butter sticking out of it and feeling a profound sense of failure. Do you remember the old Eddie Murphy skit where his mom makes him a homemade McDonalds and he describes how it’s shaped like a meatball and has onions sticking out of it? That’s what this dough looks like. An Eddie Murphy burger.
I know what I did wrong. This is a yeasted pastry dough, like a croissant, and I basically let the yeasted dough part get too hot – by setting it on the warmest part of the stove – and when I tried to roll it out and put the butter pat in there, well, it sort of all started falling apart. At that point, I should have just started over but like all of the people who fail on the GBBO, I thought “I can save this.”
That sentiment “I can save this” was a common theme when I played golf. I would tee up, slice one into the woods, and because I have such a tremendous short game (that’s what she said!) I would think “I can just hit a knock-down, 80 yards, straight back onto the fairway, then a nice layup and par.” Of course, I would get out my trusty two iron and immediately SHANK the ball into the tree, sending me even deeper into the woods.
Back then I could blame the drink. One time I started drinking early in the match. By the time I got to the 12th hole I was so drunk that I was spraying golf balls all over the place, like Granit Xhaka. But I’d had a brief spell where I got out of trouble once, or twice, and saved bogey. Well, up stepped the par five. Timmy sliced one into the trees, it hit a tree and landed in the tall grass. I then reckoned I could hit some kind of EA Sports Tiger Woods 9 iron 100 yards, over a 50 yard tall fir tree.
Breaking news: I couldn’t.
The tall grass grabbed the club, the hosel hit the ball, the ball kind of flew out, curled, and it hit the tree square in the trunk and came back to me. Now, go ahead and imagine a montage of me swinging at the ball and it doing everything wrong. That’s what happened.
When I finally got the ball onto the fairway, I went over to the tree and attacked it with my 9 iron. I broke the club head off on the first blow – a light ping sound and down the fairway it went. Past my ball. I have to say that was hilarious and deeply unsatisfying. I really wanted that heft to be on the end of the club as I took my frustrations out on the tree.
Ok, now I’m on the fairway. This par five (I think I’m up to my 8th shot already or something) has a water feature right in front. I decide to execute some good judgement and layup. No problem. And chip over. No problem. On the green I three putt. But at that point, I actually didn’t care anymore. It was a tough green.
Sometimes you just have to say “fuck it” and start over. I should have done that last night with the pastry dough. I think if I had more experience with yeasted pastry dough I would have known that it wasn’t going to work. But I also thought I was under a time crunch, which I’m not.
Anyway, I’m currently rolling it out more, trying in vain to get the butter to become one with the dough. Meh, whatever. It’s butter, it’s sugar, it’s going to taste good.
I watched Unai Emery’s press conference yesterday and one segment is making the rounds this morning because it’s so perplexing. In it, Unai urges fans to “remember” how when he arrived the team needed to be “more competitive”, how we had the creativity right back then, but not the competitiveness. And he then goes on to claim that he’s improved Arsenal’s competitiveness.
When I read the quotes my first thought was that he was repeating his well worn schtick about how he’s improved the defense at the expense of the offense. He says some similar things, that when he arrived, the creativity was fine but we needed to improve competitiveness.
Besides the fact that this is a swipe at Arsene Wenger even if we accept the critique, which is probably fair, this thing he says about making Arsenal more solid while sacrificing offense is patently not true. We are literally in exactly the same place this year as we were last year in terms of goals allowed and big chances allowed – and we are significantly worse off in terms of shots allowed. All of that has happened while shots have gone down. He is correct to say that we have sacrificed offense, but incorrect to say that we are more defensively solid.
But there is perhaps something more to what he was saying. At one point he repeats the claim that we are more competitive but then, in an almost inaudible whisper, he says “spirit”. I had to listen to the video half a dozen times to catch it, but he does say spirit.
Was he clarifying? If so, this is a swipe at Wenger. It’s one of those well-worn Wenger-truths that Arsenal was a creche under his management. Maybe what Emery’s claiming to have improved is the competitive spirit at Arsenal, in the training sessions?
In that case, I have to agree with him. I mean, I can’t dispute him. I don’t have any evidence to suggest that the team aren’t working hard in training. Even the club management say that they are all working hard in training (except Ozil) and that Unai’s main selection process is by how hard players work in training (which is why Ozil doesn’t play).
He then goes on to point to the Europa League teams and the results there to describe how he wants Arsenal to play football. That somehow creativity is unleashed while defense remains solid.
It is true that Arsenal’s Premier League and Europa League campaigns are like oil and water, salad and cinnabon. But what remains a mystery is why. Is it the level of competition? Teams in Europe do seem to be playing Arsenal in a wholly different way than teams in England. Does that account for the disparity? Which one is the real Arsenal?
| (Per game) | Premier League | Europa League |
| Shots | 13 | 21 |
| Goals | 1.4 | 3.5 |
| Dribbles | 13.3 | 14 |
| Shots allowed | 16 | 18.5 |
| Tackles | 16.2 | 15 |
| INT | 8.1 | 10.5 |
I think the real Arsenal is out there in the Europa League. It’s the Arsenal that is leading the EL in shots per game but also 4th in shots allowed. It’s the Arsenal that still not anywhere near a proactive defensive team and instead just lets teams run all over them.
And yet Emery insists we are a good defensive team.
The one thing I know for certain is that few people outside us stats folks would even be vaguely alarmed about the fact that Arsenal allow over 15 shots a game if he could get Arsenal to take 21 shots per game in the Premier League. And actually I think that’s his real subtext to this interview. I think he knows that we would just accept the really awful defending, the dreadful control of football games, in exchange for something a little bit more attacking, more fun to watch.
And it’s true. I just don’t think he can get us out of this rough.
Great post Tim
Emery is delusional if he really thinks our defense has improved. That lack of defensive improvement is by far the biggest surprise and biggest disappointment of his tenure.
Why is the lack of defensive improvement a surprise? Emery wasn’t known for being a manager who organises defences so why the surprise?
I had low expectations of Emery but even this mess he is serving up is just baffling to me. He is doing worse that Wenger when we thought we couldnt get any worse.
You can have the best system in the world, if you are rely on David Luiz at and Sokratis to be your starting CB’s. The system will ALWAYS fail.
David Luiz Honours
Club
Benfica
Primeira Liga: 2009–10
Taça da Liga: 2008–09, 2009–10, 2010–11
Chelsea
Premier League: 2016–17
FA Cup: 2011–12, 2017–18
UEFA Champions League: 2011–12
UEFA Europa League: 2012–13, 2018–19
EFL Cup runner-up: 2018–19
Paris Saint-Germain
Ligue 1: 2014–15, 2015–16
Coupe de France: 2014–15, 2015–16
Coupe de la Ligue: 2015–16
Trophée des Champions: 2015, 2016
International
Brazil
FIFA Confederations Cup: 2013
I keep seeing comments from people who seem to think this squad is packed with talent. However, if you examine the squad I doubt there is not a single player who isn’t named Auba or possibly Laca who would be part of the regular 11 on any of the worlds big teams. Guendouzi is an energy player who would probably be in the match day squad for a lot of teams but after I doubt any of the others would regularly make the top 18 of in the any of the worlds top 12-15 teams. After Auba and Laca there is not a single player on the team who is a good enough at scoring to be considered legitimate threat to score a goal in a PL game. I doubt that there is any manager in the world who could take this group and turn them into an attractive free flowing attacking team on a regular basis.
There are few teams in world football with a world class 1st team from 1 to 11.
Our forwards are decent (Auba, Laca, Pepe and Ozil), our team would have been better where it not for the bad defensive signings the last few seasons (Luiz, Sok and Torreira are rubbish).
To say there us no manager that could improve us is just plain wrong.
The team is packed with talent. We aren’t Burnley. This “who would get into Y team” is not really a conversation: Arsenal are never going to buy Galacticos. Even Wenger’s 01-05 squad weren’t worldies when we bought them. The only real option for Arsenal is to get a coach in who MAKES the players world class. This coach isn’t doing that.
You will pass away from old age before Arsenal buy 11 world class, pre-made, straight out the box great players who will make the coach look good. Sorry, the Arsenal coach has to make the players better, not the other way round.
you’re exaggerating, dude. while it’s hard to speak on the young guys, ceballos and mesut were regulars at real madrid. sokratis was a regular at dortmund. luiz was a regular at chelsea. arsenal hijacked the granit xhaka move to fc bayern and pepe move to liverpool. this is not to mention how good the likes of hector, tierney, holding, and possibly leno are going to be. a proper coach could make something of this team, yet this guy has the audacity to try and shade wenger? nuts! he’s trying to suggest that arsenal are better off than they were before he got to the club. nuts!
Bill, there IS a lot of talent in this team. Perhaps where we fall short, in some areas, is experience or specifically, premier league experience. Guendouzi, Willock, Tierney, Holding, Pepe, Saka, Martinelli are all good examples .
Managers like Klopp or Pep would undoubtedly get these guys to play with more style and purpose. Maybe the inexperience of some of our young players will mean we make mistakes on the field but I think you will have a tough time convincing people that the football won’t be better regardless of who the manager is.
The obvious difference between our EL and EPL games is one player. Xhaka.
Dude, I can drink and I can golf but it would be impossible for me to do both at the same time. How did you ever manage it?
I don’t know if it’s the “real Arsenal” in Europa League but I do know those lads are way more fun to watch them instead of what’s passing for the senior “team” right now. For one thing those kids are actually playing like a team, clearly enjoying being with each other and being out on the pitch together. They manage to play with cohesion, enthusiasm and and attacking flair that reminds of a young Wenger and his sides circa early 2000s. Not so much with their genuine but still undeveloped talent but with their eagerness to go out and make something, get a result.
In the Emery Upside Down the Europa, not the Premier League is the one to watch!
I had a system. At the time I only drank beer (wasn’t into whiskey yet). I would drink one beer every three holes. I would also smoke one cigarette every three holes. It’s only 6 beers. On that day I wrapped my club around a tree I must have been feeling ornery. I think I had some beers and shots. Sometimes my drinking buddy and I would get really loaded early on.
Also, I would like to point out that I very clearly could NOT golf and drink. LOL.
“Sometimes you just have to say “fuck it” and start over.”
you hit the nail on the head, tim. that’s what you needed to do with your recipe and that’s what arsenal needs to do with this coach.
Yeah, sadly, the dough has almost zero lamination. It still tastes good because it’s 250g of butter to 300g of flour with 150g of sugar on top.
yeah, i reposted …guess it got stuck in moderation, although it’s a direct quote.
on october 24, imothyt said in his post titled “emery goes on the attack”…
“Sometimes you just have to say “fu¢k it” and start over.”
that’s what arsenal need to do with this coach.
the kids still play proper arsenal football where the first team plays emeryball; emery hasn’t contaminated them yet.
emery seems to have ideas but doesn’t know how to make them happen on the field. ironically, this is exactly what a manager is supposed to do; use the resources available to make an idea reality. none of his strategic approaches make arsenal better than the team he took over after wenger’s worst year at the club.
Is the high volume of shots allowed a fair measure of our defense? Aren’t the vast majority of those shots outside the box or otherwise low xG?
Yes, there are a high number of low xG shots and also the exact same number of big chances as under Wenger. Also, you don’t want to allow teams to have hundreds of shots even if they are low percentage because those shots will score goals.
Basically it just shows how we are sitting in the low block and letting teams come all over us.
Wenger discouraged long range shots, I believe because he felt the very low chance of scoring was not worth the potential counterattack that might result from a bad rebound. Might Emery be inviting long range shots for that reason?
THAT’S what she said!
Clarification:
“Basically it just shows how we are sitting in the low block and letting teams come all over us.”
THAT’s what she said!
here’s a thought. i was watching a video of football during wenger’s last season and something is very clear. emery doesn’t seem to know what to do with attacking midfielders. think of the attacking players that were here when he got here that played center midfield. santi, released. ramsey, released. iwobi, sold. mesut, frozen out. mkhi, on loan.
without help from midfield, it’s simply too difficult to create chances; it’s especially difficult to create chances we’re used to seeing arsenal create. there were tons of 1-2s between center mids and strikers. we don’t see any of that. it’s because emery doesn’t seem to appreciate how midfielders can run ahead of strikers sometimes. remember ramsey’s champions league goal where he backheeled the ball over the goal keeper’s head? how about the run he made against man united where he stayed onsides and laid the ball off to lacazette who was behind him? how about the goal of the season wilshere scored against norwich?
arsenal need midfielders that know how to attack. it lowers the load on the strikers. it forces teams to back off of you. it’s football that’s hard for teams to defend. we don’t see any of that from arsenal anymore and that’s a shame.
granit xhaka might get a couple of goals. ceballos might get a couple. torreira might get a couple, willock might get one. it’s simply not enough. the central defenders might score more from set plays than the arsenal midfield is likely to score.
Goals from midfield is an absolute essential part of any set-up. We already have a Ramsey replacement in Willock but he needs to replace Xhaka centrally and play with Guendouzi or Torreira (though we need an upgrade here as well) instead of whatever Emery is trying to do with him.
We could really use a good central attacking mid-fielder as well (Ceballos could be that guy but I don’t like counting players on loan). I see ESR as someone who can fill that role but he’s one for the future rather than someone who can help us fill that void for the next 3 -4 years.
pepè! wow!!!
arsenal did not deserve to win that game.
great substitution but, once again, arsenal win because of the individual brilliance of a player, not because of good football.
i mentioned it a few threads back, but do you guys see what i mean about the central defenders dropping off when arsenal lose the ball, for no good reason? doing that makes the field so big. opposition counters always look dangerous. it makes things easier for the central defenders but incredibly difficult for the rest of the team and very dangerous on the counter.
“…arsenal win because of the individual brilliance of a player, not because of good football.”
Yeah, about that. How many games has Barca won because of the individual brilliance of Leo Messi? Doesn’t mean they played bad football.
But I get what you mean, though.
We didn’t play great football tonight. But it wasn’t bad either. The goals we conceded and the way and manner we conceded made the game look bad than it really was. It’s really nothing new with us. We’ve conceded such goals in games we were controlling in the recent past.
I think I saw in this game more risk-taking than we’ve usually come to expect from this team.
Pepe has arrived. I hope Emery offers to do his laundry for him this weekend.
…lastly, anyone else still desperate to see joe willock at cdm? imagine if that were a premier league game.
it’s not his fault. it’s such a tough position, especially for such a young guy. the defense continually dropping off, creating an unreasonable gap between defense and midfield didn’t help but…….it’s too tough to throw a young guy into that position. the only way you can know if he can do it is to give him the chance.
like i said for the past few seasons, arsenal need to buy to replace xhaka. there’s no one else in the side that can do that position. i name dropped wilfried n’didi, abdoulaye dacoure, and leandro paredes. dacoure put on a show against scum on saturday so he’s my first option. we’ll see.
Some good observations Joshuad. I would only add that what was supposed to be a relaxing evening of watching the kids put a relatively obscure Portuguese side – no disrespect, they showed up and played their socks off – instead was a mostly frustrating exercise in wanting to throw my TV out the window. Thank you Pepe for saving an embarrassed phone call to my insurance company.
Tim
I did not say we were Burnley or Southampton but I hope those are not the teams we compare ourselves with. I thought the objective was to be competing with the better teams in the PL and with the top 15 teams in the world. We just don’t have the talent in this squad to do that which is why we struggle to compete for 4th place. We have a few players who used to be good such as Luiz, Ozil and Sokaritis and we have a few with potential to be good in the future but as of Oct 24 2019 I don’t think any of our regular PL starting 11 not named Auba or perhaps Laca would have a chance to play regular minutes on the top 15 teams in Europe. Past reputation and the dream of future potential does not mean much in terms of current production.
This is a bit of a circular argument though…people are complaining because the team isn’t playing well, so obviously none of the players are going to make it to anyone’s team of the week….
I think Guendouzi would make the bench on most top teams and he certainly has potential as an energy player but he has 0 league goals and only 1 league assist in his Arsenal career and he has demonstrated any end product so far.. Very few big teams would have a u21 player with no end product as a regular starter in their midfield. Hopefully Pepe will justify his has potential but so far outside of today he has not shown us anything. Ceballos might be good someday but if he is really that good then Madrid will probably not sell him. Bellerin is not a great defensive players but he has shown some potential on the attacking end of the pitch if he comes back well from his injury. We can hope Tierney is good and Martinelli has looked good in the Europa league games. We have some players with potential but that does not really help us right now other then giving us something to talk about
I agree that sitting in 5th place is underperforming so far this season given how bad ManU and Spurs have been. However, I think we are close to where we would expect based on the talent in this squad. We are better then about 70% of the league and probably one of the favorites to finish in 4th. We can expect to make a reasonably deep run in the Europa league and hopefully have a good run in the FA cup or league cup competitions.
I don’t think we really can agree on what we want as a fanbase other than simple things like play better and win more. Unai is going to take the stuffing no matter what he does if his team loses, just as Arsene did. It’s the lot of a manager!
As to this game, it’s not hard to figure out what’s going on. Opponents know Arsenal wants to exploit transitions and the flanks, so they try to deny the space and don’t allow the outlet passes we want. Any strategy has an effective counter strategy.
“It’s not hard to figure out what’s going on”…so why doesn’t our coach apply some relatively simple tactical adjustments to put these games away early and often?
How can we be so out of sorts? Because the gaffer is on evidence, completely clueless to how to get XI players on a pitch playing together with discipline and confidence.
Simple problems can have complicated solutions. If only this football thing were easy! I don’t envy Emery. I doubt there are any easy fixes for Arsenal’s problems. The clearest source of improvement for this team as it is currently assembled might be the return of fullbacks who can be trusted in possession to advance the ball and To bring some creativity in the final third. Chambers and Kolasinac have battled manfully and Raised their games, but for a team as focused on attacking the flanks as we are, there just isn’t enough quality there. The lack of chemistry between all these new players in attacking areas hasn’t helped, nor has the absence of glue guy Lacazette. When it all comes together, usually against lesser opponents when the pressure is off, Emery’s football is both effective and easy on the eye. Rolling over well drilled, focused and highly motivated opponents in the PL is not easy for anyone, even for Guardiola or CL winners Liverpool. I think Arsenal are doing all right in the grand scheme. Panicking and starting a revolving door at the coaching level will only introduce more uncertainty and lessen what little cohesion has been built to now.
“I don’t think we really can agree on what we want as a fanbase other than simple things like play better and win more. Unai is going to take the stuffing no matter what he does if his team loses, just as Arsene did. It’s the lot of a manager!”
+1 upvote for this.
I think completely clueless in getting his team to do whatever he wants them to do sounds about right. Its a season and a half and we should not be having this discussion. It would almost be better if he insisted on playing a dour defensive style football that was effective. Okay, no…it would not be better. I’m sorry I said that Arsene
Weird game. Pepe saved us. I felt he would score from both the free kicks he did. Strange how that sometimes happens.
Why did Emery not celebrate Pepe’s goals? Was he sulking at the home fans singing Mesut Ozil’s song? This standoff cannot continue. It’s causing too much distraction, and playing this sort of football does nothing to help.
But in Emeryland we deserved to win the game. Did we get more corners again?
Something’s up there that goes beyond football, and the fans know it. They’re not stupid. So, as reported by Tim above, he picks his squads on training enthusiasm…
TRAINING
enthusiasm
Right.
I dunno. Even if you buy that, you should be able to manage a squad without ritual humiliation of a senior player. That 6 matchday squads in a row that our No. 10 was omitted from. But, you know how the defence goes… he’s badly faded, and nothing to see here 🙄Thank goodness the fans have their thinking caps on.
Glad for Pepe. Said before the game that he should have started. He needed just this outcome. Hope he kicks on.
Can Tierney stand up a cross or what? He’s ready to start in the league.
And Shard, I was right that Martinelli > Nketiah, wasn’t I?
Haha. Yeah you were. I still think Eddie has a future with us though. Or should anyway.
As much as the appointment and current tenure of Emery has caused controversy l think its about time we ask ourselves if the Arsenal job is still attractive to top managers. If not Emery who were our alternatives? If we pull the plug on him who would want to join? Considering our transfer budgets and the current squad vs our top rivals who would risk to take the job except for rookies or managers on their way down. Management in England can either make you or simply break you eg Mourinho, Moyes, Van Gaal after managing United are struggling to get top jobs Di Matteo Manuel Pelegrini the list is endless, so taking the Arsenal job in this environment is an insurmountable risk that might lead to managerial oblivion. I think this is the reason it will be difficult to get rid of Emery as most of the options available are either not good enough or straight risks( Freddie and Arteta).
before arsene left, there was only one manager he suggested would be ideal to replace him. when asked his suggestion about any other potential manager, wenger always took the high road and said he would not want to be involved at all concerning who replaced him. however, when asked about patrick vieira replacing him, wenger simply said yes.
my recommendation was patrick vieira/dennis bergkamp. those two gentlemen know what it means to play for arsenal and, in my opinion, they were the authors of wengerball.
first, bergkamp has always said he only wants to be an assistant coach and never a manager. besides that, dennis was a cruyff prodigy; nuff said.
second, vieira was captaining a ligue 1 team as a 17-year old. (imagine being a grown professional being captained by a kid younger than saka. how special was patrick vieira?) then, vieira became an ac milan prodigy, mentored by absolute legends like albertini, van basten, maldini, costacurta, boban, baresi, guillit, desailly, and donadoni schooling him every day in training.
arsene wenger drew wolves on boards. bergkamp set the standard in training and patrick vieira enforced that standard. we’ve heard tons of stories about the intensity of the arsenal training sessions. i remember moritz volz saying how he had to be at his absolute best everyday in training to look like he even belonged at arsenal.
vieira and bergkamp are the authors of wengerball. every championship wenger ever won in england featured those two players heavily. since they left, arsenal has failed to win the premier league. it has always made sense to bring them back.
Claude
I doubt the lack of enthusiasm during training session would matter if Ozil was still effective when he was on the pitch. Emery wants to win games and I suspect he would be willing to overlook lackadaisical training if there was some evidence to suggest having the player on the pitch improved the teams chances of winning games. However, if you were a manager why would you be inclined to use a player who was not mentally involved in what you are doing on the training pitch when he is no longer effective in the real games?
Ozil made it clear in the recent interview that he plans to stay in London so obviously he is not that unhappy with the current situation otherwise you would think he would welcome a transfer to a new team where he might be able to get some minutes. I am 100% certain the club would be overjoyed to find a new club for him but they can’t do anything if the player is not willing to move
Seems you missed Raul’s and Emery’s comments that players are picked from training output.so the assumption is that Ozil doesn’t train enough that’s all
I would hope that most fans want the manager to ignore reputations and weekly wages and questioning from the media when he puts together his match day squads.
No manager who wants to keep his job would drop a player who is earning about $20M/ year without the approval and agreement from upper management and club ownership. I assume Raul, Edu and Josh Kronke want to win also and they must agree with Emery’s decision.
Seems you missed Raul’s and Emery’s comments that players are picked from training output.so the assumption is that Ozil doesn’t train enough that’s all
Well said lads! There seem to be a dearth of a proper DM a typical #6 who breaks up play, is gifted with excellent vision and ability to read the game. A Vieira+ Carzola hybrid. If the midfielder did their jobs, then the defence would not be under pressure and the attack frustrated!