What if Arsenal selected the coach like the Great British Bake Off (or whatever they call it now for legal reasons) selects winners? Just have Paul Hollywood standing around, elbows akimbo like Henry the VIII, telling each potential manager – “ugg.. stodgy” or “shame, this has a soggy bottom”.
If I were to rate this Arsenal team as if I were Paul Hollywood:
First, we flip it over, it’s got a soggy bottom and there are holes in the crust and some of the filling has come out. Sorry, this crust isn’t anywhere nearly good enough. What you’ve done is let the butter melt through, making holes in the crust. You’ve got to keep the butter chilled in order to achieve good layers in the pastry. Also, I think you’ve overworked the dough? Wow.
The filling isn’t great, not enough spice, it’s also not baked all the way through and it’s stodgy, gummy actually. I do like the addition of the orange in here but the rest of it just doesn’t work. The candied yams just don’t work at this level. It’s appalling.
Up top it’s beautifully decorated. No question there. Lovely skill in the icing but I wish there were more of it. And it’s actually also underbaked again. But I can see what you’re going for here.
Overall, this is not even remotely good enough for a show stopper. Sorry. Decorations are nice, the top looks good but the rest of the pie is a disaster.
Anyway that’s all I have for today.
Oh, actually just noticed a weird phenomenon: Arsenal, Man U, and Tottenham are all tied in the Premier League table for shots taken per game, 13.
First team to move up to 15 shots per game will win the top four trophy!
Emery thinks he is better then his players. Unfortunately he has o strategy and cannot manage his best players look at PSG
He should be sacked if Arsenal want to get somewhere we need charisma and not a lot of talk without any football sense keep your supporters and get rid of Emery the only way for Arsenal
“Listen, strange men loiterin’ in showers distributin’ armbands is no basis for a system of managing a football team. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You don’t frighten us, Mr La Liga. Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called “Unai Rex,” you and all your silly Sevillan ideas.”
A pie with a top quality crust can carry the whole thing. Even if the filling is middling, a great crust can still make the dish. Arsenal needs to make the crust first and best.
I love meat pies. One thing (of many) I miss about living in the UK is the local pie shop. Do they ever make meat pies on the GBBO? I’m a savory guy more than a dessert guy, which probably explains why I haven’t started watching the show. Normally I’m a sucker for food / cooking shows.
Oh, and this wasn’t an extended metaphor about Arsenal, even though I would like Emery to stuff some meat into the midfield. Figuratively, you understand. At the moment, there’s too much potato in the Tourtiere. And I can’t understand why he isn’t serving us a steak and Tierney.
Hmm, I like it. I wonder, does this scenario make Pat Rice Arsenal’s Mary Berry?
Oh look! Look at Mesut not “training well!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQYyL0mCMXM
Ah well, nothing to see here. If he doesn’t even make the B team with half the first XIV rested, nothing to see here. Boss is always right, you know.
What could he be possibly saying to Emery? Any body language experts in the community?
Cant make too much of a 6 minute clip, but it all look so…. leisurely? What pie did they overdose on for lunch?
Hmmm. Looks like a disagreement, a difference of opinion, which Mesut wasn’t shy in articulating.Im going to make a wild guess (based admittedly on not a lot here) here and say that Ozil speaks his mind, and Emery doesn’t brook disagreement. The other players made a point of shaking his hand even though he was engaged with Mesut. But there’s definitely frost on the ground.
Body language experts? Hell yea.
Emery : Good ebening Mezut, are you ready to train hard?
Ozil : “Sorry, don’t understand a word you’re saying. Where’s Freddie?”
Emery: “ Freddie not here, he’s doing an underwear spot for Calvin
Klein.”
Ozil: “Still nothing, maybe we should try in Spanish.
Anyways, my lawyer tells me I have to be here if I want to keep collecting my 20mil, which is like 4 times more than what you make, right?”
OK then, good talk but I’ve got to go and kick a ball for awhile while my agent is recording.”
They are just going through warm ups. I dont think there are any conclusions to draw from this.
“First team to move up to 15 shots per game will win the top four trophy!”
Spurs, maybe? Consider that Kane alone is a high-volume shooter, and they have the likes of Moura and Son too. I hope it’s not them, of course, but if you boil it down to that metric it probably will be.
The Artist Formerly Known as Mesut is currently almost without a job. Why?
This is a dysfunctional club with a coach who is at best inscrutable, at worst a fraud but certainly unknowable because he can’t this project going and it’s been a year and a half.
Just think about our collection of talent for a moment. We have players many, many clubs would welcome with open arms and wallets and they are collectively a big pile of shite under Emery’s thumb.
I argued at the beginning of the season nthat he should be.given another year and yet again I judge myself to be wrong, so I’ll say it out loud:
EMERY OUT.
Nothing at Piebury Corner to be named after the first post-Wenger coach.
The Artist Formerly Known as Ozil, our highest paid player, barely has a job right now. How dysfunctional is that?
This Arsenal team is so bad, I’m rooting for Toronto FC in the MLS playoffs as a distraction and I f&$king hate MLS.
And hate is too strong a word, at least right now but I’m developing an intense dislike for Unai Emery and almost anyone Spanish, except Santi of course. He can never do wrong by me.
I thought it sensible to give another full season back in August but once again I judge myself to be wrong as so often am.
So I’ll say it out loud:
EMERY OUT.
We have a collection of expensive players that many teams would welcome with open arms and open wallets and they are collectively abysmal under this coach. We are 2nd bottom above Crystal Palace for fewest goals scored in the PL.
We are in 7th place in the league in goals scored right now.
On present form, Outside of Aubamayang and perhaps Lacazette there is not a single player on this roster who would be a regular top 11 player on almost any of the worlds other “big teams”
I agree 1niltotheArsenal. Almost everyone can see that this squad is underperforming given its quality. That rests solely on the manager as does the turgid football which is offensive in every way except the way it should actually be.
Have you seen what Emery said yesterday? It’s shocking:
https://arseblog.news/2019/10/emery-fans-need-to-remember-that-i-have-made-arsenal-more-competitive/
After reading this there is no way back. Classless. Is it bad to wish your team to bottle the next game in order to sack manager? I am not sure I will watch the next games though. It has been a custom for years, now I feel it is a painful waste of time. I want my classy Arsenal back.
I see all the Ozil fanboys are still at it.
I’m not a gamer, so have no idea what “Fortnite” is.
Here are some stats, for those of you who love that sort of thing, which is most of you.
According to the statistics portal “Wasted on Fortnite”, Ozil’s game account has played around 5221 matches at last count.
The average game of Fortnite takes roughly 20 minutes.
Based on those numbers, Ozil has racked up a total playing time of 104,420 minutes, equating to 1740 hours or 72 days.
So that’s why he’s got a bad back! Hunched over a computer screen day after day.
Nice to know the 350k we fork out each week is being used productively.
Belated happy birthday Tim. I am just catching up on you posts from the past week. You have been busy!
It’s getting tougher with each passing game to remain patient with Emery. I really wanted to wait until the season’s end to judge him but the football has become such dross that I am beginning to think fan pressure will get him fired in the next couple of months unless things change soon. During Wenger’s last two years in charge, I couldn’t stand the U shaped passing in front of the opposition 18 yard box. Now we are passing around in a U shape in our own half. Still, it’s not completely impossible that something will click offensively for the team. I remember Wenger unwilling to change more than 3 players over the summer because he thought it messes up the on-field team chemistry. Well we have had almost a complete squad overhaul in two seasons so maybe that’s a reason why we look so disjointed because even with Emery’s negative tactics we should play better than we have been.
I can just imagine the scene, can’t you?
Emery. “I’d like to work on the delivery at a few set pieces.”
Ozil. “Would love to boss, but I’ve got to get back as I need a highest score to get up to the next level. Can’t it wait?”
All the players you mentioned are actually good signings. Our failure was in not not doubling down and adding quality in defence to build a strong first 11.
Xhaka, Sok, Cech, Kola, Mustafi, Elneny, Luiz and Torreira have been the terrible buys which made our forward signings look pointless.