Author’s note: this article is completely serious. Any attempt to turn this into a light-hearted romp during the doldrums of International week will result in a lifetime ban from the comments section and on twitter.
Thanks,
-Tim
How do we rank the best goals in history? Most people just pick ones they like for the reasons that they like them but here at 7amkickoff (the Arsenal blog where we write about Arsenal) we strive for Objectivity. Yes, with a capital O. So, I put together some criteria for us to use to be Objective.
This isn’t about my feelings or your feelings. This are stats. Stats are always right. That’s why whatever goal you think is the best goal is not the best goal. The goal that scores highest on this Objective list of criteria is the best goal. It has to be, because of stats.
Here are the criteria:
Importance – Did the goal win the game? Was it away from home? Was it an away game against a top club? Was it an away game against a heated rival? Was it a goal that won a cup? Was it a goal that won the League title?
Pace, Power, Skill – Bergkamp’s goal against Argentina: a combination of control (long pass), trickery (switches play with one move), and shot placement (outside of the boot, across the keeper, top of the net). Maradona’s goal, dribbling through the entire English defense before scoring.
Defense – How much defense were the opponents offering? Again, Maradona’s goal: it’s not like the English didn’t try to defend him, he just beat them all.
Audacity – Henry’s backheel, Bergkamp’s flick at Newcastle, the Norwich goal. Those take some audacity to pull off. Tony Adams’ goal against Everton – Bouldy’s chip for Adams’ run!
Team play – One pass is nice, two passes is better, five passes in less than a second is best. Passes on the ground, in tight spaces, can be (but aren’t necessarily) better than long balls but the point is the quality of the team play leading up to the goal.
Luck – Luck plays a part in most goals. And the more luck the more memorable the goal. Charlie Adam’s long distance goal, Bent’s balloon goal against Liverpool, even Bergkamp’s goal against Newcastle or Wilshere’s goal against Norwich have an element of luck. The luckier, the WORSE the goal. This is the only category that can have negative numbers. For example, I’d give Crouch’s goal against Man City about a -9.
And here’s why Vieira’s goal against Tottenham is the best goal of all time:
Importance – 10 – Goal against rivals, on their ground, to win the League, in the unbeaten season.
Pace, Power, Skill – 9 – Henry collects the clearance, beats a man, dribbles up the pitch, Bergkamp makes a run, collects from Henry, sees that Vieira has made a lung-bursting run and lays the ball on a platter. Still, Vieira reaches out a long leg to finish in front of his defender.
Defense – 9 – Tottenham were trying like hell to get back but they didn’t cover themselves in glory.
Audacity – 6 – Arsenal didn’t really commit that many players forward and it’s not like he tried something unique like an overhead kick. Plus, he was Arsenal’s box-to-box midfielder.
Team play – 9 – The combination of three of Arsenal’s greatest players, one getting the ball out of defense, the other beating a man down the wing and laying on an incredible pass that beats two defenders, and the third
Luck – 8 – There’s only a little luck here. Bergkamp’s pass is perfect, Vieira lunges and makes contact with the cross. Any contact and that ball is going in. So, the luck is in the final touch but everything leading up to it is pure skill, heart, power, team play, and audacity.
Total: 51/60
Can you think of a better goal? I doubt it, because this is the best goal of all time. I have just proven it. Thanks.
Michael Thomas ‘89 a close second then?
Probably a bigger goal in terms of importance but you have to discount the goal because is twas just a lump up, and a hopeful chip over. Plus Thomas got a really lucky bounce on his control (I don’t know who it went off).
“A good ball from Dixon finding Smith, Thomas charging through the midfield….”
Important? Yes.
Jolly exciting? Rather.
Beautifully etched in Football (Arsenal) history? Utterly.
But yes, no where near as beautiful to witness as an Arsène Arsenal crescendo
Not the most important but one of the most enjoyable – Adebayor’s equaliser against Liverpool in the CL 1/4 finals (or semis?) in ’08.
Walcott runs the length of the pitch after a Liverpool attack breaks down on the edge of our area, evading 3 or 4 challenges, burning off defenders with pace, strength and skill, before crossing superbly to lay it on a sixpence for Adebayor.
It was towards the end of the match and kept us in the game but we gave away a penalty almost immediately after and lost.
Same old same old, but the goal was breathtaking in its speed and execution and, for all of the 90 seconds till we conceded the penalty, made us think we were bound to go on a win the game.
Henry against Real Madrid in ’06 for me. Doesn’t score that high on the aesthetic qualities and that Madrid team was over the hill, but that was magnificent. And that Arshavin goal against Blackburn where he skids along the sideline and blasts it high above Paul Robinson into the short corner.
I also don’t rate much the Xhaka type of goal where a footballer sees a defender slightly away and decides to kick the ball as strong as he can. It does contain certain technique but still I hate it when people are in awe by those in the same way I don’t rate slam dunks as much.
Still, from the top of my head:
– The penalty (not a great start, I know) against Stoke in the game where Shawcross shawcrossed Ramsey’s leg. I honestly had tears in my eyes when Cesc buried the pen and that mountain of a man called Sol hugged him screaming in front of the away fans, as if winning that game meant that they broke the hoodoo of the Eduardo incident. Alas, it wasn’t meant to last.
– Ramsey’s first winner in the FA Cup. It had all the parameters
– Giroud’s scorpion kick
– Sagna’s strong bullet header that started the comeback against Spurs
– Mertesacker’s slow looping header that started the comeback against Spurs
– The Lob of Pires for the hat trick
– Dennis Bergkamp’s goal(s)
Of course, judging Arsenal goals on importance in the context of a season fades quickly when you put it in a wider context of the last 14 years. Apart from the FA Cups, you could argue that in the end almost none of them bear no deeper significance in the bigger picture apart from three points perhaps.
That is also why I can’t ever see a replay of Welbeck’s goal against Leicester. I was screaming in front of the TV in front of a very large group of family and friends and when I remember what happened next I feel disappointed and slightly angry by the fact how meaningless it turned out to be, even though it looked like it could be the most important Arsenal goal of the last decade and more.
Therefore, I concur with Tim, Vieira’s goal was the greatest.
Thank you for your time.
That FA Cup winner from Ramsey might even be better let’s see…
Importance: 9 – First trophy since 1927 for Arsenal, but still not quite winning the League
PPS: 9 – Outside of the boot by Ramsey? ARE YOU KIDDING?
Defense: 7 – Hull were dead, barely moving. I think they gave away two penalties (that weren’t called) with lazy defending in the minutes before that shot.
Audacity: 10 – Outside of the boot, RAMSEY ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PLUS. PLUS. GIROUD BACKHEEL ASSIST in overtime of an FA Cup final???
Team: 9 – See above. Plus Arsenal won the ball back to start the sequence.
Luck: 6 – Backheel to first-touch shot? They couldn’t do that again in 200 tries. This may be a flaw in my matrix. Is it skill or is it luck?
Total: 50/60
Total without luck: 44/50
Vieira goal total without luck: 43/50
That Pires Lob against Southampton is very under rated due to it happening in game 1 of 49 which was the second to last game of an ultimately disappointing season.
For me the best goal of all time is Tony Adams vs Wvertin. It’s the only goal ever scored which genuinely makes me get a little teary when I see it.
Alan Smiths volley against Parma in 94 probably scores highly in all these categories as well.
Tony Adams against Everton. The traditional English “donkey”, transformed, and looking like Franz Beckenbauer. It signaled to gooners that a remarkable manager had arrived, and with it a new, stylish style of play. It’s why Arsene 2018 is a parody of that manager.
I will just leave this here
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uzuHF_5iiXQ
The Arshavin goal against Barcelona in 2011 for Arsenal’s only win against that Spanish club. Barcelona was the best club in the world then, they won the Champions League that year and that 2-1 loss was their only defeat in the competition. Also, there’s no comparison between Spurs and Barcelona in terms of quality. Of course, the 4-3 loss on aggregate is a negative factor.
Amazing that so many of the greatest goals were counter attacking play.
The Giroud “scorpion kick” was NOT luck and one of the most memorable.
Cazorla’s free kick? Oh, how I miss him…
— All those Ljungberg goals assisted by Dennis Bergkamp in the last few league games of 2002. I remember them always coming after the 60th minute; that combination (Bergkamp to Ljungberg) delivered without fail, and gave us the title that year.
— The Arshavin goal resulted in the most intense fist pumping of my life.
— Pires winner against Liverpool in 2004.
— Kanu goal against Chelsea
— World Cup 90: Cannigia’s goal magically assisted by Maradona in the 82nd minute against Brazil, after Brazil’s absolute domination of that much. That was some real Maradona magic.
In terms of audacity and PPS and zero luck; all of Matt Le Tissier’s goals. Audacity because of the goals and the goalscorer: most unlikely physique for a dribbling genius.
Your “luck” metric reminded me of this video of Ozil where you see him slice through 3-4 defenders with a pass perfectly waited for a team mate to finish and HE’S NOT EVEN LOOKING and initially you wonder whether it’s luck but then he goes on to do it another 20 odd times :
https://youtu.be/5-je9p7oP1Q
*weighted (>_<)
You guys are living in what has been a golden age for Arsenal (and yes, that includes this late Wenger period). Believe it or not, there were great moments before 1996. If I had to pick the most important / best, it would be the second goal below (scroll to 3:00 for the goal). Everton were undoubtedly the best team in the league and this was the game that set up the title winning season in 1989, our first for 18 years. All through my childhood, we’d had great players but never quite a great team. We’d beaten Liverpool to win the Littlewoods cup in 1987, against all the odds (Liverpool had never previously lost in a game in with Ian Rush scored) but this was a team with no superstars, moulded by the most exciting young manager in the league but who still had everything to prove. The game against Everton (over 2 legs) and some astute signings in the summer made everyone believe we could do it in 1989 – that belief is crucial and IMO explains why Spurs won’t win the league despite having probably their best ever team.
We missed an open goal and a penalty in the first half and the goal I’ve chosen came at a crucial moment, just after Everton equalised and where we could have folded. I don’t really like subjective scoring systems but it scores highly on all the metrics, plus one that’s missing – how much pressure were we under?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIryFZsHO9U
For the same reason, Henry’s second goal below is the best Arsenal goal of the Wenger era, way more important than the Vieira goal, again at a time where the team could have folded and audacity off the scale.
a reasonable argument could be made for vieira’s goal against leicester city in the last game of the unbeaten season. vieira was intelligent enough to recognize that if he made a forward run, which he rarely did, he would either collapse the leicester defense or be unmarked. leicester clearly hadn’t planned for a vieira forward run and completely failed to deal with it. vieira was, again, found by dennis bergkamp where he rounded the keeper and finished into an empty net. this goal not only won the game but knocked the fight out of a game leicester city that day.
however, the best goal came a few weeks before this. arsenal, in the same week, had just been eliminated from both the fa cup and the champions league. they were tired, vulnerable, down 2-1, and on the verge of blowing their unbeaten season against a rampant liverpool. that’s when thierry henry picked the ball up around midfield and walked the dog through the entire liverpool defense and scored the goal that allowed arsenal to make history against the odds.
the flow of the game suggested that a distraught and exhausted arsenal, eliminated from europe by a very late wayne bridge goal less than 48 hours prior, were there for the taking and likely to blow their unbeaten season. henry, despite his fatigue, refused to lose and made the play that galvanized the team, allowing them to win that game and finish the season unbeaten. was it a great passing move? no. was it away from home? no. but how many players, in the history of the game and under those circumstances, could have done what henry did? maybe messi. maybe brazilian ronaldo. maybe maradona. but only maybe. henry did it and that’s why this is the greatest arsenal goal.
if you didn’t see that game live, you can’t appreciate it. you can’t appreciate how distraught the boys were, losing to man united in the fa cup and losing in the champions league to a chelsea team the hadn’t lost to in four or 5 years. they were up against it and henry simply refused to lose. big up, henry.
i say if you didn’t see that game live because the game was on a friday morning in the states. i don’t know what i was doing at home but i somehow hustled and found a way to be there. most american-based arsenal fans were working during that game. you would have had to avoid checking the internet scores and watched the video of the game or you had to watch it live to appreciate the significance of that goal.
i’d like to make a comment on the previous thread concerning jack wilshere because i missed it.
it seems like about ten years ago, i made a similar argument concerning robin van persie. many fans were saying how arsenal needed to get rid of van persie as he never stayed fit. my argument was simple; you make exceptions for exceptional talent. is wilshere an exceptional talent? not as exceptional as rvp but exceptional, nonetheless. he also happens to be an arsenal fan. i urged folks to imagine rvp staying fit and playing elsewhere. how stupid would arsenal look? now, do that with jack.
arsenal screwed up when they put a very young wilshere on crazy wages. they have to bite that bullet. you, simply, can not cut the pay of a player entering his prime; especially not by a staggering 20%. that’s insane! imagine your boss coming to you and saying their going to cut your annual pay from 100k a year to 80k a year as you’re entering your peak years. their argument being your injury history with the common knowledge that you got injured working for the club. who would accept that? what arsenal are offering is derisory; they’re disrespecting wilshere as a man, playing on his love for the club. they did it with flamini and got it wrong. this is too easy to see.
wilshere won’t go to a club like everton; they can’t appreciate his talents. likewise, you can’t put too much emphasis on how his loan worked out. if mesut ozil were at bournemouth, he would have gotten dropped, too. is it because ozil’s not good enough?
if arsenal don’t change their stance, this summer they’ll be left trying to replace not only wilshere but szczesny. btw, i think jack would look good in juventus stripes, playing champions league. good luck, arsenal, with the money you have to spend to replace the talent of those two.
Is this Arsenal goals only? If not, I’d be interested in Tim’s scoring for Zidane’s Champions League-winning volley from the 2002 final (Real Madrid vs Bayer Leverkusen).
It should apply to any goal!
IMP: 10
PPS: 10
DEF: 6 (no one closes him down)
AUD: 9
TEM: 6 (Roberto Carlos doesn’t really assist him. No chance he meant to lob up a ball for a volley like that)
LUK: 6 (Pretty lucky that the ball came to him and no one closed him down.)
47/60
Ok, let’s make a game of this. van Persie’s flying volley vs Charlton Athletic (2006)?
Danny Welbeck against United!
God! I enjoyed that goal