I don’t know

Please don’t read this blog post, it’s garbage. I’m rusty and I don’t know what I’m doing. It will take me a week to get back into the swing of things. Don’t read anything I write for a full week. Just skip down to the comments and say something funny like “buttress your junks.”

I guess what I mean to say is sorry for my absence. I meant to write something yesterday about the win over Whatfor on Sunday but due to the time change I went to work for 12 hours instead.

Ok, the time change had nothing to do with my 12 hour shift. I just put that in because it’s getting close to finals week and students at my school are losing their minds and I needed to be there to help them find their minds.

About the win over Whatfor: it was a good game. I can hear you saying it now: this is why we pay Tim the big bucks, his brilliant analysis. Yep. “It was a good game.”

Let’s see if I can dig a little deeper than that… at least a former player didn’t spit on a teenager*, and at least we didn’t have a pitch invasion, and at least the owner didn’t run on to the pitch with a gun. Actually, it would be great if Stan Kroenke ran onto the pitch with a gun. Could he also be wearing a Yosemite Sam hat and start shootin’ into the sky? We need all the American stereotypes we can get.

My deep thought analysis is this: the players did well but Whatfor seemed to have one foot on the beach. There was a scene late in the match where Ainsley Maitland-Niles (the player who gave away a stupid penalty) was joking around with Troy Deeney (the player who took a stupid penalty) and that told me the whole story of this match, it didn’t matter much to either team.

I love that Cech broke his duck and got a clean sheet. I love that he saved Deeney’s awful penalty. I didn’t love Ainsley Maitland-Niles turning the ball over 100 times and giving away a penalty. There’s my match report. Maybe I should try my hand at match report haiku? I don’t have time today.

I really want to have some penetrating insight into why Arsenal’s fullbacks always seem to have brian frats but I’m at a loss. I thought it was panic induced for the longest time but there was no panic in that tackle by AMN. It was the world’s slowest motion penalty foul. Maybe fullbacks all over the world are this stupid and I just think it’s only Arsenal fullbacks because I only watch Arsenal. I can’t find any data on who gives away penalties, so it’s entirely possible that this is just perception bias on my part. I don’t know.

The thing I do know is that I am a fan of Mkhitaryan but I don’t want him playing on the wings! He’s at his most effective when he plays through the middle, which he does often, but we need wide players to protect the flanks, or center mids who can do that when he goes through the middle.

I’d like to see Mkhitaryan played in the CM role for the rest of the season. I think he’s the guy we’ve needed to replace Cazorla for a few years now. But again, if I’m honest, I’m not there in the training sessions. Maybe Wenger tries him in the middle and he’s awful. I don’t know.

I do know that I’m going to watch the match on Thursday. I’m going to get my hopes up. I’m going to get excited. I’m going to wear an Arsenal shirt to work. Will Arsenal go through to the final 8? I don’t know.

Maybe I’ll bake a pie tomorrow. Apple. I don’t know.

Qq

*I watched that video of Carragher spitting at a car and I empathize with that teenage girl. Her father was driving along, abusing Carragher and then whipped out his cell phone to record the reaction. You can hear the girl rolling her eyes at her father throughout the exchange and at the end she’s just had enough and tells him to stop filming. I got the sense that the daughter blamed her father for the interaction. Or at least put as much blame on the dad as Carragher.

73 comments

  1. Misspelling “brain fart” was a perfect touch to this post. Welcome back.

  2. I mean, I don’t mind Arsenal’s players fraternizing with the opponent if it means they’re less likely to get their legs broken.

  3. AMN is a fast runner, which, if you play for Arsenal and you’re not terribly great at defending, is known as recovery pace. Thank goodness for that, at least.

    I guess I see potential in AMN, but I wish our backup fullback was of a slightly better quality. Given that Bellerin is not a machine, our right side was always going to be a problem this season after selling Debuchy.

    Oh what am I talking about? Who honestly cares about the season anymore? Experiment away! AMN should be perfectly adequate for Europa competition and dead rubber PL games, and hopefully Bellerin will be ready for the next round (if we make the next round).

    I, too, will be watching the AC Milan game with interest. Honestly, I don’t share the confidence I’ve seen in others, but I’m really curious to see whether we can build on this budding confidence. Wouldn’t be at all surprised if it went to extra time and penalties.

    1. Considering the stories surrounding Bellerin and the need for our funds for basicall everywhere else, this is probably our future. I think this is how he’s breaking into the first team rather than CM.

      1. The thing about full-backs is they’re the most easily replaceable element of a team.. So yes I agree AMN could take over.

        But Hector fucking Bellerin man. It would be like losing Fabregas again.

        I want to see Hector play under a new Arsenal manager who refines how we play in the half-spaces, puts a player ahead of Hector who backs him up defensively, and knows how to play overlap/underlap wing combinations. Watching Douglas Costa’s insane performance against Sp*rs I was thinking those two would make a great combo now that Allegri has taught Costa how to defend.

        1. Absolutely. I’m not so sure good fullbacks are easily replaceable, top fullbacks are a rare commodity. See Barcelona and their trouble replacing Dani Alves, burning through Semedo, Vidal, and Roberto or City.

          1. True. Still like Monaco’s Djibril Sidibe a lot, but he’d probably cost most of whatever we get for Hector.

            Sven Mislintat has a whole lotta of work to do.

      2. If you sell Bellerin for 50m you spend 25m buying his replacement and another 15m on a backup. Good economics it does not make.

        1. Oh man, I’m about to let the ball go and lunge straight for your shin, because you deserve it!

          What’s wrong with you? I can 100% guarantee you’re going to pretend like this was ‘irony’ or ‘sarcasm’ but I don’t think it is at all, I think you really mean that, so save us both the time and just own it. You’d rather Arsenal lose their last chance for a trophy just so you can enjoy the team getting hosed down in negativity from the media and their own fans. Why? Because that carries way more entertainment value than a disciplined, hard working 1-0 or 0-0 home result. I’m not even surprised, nor do I think you’re the only one. Maybe at least you’ll admit to it. The world is full of vultures like you. The players know it too, you only have to listen to Mkhitaryan or Bellerin.

          “Oh Doc, why are you so mean to me” you might cry? Give me one reason I shouldn’t call you out. Not only do you deserve it for that comment but you can also consider it your just due from me personally.

          1. Doc, don’t go there with the just dues remark. You do not want to go down that road.

            Just let people make predictions without it turning into drama. It’s just a game for goodness sake.

          2. This has nothing to do with predictions, Kaius, the response was to Emob, not Tim. I don’t go ad-hom lightly but this needed to be said.

          3. Wow. Just dues, eh? Well, I guess that explains the shrieking overreaction! Hahaha! Are you serious?

          4. So..? I don’t feel the particular need to explain myself. There’s no particular interesting discussion here, so there you go.

        2. I fully expected you to jump in on this with both feet against me. I will politely ask though, since you weren’t mentioned in my post at all, that you stay out of it.

          1. Sorry. I thought that a public display of melodrama was fair game.

            “The world is full of vultures like you.” Priceless!

            On the other hand, I did appreciate the tackling metaphor. Speaking of both feet, remember when Eboue (I think it was) used to do that two-footed lunge thingy where he always seemed to bounce into an upright seated position? It always floored me with a mixed sense of horror and amusement.

          2. “A mixed sense of horror and amusement” is a shockingly apt description of latter-day Eboue. It’s easy to forget he was a pretty good back for a few years before he went all comic-sans (yes I just used a font to describe a footballer. I could get carried away with this).

      1. I am as lost in this thread as Denilson wason a football pitch.

        (Ambles off while Rooney runs past me)

  4. i saw the carragher spitting incident yesterday and if that were my daughter, i would have beaten his ass.

    i hate spitters. i used to be a totti fan until he spit on a guy in a game. vieira pissed me off because he spit on a guy. years ago, i tried to start a fight with a guy who got a red card for spitting on another player and the other player wasn’t even on my team. i know most people here don’t condone violence but anyone with the audacity to spit on another human being needs to get fu*ked up! violence would be a great deterrent. sometimes, it’s good to keep things. primal.

    1. Josh, I don’t think you’re a horrible human for suggesting that that man deserves to get a whack on the chin for what he did. I don’t support vigilante justice but I also think appalling human behavior like that needs to have real consequences. We have a culture of a lack of accountability that makes people think they can get away with anything. Obese? It’s your genetics. Failing in school? It’s your teachers. Not getting promoted? It’s discrimination. The world is full of ready made excuses because being responsible for yourself is really hard. In reality the happiest people in the world take full responsibility for everything that happens to them, even if it’s something horrible and unpredictable. The most miserable people live their lives thinking they are misbegotten or persecuted.

  5. I like AMN raw talent and the cool dude looks but he will never be a top defender in this Arsenal set up under Wenger.

    “Watch Adams play and learn from him” said Wenger to Cole.
    Who’s our Adams now?

    Bouldy has had a gag order put on him or at least it would appear so.

    $20 to whoever can produce footage of him speak.

    Milan are toast.
    We might be crap but Gatuso’s Milan are nothing to write home about either, no matter their unbeaten streak in the league.

    1. “Who’s our Adams now?”

      very fair question; not only as a player but as a captain? arsenal don’t have a captain. according to wenger, they have eleven captains. who’s in charge? who’s responsible for providing direction on the field that the manager can’t? arsenal don’t have anyone. as a result, they have eleven very talented players all trying their best but pulling in eleven different directions. against a good team who plays a good game, arsenal will always lose because they are a team divided.

      the manager can’t do everything. he needs subordinate leaders to control the troops. this is the flaw from dismantling the invincibles the way that arsene wenger did. you can’t let that many senior guys leave that quickly. you’ll lose your culture and, eventually, you’ll lose your way.

      1. You take that talk of ‘eleven captains’ too literally. Max Allegri said something similar in the IMG produced Netflix series. It’s about taking individual responsibility, not about not having a leader to turn to. Besides, leaders can’t really be appointed. They emerge in a situation. Sometimes expressly pointing it out can also have negative consequences. Like a player who otherwise has no problem taking direction might suddenly go, “wait, I’m supposed to be following this guy? I thought we were teammates rather than he being above me. ” The best leaders don’t always need to show they’re in charge. Also, the media can eat alive the leader for any perceived flaw, personal or collective, and that isn’t pretty.

        Arsenal’s high flux in the squad certainly didn’t help with a leader emerging. But there was no way to not dismantle the Invincibles. Arteta and Per have been our leaders on the field. They took over naturally. Right now it seems Koscielny is. His style is a bit different. But, if the Guardian article and Tim’s identity reveals (guesses) are true, then maybe he can have emerged an effective leader.

        1. Leadership on the football pitch can only come from superior ability, talent, application and execution during games.
          Everything else is just hot air.

          Mertesacker had too much to deal with getting himself in the right state of mind for games to be a leader, if his interview is anything to go by.

          Koscielny has been great for Arsenal but he’s not the leader type either.

          The last leader we had was Fabregas, period.

          The reason I like AMN is because he’s got that fearless attitude about him, but it’s too early to tell whether it comes from the right place.
          It could be that his just ignorant but I hope not.
          From the looks of it , he’s got all the tools to be something special.

          1. Superior talent to whom? To the rest of the team? No way. The ‘best’ player isn’t always the leader of the team. In fact, I think more often he is not.

            Arsenal players referred to the then vice captain Arteta as a leader.
            And just because someone finds it draining doesn’t mean they can’t be a leader. Per definitely commands respect in the squad.

            The Arsenal ship didn’t stabilize after the fire sale on its own. Arteta and Mertesacker were two key lieutenants of Wenger on the pitch. This appeared to me to be a well accepted fact. Not sure why this is disputed, that too in favour of Fabregas whose claims to leadership were based solely around his talent and standing in a young team.(Not saying he was a terrible leader. He just fit into that team’s vision of itself)

            There is no one leader type. There are various types of leadership, and a leader can emerge in a specific situation (eg Fabregas) which I expressed hope that Koscielny might be doing now.

    2. Hear who speak, AMN? If so, there’s footage from when the team were on the pre-season tour. Think he was driving a speedboat and having chuckle with Iwobi about something.

      Is it weird to say I liked some of Watford’s build-up play? It was even more efficient under Marco Silva, but still easy on the eye. When that team finds a striker who isn’t an inflatable jelly baby they’ll do some real damage.

      I think Milan will score at the Emirates.

      1. Hey doc , I meant him actually talking to Arsene or anyone while on the bench during an Arsenal game, but I suppose I should’ve been more specific so that’s on me.
        Do you have a pay-pal account where I can sent you your $20?
        What’s fair is fair.

  6. Mkhitaryan is awful defensively. Cazorla was smaller and didn’t get bullied off the ball nearly as much. Mkhi needs a full season in the weight room so he wins at least 33% of this battles, right now he wins 0% of his duels.

    He also is amazingly unidirectional – so often I see him receive a pass and he doesn’t know he has space behind him and plays it right back into pressure. “Play the way you’re facing” is something we preach to little kids, but this guy’s supposed to be an elite midfielder. The great center midfielders know what’s going on around them, a full 360 degrees, before they even receive the pass, so they know what to do with their first touch, they know the space they need to turn into. Watch a video of Xavi and the guy’s head is on a swivel all the time, looking over his shoulders. Wilshere and Ozil have this ability, Xhaka and Ramsey to a lesser extent. Fabregas had it in spades. Elneny is lacking this as well but he’s not a creative midfielder by trade and it’s less noticeable.

    I’m not sold on Mkhitaryan. That said, I think when we have Lacazette back we’re going to play a front three of Auba/Mkhi/Ozil (Auba at the top of a triangle) or Auba/Laca/Ozil or Mkhi (with two up top, one #10 in behind). I can’t see keeping either Mkhitaryan or Ozil out wide; they’re not wingers in the classic sense nor are they inverted wingers like Sanchez or Mahrez.

    1. Weird: Mkhitaryan is 50% tackler for Arsenal 2.5/5 p90 – is dispossessed 1.4 times p90 – and he’s a 77% passer, in the AMR role for Arsenal and was an 84% passer for United when he was deployed in the CAM role.

      His numbers are very similar to Ozil when he was deployed in the Ozil role for United and similar to Cazorla – Peak Cazorla was a better dribbler.

      1. I liked the look of Doucoure, what do you think about him? Seems like he has the length, athleticism and stamina our midfield lacks, and a bit of end-product too.

        1. I also thought of Doucoure (Does his name mean Of the Heart?) As you say he seems like he could bring something to this team. But when was the last time we bought a player from the EPL’s lesser lights (not ManU rejects) Anyone since Arteta?

          1. Holding was the last I believe, Chambers, Ox are a few others more recent that Arteta. I think it’s more that Wenger doesn’t buy midfielders very often, doesn’t seem to value the position as highly as other areas, or he’s just more content with his options than we’d like him to be. I don’t see a move for Doucoure happening unless Wenger is unhappy with El-Neny because I don’t see Doucoure as a better starting option for the #8 role than Ramsey, so it would be a move for depth and variety, but the Egyptian put in his best game of the year last weekend and I daresay he outplayed his Watford counterpart.

      2. Maybe I’m watching him with a certain bias towards seeing his mistakes. I know he coughed up the ball twice against Watford that resulted in chances for them at the beginning of the second half when they had a bit of pressure on us. But maybe statistically he’s better than he appears.

        I agree though that at Dortmund he was better in the #10 role. But it seems we have two players in there, three if you count Wilshere as a #10 and four if you want Ramsey too. Oh, and Iwobi can play there too. Five. Five potential #10’s. What a roster.

    2. I have the opposite view, Jack; to me he is the most important player we have in forward areas. In the Watford match I thought Mkhitaryan’s duels with Cholevas and Richarlison and the active help from ElNeny were the main reason they were ineffective going forward. Usually with Arsenal when they lose the ball on the opponent’s D, you see heads drop and a slow walk/jog back to their goal, but not HM, he sprints to get goalside. He was incredibly active and involved in both phases and was creator/scorer of two goals. Most creative players at least make a show of tackling back but with Ozil something I see every time is he doesn’t give the second effort; if he sticks a leg in and doesn’t win it, he looks skyward and stops, but not HM, he keeps battling, even when the other player is clearly bigger. I don’t see what’s not to like about such a complete two way player. The one caveat is he is a confidence player and you can see that missed passes, etc. get to him and impact his performance. I think that’s why he never shone at MU.

      1. I will agree with you that I see him come back and harry the man with the ball after he’s lost it. He still doesn’t win it back though. He’s not physically very strong. I think this is in part why he couldn’t cut it for Mourinho.

        Let’s keep in mind he’s looked good against Watford and Everton, so so against Milan and pretty much awful the rest of the games.

        Comparing his defensive work rate to Ozil’s is a low benchmark btw. Ozil is pathetic. I saw him lose the ball, or a teammate lose the ball no less than 5 yards away and Ozil couldn’t be arsed to front the opponent and pressure the ball. He very often will pursue a player after he’s past him – but rarely catches him, mostly because I don’t really think he wants to.

        1. Well, yes, Ozil is a low benchmark, as are Arsenal in general, which is why his work rate is so important. I’m not concerned about him losing physical duels, I want him to engage the man on the ball as the first line of resistance, which lets the rest of the team pick up assignments and come in to help. It’s when opposition players just blow past the first line that is the start of trouble, and HM is a big part of the solution there, especially with other forwards (like Ozil) who are too passive in the defensive phase. You can say “it was only Watford and Everton” but teams like that are 80% of the league and points against them count the same.

    3. I think Mkhitaryan is playing like Sanchez because that’s what Wenger has asked him to do. I think he’s ill-suited to the role but he’s a creative enough player that he’s doing ok at it.

      You can’t judge any of these players by what they’re doing now. Wenger had to slapdash a new attack together in January so he’s just stiched the new players into the old one. Also, Wenger, tactics, yadda-yadda. If Wenger stays, I think the attack looks different next season. If Wenger leaves, the attack will look drastically different next season.

      Mhki’s best role is probably as #10, but played more as a traditional attacking midfielder than an Ozil style advanced playmaker. Also, hardly anyone really plays #10s anymore because everyone plays with a DM and they mark the #10s completely out of the game.

      They can both play on the wings because there are more roles for a winger than an inside forward and a winger. Ozil played as a Raumdeuter in the last world cup and he’s only gotten better at that role over the years. Letting him play on the wing means he’s much less likely to be man marked while he drifts all over the pitch than when he plays traditionally in central midfield. The problem Arsenal have is that when they line up that way, they still have Bellerin bombing forward as an attacking wingback and you can only get away with that combination if you have an immensely talented defensive midfielder, exceptionally quick with excellent reading of the game. Arsenal obviously do not have that player.

      If I were lining up an ideal Arsenal team for next season I’d play a Pep style 4-3-3 with Auba up top, Ozil and a new player on the wings, Ozil in that Raumdeuter role and the new player probably an inside forward. Lacazette could be tried out there, or Perez brought back but a new player is probably best. Then I’d give Mkhi a run out in the Cazorla role as a shuttler with Ramsey and the new DM who is the most important buy of next summer. If Mkhi doesn’t work out, hopefully the new manager can retrain Ramsey to be the box-to-box player he used to be and Mkhi can play as a central playmaker.

    4. Miki will never be another Cazorla.
      Some players are simply irreplaceable.
      Close ball control with both feet , combined with constant motion and incredible foot speed, plus telescopic head and eyes was the talent cocktail that made Santi what he was.

    5. I saw Mkh win several duels against Watford. In fact, I was surprised at how well he did. Granted, this had a lot to do with expectations, but he could very well represent an improvement on our little Spaniard, at least in the defensive column.

    6. Defensively, Cazorla was smaller but Mkhi is sticky, while Ramsey can be clumsy and Xhaka is a hacker.

  7. Welcome back. I don’t want to see Mkhi in the CM role. He is not defensively disciplined enough, gets dispossessed far too easily and while his dribbling and passing is adequate, it’s not good enough to the point where he can simply dribble or pass the ball out of tight situations. He seems to shine when he has a little bit of space in front of him and can run with the ball. I actually like him cutting inside because then that creates movement in our otherwise predictable and static attack. He does leave the wide areas more vulnerable sometimes but if we tighten up the midfield and defense, it would be less of an issue.

  8. Totally off topic…

    Ashley Young is the most right-footed left sided player in the world. Totally useless chocolate (left) leg, which he uses only for running.

    1. Currently United are losing. I do enjoy it when Mourinho is disappointed. Let’s hope Sevilla can hold on!

    2. Get in Sevilla!

      Guys, N’Zonzi has given another quiet masterclass of a performance at DM.

    3. Yes! That was fun. Well done, Sevilla. And yes about Nzonzi. A shame Wenger has no interest in signing DMs…

        1. Hey Claude, do you still believe Sanchez to United at £500 k
          per week was a great piece of business by Mourinho.?

          1. Yes, it was. But ask the question again at Christmas, after he has had the summer off and started a new season with his new club.

            He’s playing for a really negative tactician too. I watched him closely yesterday. Those instinctive one-twos? Never got the ball back from Lukaku. Not on the same wavelength.

            I’m gonna laugh at him that United went out at the same stage that we do every year, but I’m not ready yet to declare the move a bust.

            They have 4 superb attacking players, and good creative midfielders like Mata and Pogba. Yet Jose starts Fellaini and Matic.

          2. Can’t really argue with any of that my friend but it seems you are slightly moving the goal posts here 🙂

            Whatever happened to ” PL proven goal scorer who can hit the ground running”?

            It was always a big ask of Sanchez to hit the ground running because he was in a major slump with Arsenal and his last purple patch of form was a season ago.

            He’s going to be 30 next season and no one has clocked more miles on the pitch and in the air than Alexis.

            Are you at least ready to admit City were right to pass on this one?

          3. They’re not exactly regretting it at this point 🙂 But yes, I think it’s too early to judge his impact.

            Take martial as an example. I rate him very highly. He’d be a monster if he was playing for a more attack-minded manager, but even he’s mired in Jose’s dross.

  9. This is Mourinho’s most glorious bit of narcissism in 2018 so far:

    “I know this has happened at Manchester United before because I have sat in this chair as manager of Porto and of Real Madrid. I don’t think it is something new for this club.”

    1. On second thought, do you think his agent has been in touch with PSG about the upcoming vacancy and he’s trying to get himself fired (without letting go of that fat payout)?

      He can then get his own nation sponsored team to try and counter Pep over 1 or 2 games max instead of a full league campaign.

      1. I don’t think they want him. they already passe don him and I don’t think Mourinho is the image they want to project. Ithink as far as top clubs go he’s done for a long time. I wouldn’t be surprised if his next gig is in China, Mendes has some good contacts there….

        1. Well Madrid went for him in their desperation.

          Also, great typo. Mourinho the Passe Don

          1. But that was at his height after winning the CL. A few years later and after Chelsea Part 2 he was toxic, no one would touch him but ManU who at first didn’t want him, got desperate enough and Woodward basically told Mendes and Rails to run the pesky football stuff. I mean, at some point someone will get very desperate, but I can’t see a tier 1 club going for him.

  10. For me AMN is a good news story. Danny Murphy and Martin Keown were impressed with him at right back – Murphy thinks he’ll be a superstar, Keown saying he would have been very happy to play alongside him, both saying that on current form they would take him over Bellerin. He has this moment of hesitation in his game, this pause where he seems to be slow to react and opposition players think they have a sniff, but more often than not he then shuts the door. I don’t think it’s all about brain farts and recovery pace, it’s more his style of play. It’s very unusual. The penalty was a bit stupid though, and shows that this slow initial reaction in his game can have consequences.

    As for giving the ball away a lot, he was dispossessed just twice and had a passing percentage of 85%, the same as Bellerin’s season average. Overall I was pretty impressed and agree with others that he might get a run at RB. At DM against Oestersunds he looked out of his depth and was taken off at half time, whereas at RB he is less exposed – an example of the manager protecting a young player to ensure their continued development.

  11. It’s a real shame that the grolly landed on the fourteen year old and didn’t miss her completely, because her complete knob of a dad has the sort of smug boat you’d just love to do something to.

  12. It’s a real shame that the grolly landed on the fourteen year old and didn’t miss her completely, because her complete knob of a dad has the sort of smug boat you’d just love to do something to.

  13. On Milan, sorry mates. We’re not going to stuff this up.

    I kind of understand where Doc is coming from, too strong reaction notwithstanding. It’s one thing to say we suck. Heck yeah, we do.

    There were mutterings and grumblings by some ONLY about how bad Milan were. Come on, man. We’re football supporters. Not clinicians.

    We are going to successfully navigate this tie.

  14. Nice post Mr Tim.. I dunno if it’s a bad thing to say, but every nerve in me wants Wenger gone.. each time we lose a game, I feel like I just broke up with a girl I loved so much. Imagine how many breakups I’ve had this year.. it’d be so disgraceful if a win against Milan saves Wenger his job…by the way, I think utilizing Ryan along side Ramsey would be a no-brainer..

Comments are closed.

Related articles