I have discovered the joy of Barcelona FC during a Presidential election. With their seemingly non-stop tapping up of pretty much every player in the history of mankind, and especially Arsenal players, I used to get all angry and say things like “die you fcuking cock sandwiches” and “irregardless, this is proff that they just want to take away our middle-fielders and they should be banned from transfers for eternity!” But now, thanks to the internet, I’m much better.
The internet, you see, serves up so much delicious irony and so many bizarre quotes that after a while it just started to sink in; Barcelona are actors in a Catalonian comedy! Take this latest quote from Barcelona’s Berguiristain
Cesc is a player who has the Barca profile. He was born suckling upon the teat of the football here. One day he will end up playing at the Camp Nou. I am sure of it.
That can’t be a serious statement made by a man who is in charge of a multi-million dollar international sporting empire. “Suckling the teat” of Barcelona? No, that is something that only a clown would say. That he then goes on to tap up Ribery and Robinho making mad proclamations such as “If Ribery goes on the market, we’ll be first to know” only heightens the sense of farce.
Of course, no good comedy would be complete without the play within a play: a perfect mirror for the court jester that is Txiki Berguiristain, Joan Laporta and the other cast of folks at Barcelona who so accidentally brighten my day with their madness. The internet delivers here as well with “Barcanews” over at Twitter serving up a delicious foil for the real Barcelona news 140 characters at a time. My favorite?
FC Barcelona to play with 10 men from now on, leaving a place open for Fabregas until he joins in 2028.
See, no need for alarm. No need to get your heckles up. Barcelona’s pursuit of Cesc Fabregas is nothing short of a comic masterpiece. A modern day Taming of the Shrew but instead of Barca playing the part of Petruchio and Cesc as Katerina, they are actually stuck in the introduction. Barcelona are the drunken tinker Sly.
Now, kiss me Cesc.