I really don’t get this.
John Terry makes an inexplicable statement about how Englishmen don’t dive, a statement which defies all reality, and the English press pick it up as a sort of light-hearted story — jokingly pointing out some of the fallacies while leaving the gaping aporia at the center of the text alone. Is it too much to ask for someone in the press to hear John Terry say:
That’s something the England lads don’t do (Dive). Sometimes we’re too honest. Even in the Premier League, we see the English lads get a bit of contact and try to stay on their feet and score the chance. The foreign mentality coming in is that any little clip you can go tumbling over, because of the speed of the game nowadays
and cock their heads quizzically and wonder what kind of xenophobic dope he’s smoking?
I’m not going to repeat yesterday’s column inch for inch and simply substitute “Rooney” for Steven Gerrard, Lampard, Owen, and Thomas Daley. That would be boring. I am just going to say this; Steven Gerrard, who is English, dived against Andorra.
Which, until last year, I thought was a planet in the Star Trek universe with little blue people (it’s not). Irregardless of my ignorance about Andorra, diving against Andorra is the moral equivalent of me or you diving against an Elementary School recess pickup game.
I rest my case, your honor, Englishmen dive and John Terry is a turd.
A turd I will be watching play against Slovenia at 9:30am this morning and a turd who will be playing world footballing giants Croatia on Wednesday. Wednesday should be a dive-fest of epic proportions. I can’t wait for Eduardo to get tackled knee high by some English player and as he’s on the ground in actual pain, one of these holier-than-thou English gods can come over and scream “get up you fake” or some such. It’ll be “great” to hear the press go on about how if he hadn’t “dived” he wouldn’t be getting such a reaction and how great the English players are for being English and all.
The only other news story today, that doesn’t involve something in The Sun, is that Amazon removed Fat Willy’s disgusting CD from their shelves, not because people complained, but because an Arsenal solicitor complained. In the future, I guess we’ll have to direct our complaints at Arsenal.com rather than the retailer. Speaking of which, we should point out to the dot com that iTunes is still selling the CD.
Anyway, I don’t want to leave today on a sour note so instead, I’ll just point to this story about three footballers who overcame adversity to play the sport they loved. I can’t pick any one of Gilberto, Ribery, or Messi’s story as better than any other despite the fact that Gio was an Arsenal player. They are all truly inspirational.
Do you have a similar tale? I’d love to hear it. I love hearing from fans about how they fell in love with football, so share away!