An ugly display

Ugh, I picked up some cold yesterday and feel like utter crap today so short blog for you so I can get back to bed for some sleep.

In yesterday’s “Charity Shield” we got a preview of the season ahead and the presumptive champions were in rare form: elbowing their opponents in the face, scoring unsportsmanlike goals, and surrounding the referee.

I’m having a hard time picking best moments of the match. Is it the delicious irony that Chris Foy spoke to the players before the match about what a success the Respect Campaign has been? Is it the fact that Patrice Evra got elbowed in the face? Is it the fact that after the match the Chelsea supporter’s only recourse is to point to how poorly United acted in order to gloss over the fact that they basically cheated in a friendly?

Tough choice, but considering that I’ve seen nothing but classlessness and indiscipline from Chelsea and the fact that pretty much everyone on the planet would like to elbow Evra in the face, I’m going with the irony.

Yes, Chris, the respect campaign has been a huge success. You got a glimpse of how successful it’s been up close and personal yesterday.

Anyway, enough about those cunts. If that’s to be our top competition this year I’m not overly worried. The “Chelsea diamond” formation was particularly hilarious. What’s it made of? 100 years of compressed shit?

Speaking of 100 years of compressed shit, how about that Tiki Beergutstain? He’s Barcelona’s sporting something or another and he’s decided to go all out and try to get Cesc Fabregas. By all out I mean, not going to spend anywhere near what he’s worth. I’ve heard something about £25m plus other players and considering the fact that they just did a £25m plus Samuel Eto’o for Zlatan, I’m thinking that we should ask for £25m plus Messi and Yaya.

As for bringing players in, the boss is being coy. After the devastating 2-0 defeat to Valencia the boss was in a good mood joking and laughing at all us fans and our insatiable desire for new players. My suspicion is that he’s been planning this now for 8 years and this is the season he’s going to spring his trap. I suspect that his ploy is to finally get Arsenal out of the “top four” and put us in the relegation zone. He’s been a secret Tottenham supporter this whole time.

Or, he’s going to buy Chamakh.

I’m not sure which to believe, I’ll tell you at the end of the season.

As for the Hangeland story, I’m not sure if there’s anything to that. Vermaelen is healthy and the boss is saying he’ll probably feature against Everton. Meanwhile everyone in the team is talking about defense and partnerships and blah blah.

If Wenger bought Hangeland it would mean that he’s looking to have the option to change his back four from the high line, wing-back formation we currently play, into a flat(er) back four. I don’t mean that we’d play the flat line all the time, against the “Chelsea diamond” having wing backs would be essential. Hangeland would just give Arsene another option. I’m not sure how much Brede would be down with playing just against the shit-kickers in the league, but hey, that’s where I’m going with this story.

Anyway, we’ve got international friendlies this week and pretty much everyone except Denilson, Almunia, Rosicky, and Nasri will get injured. Of course, if Almunia gets his passport and changes his name to something more English, like Manny Pickledickle he too could go off to international duty and get injured. I mean, did you see Ben Foster play yesterday?  Vitto Mannone is a better keeper than Ben Foster!

Anyway, I think I’m getting delerious. More of this kind of blogging tomorrow. See you then.


  1. Evra didn’t even get touched on his face… he was faking it the whole time… yes it was a foul but ballack didn’t go near his face.
    The irony is that Ferguson came out in the press saying Ballack will get a reputation (he already has one) for play acting when Evra’s dramatic nose grab was far worse than Ballacks acting.

      1. @Tim, raised arm is not an elbow 😉 Evra is a simulator. I do wonder why 2 incidents on Drogba early in the game have not been looked at? One of them seemed more of an elbow that Ballacks.
        Btw, horrible video..

  2. Apparently Tixi didn’t hear Cesc’s statement earlier in the summer that he’s going nowhere, or he’s choosing to ignore it. Either way, it is a total lack of respect for Fab and for the club. Cesc has been a man of his word so far, and I don’t expect that to change. And wasn’t the Ibra deal worth closer to 35 million pounds plus etoo?

    Feel better, Tim! I just got over a nasty bug myself, being sick is never cool in the summer.

  3. Yeah I think all the whining about Evra going down is bollocks, in the video above, it’s clear that man utd had advantage when ballack went down so it was only fair to call it back for a free kick.

    When ballack elbowed evras shoulder and he dramatically went down clutching his face man utd had the advantage so the ref let play go on, if he’d then stopped the game as soon as chelsea got the ball back that would have been unfair, he allowed play to go on and so he should have.

    If it didn’t turn into a goal in the position Evra was supposed to be covering then, nothing further would have been made of it. Evra should have sucked it up and gotten back up and into position, referee’s shouldn’t reward that “oh my god he just destroyed me in that tackle…oh look, now that play has stopped I’m suddenly fine again” bullshit ploy to break up play.

    Personally I think if a player goes down and feigns an injury like that they should be booked, it’s as bad as diving. Speaking of diving, is it just me or did Valencia crumble under any contact at all, everytime we went for a tackle their players would just flop down and the ref fell for it. There were times when their players would go down before there was even any contact, if any at all.

    I saw Chamakh play for bordeaux for the first time and I have to say, he’s exactly what we need, I didn’t think we needed any more attacking options, but if I’m honest I really don’t see both Van Persie and Eduardo remaining injury free for the entire season not only that, but he has a work rate that rivals that of Rooney and Tevez, has technical skill and link up play similar to Arshavin, I was thoroughly impressed by him. I’m beginning to feel he’d make as big an impact as Arshavin did for us, Arshavin arrived and he injected a new desire and style of attacking play to our team. Like Arshavin, Chamakh likes to run at defenders instead of just passing the ball side ways. I can only see the introduction of such a hard working player up the game of our other attacking options as they compete for a regular spot. He has a devestating header too and currently we only have bentdner that comes close to that, but so far he hasn’t been played in a position where that can be used.

    1. @Bongo, If you watch La Liga regularly, you will soon appreciate that Spanish sides spend a considerable amount of time diving, sorry simulation. They practice regularly and have turned it in to an artform. It is what separates the top teams from the bottom teams, good diving ensures a good league position, poor diving skills put you at the bottom.


  4. Ballack has always been a bully. Don;t know why he gets away with it and doesn;t get lumped in with the Nolan’s, or Bartons. Well i guess once he gets older, he can play for Bolton or Rovers.

  5. Evra was just being a whimp. Yes, stupid Ballack touched him but not in the face. His primary concern should have been defending, not feigning a non existent injury. I agree with Bongo, any player who feigns injury, thereby disrupting play, should be yellow carded, same for divers.

  6. You know that there will be worse refereeing travesties in the up coming season when the games are for real. We all know that Chelsea are a pile of dog poo from that Carling Cup match where Adebayor got red carded. Ballack is a consumate professional player doing the things that Walcott would wet his pants trying.

    I must say that neither Man U nor Chelsea looked like they are going to just roll over the league based on their display in the Community Shield game. Here’s a conspiracy theory on why Foster will not be in Holland. Based on Sat. ‘s display, Capello probably told Foster to pack it in so as to avoid a “Calamity James” or Robinson moment. Right now the DC United GK Wicks looks better than Foster.

    Wenger doing his near the end of the transfer window tap dance. I would not get in a lather about it. One theory I’ve read recently (w/ apologies to that author for restating his/her idea) is that Wenger needs a positive result in Celtic away to be sure of advancing out of this stage before making any purchases. Chamakh won’t be cup tied before the transfer window closes.

    1. @ctpa, Why should a positive result against Celtic decide whether a £6m purchase goes ahead? The CL is not the only competition! Not sure who’s theory it was but I don’t buy into it. More likely that Wenger as usual thinks were strong enough.

      1. @Bull, I agree with you. I don’t buy into that theory. I believe that he is only playing chicken with Bordeaux in a ploy to get Chamackh as cheaply as possible.

  7. A report (The Sun) claims that Wenger “blinked” w/ an apparent increased bid of 8m for Chamakh. Bordeaux’s Triaud knows nothing of this report and says “there is no sign of life” from Arsenal on Chamakh. Since Bordeaux have dropped their price to 10m, we are clearly in the driver’s seat. Another report has West Ham U trying to hijack Chamakh. I think when Triaud said Chamakh would not be allowed to go to a small club, that also meant West Ham U too.

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