Bordeaux, Your Striker is on My List

by Tim

My friends wonder why I call you all of the time
What can I say
I don’t feel the need to give such secrets away
You think maybe I need help, no, I know that I’m right
I’m just better off not listening to friends advice

When they insist on knowing my bliss
I tell them this
When they want to know what the reason is
I only smile when I lie, then I tell them why
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
Because your kiss is on my list of the best things in life
(because your kiss) your kiss is on my list
(because your kiss) your kiss I cant resist

Evidently, Arsene Wenger called Bordeaux president Jean-Louis Triaud and told him that Marouane Chamakh was on his “list of strikers:” preposterous popcockery, I say.

I have a dear friend, Everton supporter but we’ll forgive him that indiscretion, who, when absolutely shiat-faced will start telling people “you’re on the list.” Then he will promptly write your name down on a scrap of paper. If you get “on the list” a second time, for gods only know what transgression, you then get “crossed off the list.” Maybe, just maybe, this is the list that Mr. Triaud was referring to?

Maybe Wenger took the night off, got a couple bottles of wine, you know Boones Farm, some ice, and a pint glass and put in the old tapes of the Invincibles season and got proper drunk. Then in his fugue state, grabbed the phone and called Jean-Louis to tell him he’s “on the list.” It’s the only thing that makes sense.

OR!

Bordeaux could be trying to increase Chamakh’s price in the sale to Sunderland.

You pick: drunken Wenger booty call OR transparent attempt to boost sales price.

Meanwhile, the other side of the press corpse is pushing hard for Arsenal to buy Daniele de Rossi, because, wait for it… wait for it… because he’s valued at £30m. No seriously, that’s the reason: Arsenal have £30m (from the sales of Toure and Adebayor minus the purchase of Vermy) de Rossi is worth £30m, and Roma is in financial trouble, ergo, Arsenal are buying de Rossi.

The de Rossi story reminds me a lot of the David Villa saga that’s been going on now for like 14 years; the reporters don’t have anything to go on so they fabricate this intricate web of financial intrigue in the vain attempt to make it look like there’s something going on.

That said, I have watched de Rossi for years on YouTube and he’s exactly what Arsenal need, he’s a ball breaker:

That’s pretty much it for today in the fake transfer news, well, there’s this one story where Arsenal will sign Patrick Vieira and Blaise Matuidi simultaneously and try to fuse them together to make one super midfielder: experienced but full of youthful vigor.

But that story’s crazy, right?

Oh, and there’s some news that Eboue’s transfer to Fiorentina is off because Arsenal want too much from him. I wanted to say something about this the other day but forgot. From what I’ve seen so far this season, Eboue looks faster, slimmer, and actually was the lone bright spot in the second half of the Hannover game. £10m for a player with his versatility, heart, and engine is actually pretty cheap and I’d rather we kept him.

New favorite word

Ineffectualness: adj. Not producing the proper or intended effect: Futile.
cf. Emmanuel Adebayor in front of goal.

Injuries

The club received good news about Thomas Rosicky the other day and the midfield maestro should be playing for Arsenal this weekend at the Emirates cup. Turns out his “injury” was just Wenger being cautious with the player, since he’d been out of commission for 18 months.

Still in the injury room, apparently, is Gael Clichy. If you remember, he suffered a back injury at the end of last year and it supposedly hasn’t healed. I had been asking around about his fitness and today is the first bit of news I’ve seen about him all summer and it’s not good.

This injury explains why “Gerry” (my new nickname for Silvestre) was featured at left back all pre-season. We may need to get used to seeing Gerry or Vermaelen at left back for a while but let’s hope not.

Emirates Cup

The Emirates Cup kicks off tomorrow morning with Rangers v. PSG at 6:30am (PST) followed by Arsenal v. Athletico Madrid at 8:30am (PST). The matches are being carried live here in the states on GolTV which I don’t have because I don’t have sattelite TV.

I have a call in to Russ at Doyle’s to see if they have GolTV and if they will be open in the morning. If they don’t or aren’t then I’m sure I can catch some dodgy stream of the game online.The ArsenalTV Online is strictly an audio feed which I suppose I could make do with. You know, pretend it’s the 50’s or something and the only way I can catch an Arsenal match is on the radio.

I will update this space for the locals if Doyle’s is open tomorrow.

DOYLE’S IS HOSTING TACOMA GOONERS FOR THE EMIRATES CUP TOMORROW AND SUNDAY– CLICK HERE FOR DIRECTIONS

Photos of the new pitch look absolutely brilliant and I’m excited to see some action on it in the morning, hopefully on a real television.

I do want to put a fly in everyone’s drink and caution you against watching this tournament and thinking that this is how Arsenal are going to play all season. I know a lot of people are saying that this is the first real test for the team but in reality this is just another friendly, and the rules are skewed to benefit Arsenal.

Arsenal decided that “shots on goal” (a fan’s suggestion) would be the tie breaker in the event of a tie after points, goal differential, and goals have already been taken into account. Wenger’s been beating this “shots on goal” concept for a while as a remedy to the way the EPL is played. But the reality is that parking the bus works. Arsenal used it against Man U to win the FA Cup in 2005. Wenger claims he hated doing it but it worked and I suspect he’d do it again if there was a trophy on the line.

So, don’t put too much stock in this weekend’s festivities as a harbringer of things to come, after all, no one parks the bus in from of goal in a freindly, much less in a friendly tourney where shots on goal are a decider.

Two weeks at Everton, now, that will be a different story.

0 comments

  1. Two weeks is Everton, which I’m thankful for as I’m not emotionally ready to start this whole season yet. Need this weekend’s games as an appetizer.

    By the way, I liken transfer season to those times I was a kid waiting for my Big League Chew batting glove or a baseball card I ordered to arrive via the mail. Every morning, waking up with great anticipation, running to the mailbox around 11 or so to see if the package has been delivered. Now, every morning, boot up the computer, go to goal.com, espn.com, arseblog, etc. to see if we’ve signed somebody. Kind of helps me shake off the morning cobwebs.

      1. I agree, and while I don’t pay heed to their rumours and such, they do provide some early direction as to actual stories unfolding.

  2. When you said “fuse Matuidi and Viera together” I thought of that family guy episode where the doctors put peter together with a leaf rake for one arm and a plunger for another.

    I don’t think Di Rossi is worth the 30 mil and Wenger wouldn’t spend it anyway.

    I’m going to Titans training camp today but no doubt I’ll destroy my blackberry’s battery keeping up with all things Arsenal.

    Looking forward to some real competition on a real tv this weekend as opposed to watching a grainy slovakian or chinese feed on my laptop.

  3. It is indeed a strange opening gambit from Wenger to call and say your striker is on my list. WTF does that mean? Wenger is not a man who “beats around the bush”. His opening would be “Is your player (Chamakh) for sale and I will agree to his buyout fee of 8m. Triaud says yes to both or yes and 8m is not enough because… Then there is no soap opera. Triaud has already screwed up the first rule of negotiation w/ Arsenal which is shut up.

    Back injuries are ‘funny’ things in the time it takes them to heal. I too asked about Clichy earlier because the information on his injury at the close of the season was nonexistent from Arsenal. Outside sources said his season was over because of a back injury the nature of which has never been disclosed.

    DeRossi looked good the times I’ve watched Roma or the Italian National team. He is not 30m good.

    Matuidi has to be a step up from what we’ve got but no one can convince that is the case.

    Quality FBs are going for 18m these days :O Just ask Liverpool. You want quality then you have to pay according to Benitez and he should know.

  4. If you have Comcast, see you if you a Latino package. I was able to pick up GoalTV by adding that to my cable package. It cost me $10 a month (plus $2 to add it) and I also get ESPN-D (where you can pick up some Spanish football).

    Kind of funny that I pull the Viera/Matuidi thing out of my ass yesterday and I see it in the papers today. You think they are trolling your blog for news ideas? ;p

    Nice post as usual.

    1. @Alex, I believe they do. I’ve seen some of my rambling thoughts appear almost verbatim in the media. In particular my Serie A is an Italian burial ground comment. Speaking of which it does appear that without Kaka, there will be a memorial for AC Milan on the first day of Serie A.

      1. @ctpa, Let’s hope not. I completely pulled that out of my ass and even said so yesterday.

        Milan did not look good in ANY of the preseason matches that I have seen so far. Unless they find a replacement for Kaka, they are in for a very long year. Ronaldino isn’t going to cut it. I think his best years are behind him.

  5. I couldn’t stand the guy but RIP Sir Bobby Robson. Cant wait for tomorrows game hopefully it’ll be on at Doyle’s

  7. Hey any gooners that read this blog from Dallas TX? Just moved down here and don’t know if there is a pub fans watch at. i used to go to Lucky Bar when in DC and they had a ton of Arsenal fans.

  8. Damn, I wont be watching the game ’cause I’ll be showing my inmense technique and pace at Right Mid on a local tournament. LOL.

  9. Tony Cascarino is a fucking cunt. “The team is not worthy of the stadium”…give me a break. I don’t care if the guy is 70 years old, I’d knock his lights out in a heartbeat just to shut him up.

    1. @615Gooner, Think Cascarino is a diminutive of Cascara a component of laxatives, from which you get a big shit, therefore the dimunitive must mean little shit, nuff said.

      Viva!

    2. @615Gooner, He’s a former Chelsea, Villa, and Milwall player, he’s the last person who has Arsenal’s best interest at heart in his columns. He named one of his sons after one of the greatest cunts of all time Teddy Sheringham, for fuck’s sake.

      In fact, the only reason to read his columns is to find out exactly what NOT to do. If Tony says we should buy, then we should stand pat, if he says we were wrong to sell, we were 100% right to sell.

      Etc.

      He’s a fraud, a clickmonger, and a whore who has hated Arsenal all his life, fuck him.

  10. We don’t need to worry about stupid comments by a no nothing wanna be pundit.

    I just hope Wenger takes the oppertunity to play both Francis Coquelin and Nacer Barazite at some stage during the Emirates cup, these guys are the future not some over priced, over hyped guy from france

  12. Jazbo, you’re right, it just infuriates me when people say such ignorant things.

    And Barazite should get some PT during the cup- the fact that he’s not going out on the loan makes me think he’ll be a squad player in some capacity and maybe partner with Jay Simpson in the Carling Cup.

  13. “The line-up isn’t worthy of the stadium.”-Tony Cascarino
    That is utter bollocks.

    The quintessential anti-Arsenal pundit, on the bandwagon and contributing nothing original to the Arsenal dialog.

    http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://www.lequipe.fr/&ei=dhlzSrGHG4zCMNK1mbEM&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=1&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dl%2527equipe%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26hs%3DNtF

    Our ‘offer’ was laughable even if it were made in a stronger currency. I like that from Bordeaux. Why negoiate in L’equipe though? Apparently Bordeaux want a quick sale so as to replace Chamakh before the season starts. No problem there as Lyon’s Piquionne in on the market.

    Fiorentina say 6m and we want 9m for Eboue. Something closer to 8m should do it for us. This will pave the way for Ramsey to play.

    1. Ramsey does not play RB ctpa. Eboue is our only decent RB unless you want Hoyte or Djourou being put back there. We need to keep the lad, he is extremely versatile.

      Not a dime under 15M I say.

  14. RIP Bobby Robson.

    I’ve given it some thought and we’re actually really thin in terms of right backs – it’s only Sagna and Eboue. If we sold Eboue, Wenger would have to buy or use Gavin Hoyte – not sure how comfortable I am with that.

    Long weekend in Canada and lots of football to watch – paradiso

  15. Eboue’s certainly valuable and I actually like him despite his propensity to dive. And based on the transfer inactivity to date, it’s not as if we need the money to make a splash for someone of notoriety. If Arsene gives Eboue away for a pittance, to me that says he wants/needs to get Wilshere much more consistent minutes. He’s young, but he’s precocious. As for spelling Sagna, Kerrea Gilbert could also be lumped in there.

    2. I would prefer Gilbert to any of the other alternatives. Not great going forward but is a brute at the back and takes no prisoners.

    1. There’s gotta be another player out there who shares the very common name, Obafemi, in which Arsenal could be interested.

  17. Definitely dont want to lose Eboue. JFC how many defenders can we afford to sell?!? I heard a rumor that KJHunt. wants to join the Arsenal. This whole Chamakh story may also be AW’s ploy to have KJH plead with Madrid to bring down his asking price. Cant wait to see how this will all play out.

    Does anybody know how I can catch the Emirates cup from the US? Gracias!

  19. Right now Sp**s are foaming at the mouth to get Huntelaar. 2 problems for them are they need to move Darren(ICMTH)Bent and Huntelaar’s salary (90k/wk?. DB just had to issue an apology after cursing out Daniel Levy on Tweeter about his transfer delay. He wants to go to Sunderland and Sp**rs think they should be paid all that stupid money (16.5m) they paid to Charlton (remember them). Dave Whelan is telling Sp**s: when pigs fly. Stoke and Hull (which striker on the face of the earth haven’t they tried to buy) are scaring the hell out of Bent.

        1. @ctpa, That’s after tax, to earn that in the UK he would have to earn £110,000 pounds, someone’s gotta pay for our health service!

  21. I have Comcast and both GOL and Telemundo are part of the sports package without having to go for the Spanish Channel package which is much more expensive.

    If they say otherwise you can easily negotiate with them.

    REPEAT: You don’t have to get the Spanish Channel package to get GOL on Comcast.

    BTW. Comcast is now offering free ESPN360 with their high speed internet.

    1. @CaribKid69, Verizon high speed internet also offers ESPN360; picture quality is excellent, plus they save their broadcasts & you can re-watch or watch later.

  22. So there’s small stories going around about Wenger’s scouting team checking out Servet Cetin. I remember him frm the Euros and I was actually impressed that a man the size of a house could move as fast as he could and he made some serious tackles for Turkey. I admit though he looks like a serial killer and I’m scared.

    2. @WC, In that case, sign me up in his corner. We need to have the same effect on our opposition.

  24. Tim, been following your blogs for the past one year (first on wordpress and now here). Finally created a login for myself today. Let me first congratulate you on your blog. I make it a point to read yours and arseblogger’s blog everyday.
    The first time I came across your blog I was surprised to see an American writing about football (and actually making sense)!!
    Unfortunately since I live on the East coast I have to wait until noon to get my daily dose of 7amkickoff.
    Was in Nashville until last month, moved down to Athens GA now.
    Any gunners in the area?!?
    Cheers.

  25. That is a funny YouTube video on Cetin. Wow, what a monster (I mean that in a good way). He doesn’t just defend players, he f**kin’ mauls players. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Does he have pace, skill, passing ability, who cares if he rips the hearts out of attacking players. A ‘shutdown’ defender.

    The Star is reporting that Everton will succumb to a 20m bid for Lescott. They will then turn to Senderos for 6m. If Senderos doesn’t play this weekend then that will be a clue.

  27. Rosicky and Clichy to play this weekend. Gibbs and Walcott are out because they’ve only just return to training off of the U21 tournament.

    Diaby has a “knee problem” and should be ready for Valencia 8/8.

    Juventus looked good beating the Ronaldo -led Real Madrid. The pitch was horrendous though.

    1. @ctpa, For all the money they spent, Madrid have crap defense. If Amauri had a little better finishing on the day Juve coulda ran out at least 2-3 goal difference.

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