Man U could basically buy everything

The ink was barely dry on their one record breaking contract to snag Kaka when Real Madrid turned around and destroyed their own previous transfer record and purchased Christiano Ronaldo from Man U for £80m. No need to link to a specific article, it’s all over the news, hell, it made NPR this morning.

And of course it made NPR, it’s f*cking insane.

That said, the deal raises more questions than it answers…

What will Man U do with the money? If they spend it, it inflates the market, if they don’t spend some they’d be fools. How does this all play out? Will they go for Ribery? Cause a 4 way fight for him, between Chelsea, Real, and the other Manchester?

How does Kaka feel? Like second runner up in the Miss Football pageant I imagine.

How long before Ribery joins them and for how much?

Where does Real Madrid get the money for this and will Sepp Bleater and Michelle Platini decry them for their financial doping?

What will Man U supporters do with their CR7 shirts? I recommend a bonfire.

There is one thing I know will happen: the English can go back to hating Christiano Ronaldo. There were at least 5 or 6 guys out there who were conflicted about Cron, just a few men who had yet to completely genuflect at the altar of the steppy-overy cheating diver. They were genuinely conflicted. Here was a guy who had raped their beloved England team, a man who disgraced English football pretty much every time he set foot on the pitch, but a man who scored goals and won medals for Man U. WHAT TO DO???

Well, most of them would privitely confide their dislike of the player or say things like “yeah I wish he wouldn’t do that.” But when he was up on the dias, cheekily biting the gold medal, all oiled and muscles rippling, they were there clapping along with all the other mindless Man U supporters.

And now that he’s gone, I am fully prepared for the deluge of Man U supporters who “never really liked him” drowning out the 5 or 6 genuine football fans who knew something was wrong all along. They will be there, at your local boozer, filling your ear with nonsense about how much they hated his cheating. Or how this is good riddance, because he was a cancer on the team. Or how he’s just a mercenary. Or my favorite, “he was overrated.”

No, asshole, that’s what WE say. YOU say “thank you Christiano Ronaldo, please may I have another?” Because we’ve been saying he was a mercenary, tart, diving, cheating, steppy-overy, take 20 free kicks to score one goal, overrated, chump, asshole, cunt, for 8 years and your sudden conversion stinks like rejection. Like a teenager rebuffed. It’s unrequited love.

Now, go crawl up inside your CR7 jersey, spread out all your signed pictures  of him on the bed and wallow in it. Have a good cry, because tomorrow you get to pretend to be a real football fan again, until the next steppy-overy, overrated, diving, cheating, seal dribbler comes along.

Poop Scoop

Ok, so we basically got nothing. There’s a report that Arsenal are after 16 year old Luc Castaignos, with his agent publicly saying that he only has eyes for Arsenal, but only if he stays at Feyenoord for another year. Yeah, Ok, another kid! At first I thought “isn’t 16 a little old?” and then I saw the picture in this link and I’m starting to think there might be something to this story.

I have some sad news to report, it’s looking like The Hoff is ending his long and glorious Arsenal career. A testimonial is the least we could do for him.


Ha! Tired old xenophobe and known Arsenal hater, Sepp Blatter has been told to shut the f*ck up by tired old xenophobe and known Arsenal hater Michelle Platini. See, as it turns out their collective idea to trot out some tired old xenophobic nationalism under the guise of a “6+5 rule” which would give England a world cup,  is a violation of European law.

Which I have said all along.

So, we can put this one to bed.


  1. I know you dislike him but you cannot deny how good he is.

    He doesn’t always play as a centre forward yet his goal scoring and assists columns are ridiculously high. This year was not as good as last year, yet he spent a number of weeks injured and still managed 26 goals.

    While he did dive and complain, anyone who is that good is bound to be a bit arrogant and have an ego. In my opinion, the diving had considerably dropped in its occurence over the last year, but maybe that coincided with a drop in goals.

    The guy is classy, classy player. Man U would not have won nearly as many trophies had they not had Ronaldo. Man U will not win anything next year, Berbatov and Rooney cannot carry the team, even if Benzema and Ribery sign.

    Unfortunately, for English football, the Spanish league now may become dominant. Kaka, Messie and Ronaldo are the 3 best players in the world are all in one league. Besides, Real and Barca you have quality teams like Sevilla, Valencia(maybe not anymore), Villareal, Atletico and Deportivo – all of which have made some impact in Europe.

  2. Its awful business. Fergie should have snapped up a replacement before letting this go public, now every single United target is going to be double the price with their clubs knowing United have 80m. School boy error.

    At the end of the day no player makes an entire team. Good riddance, he can take his greasy face and his diving to La Liga.

  3. Well all Man Utd games will now end 3 minutes earlier because there’s no more CRonaldo to roll on the ground and complain to add injury time. I think Man Utd will go to the bank and ask for the 80M all in dollar bills, they will fill a pool with it and start to swim in the green. He’s no doubt a great player but his attitude overshadows his achievements and it’s good riddance if you ask me. I disagree that Man Utd will not win anything. Many great players have left that club but they continue to roll on. Fergie isn’t a fool and you don’t go 20 years or so in management and not know how to adapt.

    On the upside they can pay off some of that debt they have.

  4. tim i can’t actually give you one because i read on the arabian arsenal website and they didn’t mention the source and WC you are correct and that is the problem with vermaelen now hope ivan can work his magic

  5. I will definitely miss watching Ronaldo perform his magic in the EPL for Manure. Although I disliked his arrogance, floppability and somewhat churlish behavior, I ultimately realize he is probably the most complete player football has ever seen and at the end of his career will be ranked in the top 5 of all times.

    He lacks for nothing in terms of football skills. Excellent in the air, fast, quick, great 1 on 1 skills, flawless ball control, shoots and scores with either foot, great dead ball kicker, and a goal scorer par none from the wing position. Without a Ronaldo, it would have been hard put for Manure to have gotten the titles they did the past 2 years.

    Not a very easy player to replace, Manure will have to shore up their team even more, with Giggs, Neville and Scholes on their last legs, Tevez looking like he is leaving and an under performing Nani. Ronaldo’s move to Real Madrid will surely be rejoiced for many months at Chel$ki and Pool and the surrounding pubs will echo with resounding cheers.

    Where does Real Madrid get the money from? Their President is a Billionaire and they get enormous funds and tax concessions from Local and Provincial government. In other words, they are heavily subsidized and therefore will never be broke unless the world economy crashes.

  6. The death knell tolls for smaller and/or less wealthy clubs as all this new “funny money” will surely inflate transfer prices this summer. City has already shown the capacity to outbid others regardless of cost, Real Madrid seems to have robbed the Spanish coffers, and both Manure and Milan now now have cash to splash.

    Arsene’s and Arsenal’s propensity to not spend big on established players, preferring instead to splurge unearthly sums on teenagers, will probably mean we will have to scrape the leftovers from the big boys. This rash of cash will also have both Agents’ and Clubs’ shopping players to the big boys and slowing down negotiations currently under way.

    Oh well, it should be a long, hot summer.

  7. I’m almost sure United aren’t going to be champions next season , no matter who they get ( If I were Ribery I wouldn’t go to Manutd , instead I would go to Arsenal ) . Anyway , maybe this is our chance , if we don’t get too many injuries and to team will play as in the 07/08 season we might just win it .

    I have to agree to most of you , the Premier League domination is coming to a close .

  8. Something not being considered much in the blogosphere. When Perez took over he promised to sign Ronaldo and Kaka. And Fabregas. He’s accomplished the first two. If Real were to come in with £40, £50 million, can we turn it down? Can we afford to say no to that kind of money?

  9. When I woke up and read this the first thing that was on my mind was how much are we going to ask for Ribery. Personally, and I am not the only Bayern fan, would like Ribery to stay, at least for 1 more year. But now that the price tag of 93 million euros it in the press, Im sure the 3 stooges (Karl, Uli und Franz) will be asking definitely more than 50 mil that is if Real doesnt offer more.
    I, like Tim, have a hatred for Ronaldo. In my opinion he is one of the best players in the world today…. skill-wise. Mentally, he is a complete fucktard and wouldnt want him in my club… especially for a price tag like that.
    One of my favorite Ronaldo videos is this:

    This is what happens when you fake a dive against ze Germans! Well, this is what happens when Ronaldo fakes a dive against my boys! I think all clubs playing against Ronald should do this. Perhaps this would stop his diving. It couldnt hurt… well for him it will!

  10. This is time for madness in the transfer season, people will overtalk on some players and nothing will happen to them; this is adverting; it makes the transfer season very interesting; keep on reading on these unbeliveable stories.

  11. players like ribery can play much better in a single match but season before last he scored more than even henry could manage in any season
    I dislike the guy, but u cant believe man u would have won the league twice or done so well in the ECl these past 2 seasons without him
    The only players who can be better over a season are messi and maybe eto’o, but man utd cant buy them…
    I dont see what they can do now. Theyl still be a good team but ronaldo won them the league, his goals beat so many of the lesser teams in matches that looked to be heading for a draw
    The league is up for grabs now, liverpool are the team to beat imo

  12. CaribKid, to reply to what you said yesterday:

    Gilbert – yes, I’d forgotten about him and agree he looked really promising once. Trouble is, he’s been gone a long time, and I suspect he’ll be staying at Leicester where, for once, he’s had a good loan spell. Leicester fans love him but say he’s probably not Arsenal quality. Maybe this is wishful thinking on their part – they want to keep him – but it makes sense to me, Leicester being a long way down from the Premiership. Given his age – 23, 24? – and the years he wasted on loan at ever-lowlier places where he’d fall out with the manager and not get any games, I don’t see him being part of Wenger’s plans anymore. Maybe we’ll get something for him, though – a million, perhaps?

    Can’t work up any interest in Ronaldo.

  13. Is it just me or are Manure now screwed, I seem to remember them having a tough relatively time of it early in the season when Ronaldo was out injured.

    No matter what you think of his diving, it did make him more dangerous it was likely and common for players marking him to get yellows early on and that basically made it easier for him pass them as they knew how easy he goes down. I will miss him playing in the EPL, love him or hate him he was never a boring player to watch.

    Off topic here but good for a couple of giggles, I found this, a prank some Arsenal fans played on Roy Keane, they got him to sign a couple of blank pages and they then turned the pages over to show him what was on the other side, they were pictures of Almunia saving his penalty LOL, heres the link to the videos, if you want to laugh even harder read the comments section, a lot of butthurt spurs fans air their grievances at such a shameful display of trickery 😉

  14. Dumbarses Platini and Splatter, what a pair of mental makeweights! I mentioned this a while back. What they suggest is in direct contravention of articles 18 & 39 of the Treaty of Rome, the foundation of the European Union. Did they think they were goung to overturn employment law in all the countries of the Union, just for their sake?

    unReal MadriD are gonna have to sell, there’s not enough space in their dressing room for all those egos. 80 mil for Ronaldo (el Horizonte) , crazy, no great close ball control, one or two spectacular free kicks, a lot of tantrums, and turf kissing, who intimidates opponents by threatening to fall over if they get too close. Eboue had his number, so did Gibbs for that matter.

    Ribery two seasons ago would have been a buy, not now.


  15. I don’t think Man United are screwed. Yes, they may suffer a bit, but not for more than a season. They’ve got some ageing players to replace, so as I see it, a sackful of cash is just what they need at this time to rebuild. Sure, Ronaldo got them 30 goals a season, but there are other fish in the sea, and regretably they can outbid us for all of them. I just don’t see the loss of one gifted winger (who did nothing defensively and who pushed Rooney out of his best position into the bargain) sending them into free fall for that long. Probably they’ll buy Benzema this window.

  16. Let us all stand up and applaud ‘Anonymous’. Come on, everybody, out of your seats. All of you. Right now. Stand up and clap your hands. For that is the single most erudite, perceptive and thoughtful piece of commentary I have ever seen…

    *speaks to mother*

    …er, apparently I am wrong. The single most erudite, perceptive and thoughtful piece of commentary ever was her analysis of the lemon cheesecake at Whitby Abbey Visitor Centre in 1997. My mistake. Turns out ‘Anonymous’ is just an idiot. Carry on.

  17. The wife told me TMZ aired a spot on Ronaldo being sexually engulfed by Paris Hilton after converting her to a football fan at a night club.

    Paris must have heard about the new contract and Ronaldo did always like them a bit risque.

    Hope the lifestyle get the better of the playboy, unlike Kaka and Messi.

  18. Tim, you sound a bit bitter about Ronaldo’s departure. I for one am saddened. We want to play against the best players in the world, and Ronaldo was one fo the best. Who else is Song and Denilson and Diaby going to measure themselves to now? Now that they don’t have the figure of Ronaldo as an omnipresent symbol of what they can acheive, they’re going to slide into a pit of mediocrity, and never bcoeme the al-singing, all-dancign crap fo the world they were destineed to be.

  19. We’ve seen Man U replace too many greats to doubt Sir Alex’s judgment. The Gunners need to take care of our own needs and, above all, hope that we can get through a campaign without losing half the starting eleven to injuries. The talent to win a title is clearly there, we show it in spurts against both good and mediocre teams. It’s consistency and health which are missing, although I definitely think another defender, forward, and maybe goalie would help.

  20. Totaly agree. Everytime they have sold a so called irreplaceable player they come back stronger. Still,fingers crossed on wednesday 4 arsenal man u at the emirates on first day of season…

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