I hate Chelsea and I’ve hated Chelsea as long as I can remember.
I know that Gooners are supposed to hate Tottenham and I do get this sort of visceral reaction to Tottenham when we have to play them but with Chelsea it’s a pretty active hatred. I know it’s strange but it’s simply a function of when I came in to the game. When I first started watching, Arsenal were top of the world and Chelsea were in their place: a scrappy little club that never won anything.
One day, some filthy billionaire scumbag decided that he wanted to create a live-action video game team full of the most hideous cunts and superstars. Money was no object, Roman simply parked his T-84 in South London and started firing stacks of £50 notes into the waiting arms of anyone who would take them.
That Chelsea cash unsettled the premiership in a way that will ripple out for decades. But while he was spending freely it was insanely frustrating to be a Gooner. Any time Arsenal were linked to a player (Drogba, Essien, Shawn Wright-Phillips, etc) Chelsea came in with a bid of 10 times what Arsenal bid, then they offered the player a contract that no team living within their means could ever offer and, of course, the player was off to Chelsea.
When that didn’t work, when they couldn’t prise the player away from the team legally, they’d fucking tap them up: illegally unsettling Arsenal players by offering them huge contracts.
I tried to get over it. After all, that won’t last forever, Roman’s money is running out, Chelsea are in debt to their owner to the tune of nearly a billion dollars AND they have won exactly the same number of trophies that Arsenal have won over the last two years: 0.
But I still can’t get over some things. Like the Carling Cup final.
The Carling Cup final was supposed to be the moment that Arsenal’s youth policy trumped Chelsea’s buy everything policy. Theo Walcott scored his first ever Arsenal goal
And Abou Diaby nearly took John Terry’s head clean off
It should have been a perfect game, a perfect day, the perfect end to those youngster’s cup run. But Chelsea knew a trick or two, they knew that if there was any argy-bargy that Arsenal’s youth would play against them, and Chelsea’s English-ness would count in their favor. So, they send Obi wan Mikel in to kick up the midfield and when he kicked Toure one too many times, Toure lost his mind and kicked back. In the ensuing imbroglio Howard Webb sent off two Arsenal players (Adebayor! His favorite Arsenal player to send off) and one Chelsea player.
It shouldn’t have ended like that, but that’s Chelsea and that’s why I hate them. And that’s why tomorrow might not be a revenge mission for Cesc Fabregas but it will feel like revenge if we beat them, for me.
Because of all the teams in the Premier League, I love beating Chelsea. I love beating them and forcing their soulless owner to go out and pay £50m for David Villa so that he can keep his fantasy football team going.
Come on you GUNNERS!