Newcastle v. Arsenal; liveblogging the best day ever?

Rooney! You're an *sshole.

Good morning and welcome to what could possibly be the best day ever. First, Chelsea are getting beaten 1-0 by Tottenham and second, and much more importantly, Man Unit had their asses handed to them 2-0 by Fulham. PLUS! Wayne Looney got sent off for something, which is a miracle, and I’m praying to the Gods that it’s for dissent.

I can’t wait to read the match report.

Lest you think that I’m purely negative, I’m also happy that Pompey got a win.

Now, if Arsenal gets a 6-0 win it will be a great day!  Back in a few minutes with the lineup.

Diaby and Denilson start in the middle and Arshavin and van Persie start up front. That means a 4-4-2 and Denilson/Diaby need a huge game: knock on wood!

Almunia

Sagna    Toure    Gallas    Clichy

Bendtner    Diaby    Denilson    Nasri

Arshavin

van Persie

Just a few seconds now ’till kickoff and news reports are indicating that Looney was sent off for dissent.

What’s Newcastle’s mascot? Is it supposed to be a magpie? Because it looks like a skunk. Oh, I bet I know what’s happening with Google Reader and my feed. It’s George W. Bush’s whacky time change! I just noticed that WordPress thinks it’s 9:33 am when here in America it’s 10:33 am, by King George’s decree! So, expect your feeds will be all f*cked up for the next few weeks, until time gets sorted.

Kickoff…

4′ — nothing happening, except Bendtner is doing his best Adebayor impersonation by getting caught offside a couple of times already.

6′ — Newcastle gets a corner when one of their players shoves Toure down from behind. Then Almunia does nothing in the box despite the ball coming in to the 6 yard box. Why have a keeper if he’s just going to stand there and watch?

9′ — Galas whiffs a wide open header. Damn.

13′ — Steven Taylor intentionally stands on Arshavin’s foot and kicks him in the back of the leg. No foul called. That’s the kind of cheap shiat that I hate, I hope Steven Taylor suffers a career ending injury at the hands of one of his teammates.

18′ — Duff with a terrible dive. Come on ref, get out the cards.

23′ FUCK YOU CUNTS

25′ — How the hell did the ref give Newcuntsle a penalty? Can someone please enlighten me as to how that was a foul much less a penalty? Arshavin with a great little move and shot, luckily saved by Steven Cunt.

30′ — Steven Cunt looks up sees Arshavin going for the ball and elbows him intentionally in the face. That should have been a straight red. At least the ref saw a foul this time.

35′ — Arshavin dribbles through a barrage of Steven Cunt “tackles” and shirt pulling to rifle in a tremendous shot. That’s one way to answer them, get a good goal. Damien Cunt with a foul on Sagna.

40′ — Arsenal need to tighten up in defense, Newcastle, a team that is a quivering wreck of a team, is picking out angles and passes and looking like they are going to score. I mean, we’re letting Damien Duff overrun us.

44′ — Lucky save by Harper van Persie with a great run and shot — and as I’m typing that he makes another HUGE save. Come on you REDS!

Damn. Tough first half. Arsenal look out of sorts, they look like they are passing to ghosts right now. Maybe Arsene will get out the half-time hair dryer?

WOW… I just saw why Looney got sent off. He threw the ball at the ref from like 50 yards away, then screamed and threw a tantrum as he walked to the shower. 10 match ban?

52′ — Sorry bout that, had to hold my daughter for a minute. Gallas earns the first yellow of the match. Well, in Cappy.

56′ — yes, Los, Diaby is having a poor game. The whole team’s having a poor game.

59′ — Oh for fuck’s sake… After Bendtner puts in a brilliant header, the defense falls asleep and Obafemi Cunt puts in an easy goal. 1-1 and I’m back to anger.

62′ — Steven Cunt is limping off! PLEASE IF THERE ARE GODS MAKE IT CAREER ENDING!

64′ — YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Diaby follows Bendtner in the “just do one thing right” category and scores a superb goal through some good interplay between he and van Persie.

67′ — YEEEEESSSSSSSSS! van Persie plays another great ball in, this time to Nasri who gets his first goal since January.

69′ — Who wants to put money on Denilson getting a goal?

71′ — Harper has van Persie’s number as he makes another good save off the Arsenal forward.

75′ — Song comes on for Arshavin who’s now been properly introduced to English Football.

83′ — Arsenal have killed this game off and maybe even killed off Newcastle’s hopes of staying above the drop. I used to have respect for this team, that’s lost now that they’ve put out a team of straight thugs.

87′ — Two Goal Eboue is coming on, I wonder what dance he has in store for us today?

92′ — The Newcastle announcer has given man of the match to Steven Taylor. OK, I now officially am hoping this club gets relegated.

Whelp, the right team won and that’s all that matters. Thanks for tuning in today and come back tomorrow for The Good, Bad, and Ugly.

13 Comments on Newcastle v. Arsenal; liveblogging the best day ever?

  1. If you want to know where our problems are pay attention to Diaby’s game. Specially when he gets the ball 3/4 up the pitch.

  2. Thanks for the liveblog. Steven Taylor is disgusting.. he constantly has a revolting look on his face and always seems like he’s looking for the next way to be a pain the ass. Glad to see Bendtner score, although I wish RvP would have found the net too.

    Were you surprised that Song didn’t start?

    March has been an A+++ month!

  3. Hey Tim,

    Great result for the gunners. Wasn’t the most inspiring of first halfs but at least we still created some cracking chances. Great second half and we can really go forward from here.

    Just btw, I think Taylor won their ‘local’ man of the match award which is particular to the home team. For me, the main man of the match probably should go to Diaby, if only for the fact he put us 2-1 up again and relieved the pressure after conceding against the barcodes.

  4. I think supporting this team is going to give me a heart attack one day. The amount of screaming and throwing things at the wall I did for the opening 45 cannot be good for my blood pressure.

    While Newcastle had equal chances in the opening half, we had better ones that we could not put away. Falling asleep 49 seconds after we score was piss poor. The win was good and a 3-1 scoreline flatters Newcastle as it should have been 6-1 with the chances we had and didn’t put away.

    How Newcastle escaped without cards or even 11 men on the field is beyond me – Mike Halsey is a tit, but then again I don’t think any English referees have been of any quality in the last decade or so. When Graham Poll and Steve Bennett are apparently the best you’ve had for a while then that surely says something about how terrible the FA is at running anything right.

  5. Exhilirating second half, good win but we still don’t look a very efficient side(think cesc and flam). Diaby has always preferred the creative aspects and scoring, pairing him with denilson, cesc or nasri in cm probably isn’t going to work very well long term, it just causes too much confusion and slop, short passes, slow. Sad to see what newcastle has become, they could be in real trouble.

  6. @wc, too right, i’m almost of the mind the league is better off without referees, shocking stuff but all too familiar.

  7. A Reds-Villains tie tomorrow will be a beautiful thing.

    St. Totteringham’s Day is fast approaching! Get your shopping done, gentlemen.

  8. Steve Taylor deserve the injury he had. He manhandled Clichy twice and threw a MMA style elbow on our £15M new boy. He’s probably jealous he is not as good as Andrei.

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