Next week, a signing, I pinky promise — Arsene

First a bit of housekeeping; I’m not going to be giving as many “match reports” this season, because, well, frankly?  You’ve already read a bunch by the time you get here and unless I have something interesting to say, I’m not going to trudge out a match report just to fill space.  Last year I tried out “the good, the bad, and the ugly” as a form of brief match reporting and I think I’ll keep with that format this year.  Another thing I’m not doing is giving a match report when I haven’t actually seen a match.  What’s the point?

I feel dirty reading someone else’s report (who could have gotten the report off someone else, ad nauseum, until we find out that all match reports are actually written by some Australian bloke named “Mitch”) and then regurgitating that report here.

So, no match report today.  Even though I was needlessly wringing my hands over it yesterday, the boys won 2-0 with Gallas and Adebayor getting goals and Walcott the assist.  Good for them.

That left me sitting here today wondering what I was going to write about when out of the blue Arsene provided.  Ask and ye shall receive, eh?

After the match, the boss said that the club is “certainly” signing someone before the replay against FC Twente in a fortnight.  Now, I know that just yesterday I went on record saying that I had serious doubts that the team would buy someone and so, on the surface Wenger seems to be thumbing his nose at all us naysayers.  But this is the same Arsene Wenger who said that two signings were only a week away — back in May.  This is the same Wenger who claimed that Arsenal were signing a Premier League player to boot.  That the signings would be “big players” on and on.  Sure, if you parse out those statements, you will find everything he said to be 100% accurate.  He’s the master of the qualifying statement.  Which is why his latest quote should be taken with a grain of salt.

Will something be done ahead of the second leg? Certainly yes, but before Saturday, no.

“Something” will be done, certainly!  “Oh, you thought that meant a signing?  I meant the transfer of Justin Hoyte would be done, that’s “something” isn’t it?”

I’m not 100% cynical, I’d bet that the boss has a transfer target in mind, but given all the qualified statements I’ve seen this summer you’ll just have to pardon me if I’m a little reserved about the likelihood of the deal getting done.

And who will this transfer in be?  All the news reports think it’s Inler, so I bet it’s some 17 year old who’s been playing sand-lot football for the past 7 years.  We know who it won’t be: it won’t be Alonso because he’s cup-tied having played for Liverpool in their lucky 0-0 draw yesterday.  It also won’t be Veloso because Sporting are on record saying they want the princely sum of £24m and Wenger isn’t paying £24m for anything or anyone.  No, it’ll probably be someone like Danny Haynes.  Sure, he’s a striker and that is absolutely NOT a position that Arsenal need but he’s rated at £3m, Hoyte went out for £3m, eh?  EH?

Feel free to speculate in the comments below, you all know more than the reporters who are linking Haynes to the club.

All right, see you lot tomorrow.  (Patiently waiting for a signing)