Adebayor is staying

As I predicted, Emmanuel Adebayor is staying with Arsenal and within days will sign a contract extension.

What I couldn’t predict is that Adebayor is completely insane, a pathological liar, or king of the retards (or all three) because reading the interview he gave to Arsenal TV is like a trip into the twilight zone.

Obviously, the big question for everyone is “why were you such a putz about demanding more money or a transfer to Barcelona?” Comically, Adebayor response is that when he went on vacation he didn’t read the papers or pick up a phone or use the internet so he really didn’t know what was going on or what people were saying about him and so it’s all a bunch of lies that he said he wanted to leave.

No, seriously, that’s what he said. Here, read for yourself:

When I was on holiday I never went on to the internet I never read the newspapers so to be honest I was with my family so my phone was off so I didn’t know what was happening. When I came back I realised what was happening but you know the thing has happened already so now the most important thing is behind me and I’ll show everyone this club has given me a lot of things It gave me a chance to be who I am today so I have to thank them and I think the boss understands that as well, so now we are in the same boat, now we have to work hard together as a family and to deliver better than what we did last season.

Of course, even the guy on Arsenal TV doesn’t buy that excuse, because besides being completely implausible, it is patently false: he have an interview to El Mundo Deportiva in May and another to News of the World in June. You remember the latter, where he claimed to deserve the same pay as Thierry Henry. Yeah.

So the interviewer presses him and, amazingly, he holds the line.

Like I told you I was on holiday and you can imagine a lot of people would be imagining things and saying such things because I was in Togo Africa but I can tell you surely I never told anyone that I would be leaving this club. Never ever.

At this point, I’m seriously questioning my own sanity. Did I imagine the two interviews? Am I imagining this blog? Because if this is all just a figment I’d rather think that I would dream up something a whole lot more successful. No wait, then he slips: the interviewer asks him if he feels like he needs to win over the fans who imagined stuff and he slips…

I think the most important thing is today, because what you read in the newspaper anyone can put what they want in the newspaper. You can do it, somebody else can do it. Today I’m talking on the TV, when else have I talked on TV. My first interview was in Austria in June just before the Euro final and I have never said I would be leaving Arsenal so what people read in the newspaper is not coming from me. When you haven’t done anything wrong in your heart you feel free. All I have to do is play my football and I know the fans always love me so there’s no reason to not love me anymore because I’m still here

AH HA! I didn’t imagine it, that’s a relief, he did give an interview in June to News of the World, in which he demanded retarded money or he would leave the club.

Barcelona have made a good financial offer and there is also the chance to play alongside great players. Yes, I am still under contract to Arsenal but it’s up to the directors to satisfy my demands or I’ll leave.

No retractions of that above quote were ever made, he hasn’t opened a lawsuit against NotW, he didn’t fire his manager for making false statements on his behalf. Nope. Instead, he literally went on TV today , looked us all in the face, and said “I never said that.”

Honestly? His bald-faced denial puts a sort of Bushwellian spin to this whole saga. Maybe that’s what Bush has contributed to the world: the ability to stand up in front of TV cameras and just straight out lie. I mean, I don’t know.

But the worst part of this is that he’s trying to re-build bridges with this interview, Wenger too with the follow up, but given the content of this interview, I seriously don’t see this working. He could have made it work if he’d have just said “I pledge my future to Arsenal” and left it at that. But to make up some lame story about being out of the loop and then lie about how you never gave an interview is not the way to get the Arsenal supporters behind you.

*sigh*

But now we all have to get behind him, right? Because he’s going to be on the pitch, he is a talented player, and the club do need him to score goals, right? So, Arsenal fans are going to shed their histrionic nature and join hands in welcoming Adebayor back into the fold, right?

RIGHT???

What am I saying? You’ll all be booing him as soon as he gets his first offside or misses his first open chance. Which is going to drive me crazy; because, how on Earth can I defend a man who is so retarded?

6 Comments on Adebayor is staying

  1. First of all, I would like to thank you for your interesting blogs which I do read on a regular basis.

    You are one of the few writers who put an interesting spin on topics without being overboard and you also seem to have an excellent feel for the written language.

    In one of your earlier blogs you mentioned not being able to watch the Stuttgart game and since I enjoyed watching the game in Atlanta, where I reside, on my 21″ PC monitor, thought I would share a tip with you. Just Google “Justin.tv” and it will lead you to a site where you can watch just about any sporting event in the world, free of cost, on live streams.

    It takes some time to get a feel for negotiating through the channels for your specific choice but is well worth it. Streams can be jerky at times, and full screen is not of the highest quality, but in a pinch it will do.

    Well that’s it for now and I look forward to reading your future articles.

  2. Dude, can you leave the politics out of the football blog? I like your blog and read it regularly, but to insult at least half your readers with the snide Bush comments is a bit offputting. Leaving aside the fact that I’m not a big Bush fan myself, to compare him to a big liar when his predecessor in the white house was the biggest liar who ever lived is a bit farcical. If you want to write a political blog, go ahead and I’ll ignore it. if you’re writing a football blog, keep it to football, kay?

  3. Dude, it’s his blog and he can write about whatever he wants. Don’t like it? Go somewhere else. No one’s putting a gun to your head…

    But, but, but…CLINTON!

  4. I rather enjoyed the “Bush” comments myself. Seems like I am in the 50% who wholeheartedly agree with these comments.

  5. I liked the Bush comment, but I guess that is because I agree and was just pleased to see others with the same mindset as me.

    The bloog is great, mate, and I’m a faithful reader!

  6. Thanks gang, I could tell the guy had never read the blog before because I make fun of Bush and use him as a comic foil all the time.

    But to the point of whether it’s apt to call him a liar: even ardent conservatives will admit that Bush lied about the intelligence leading up to the war, his knowledge of the illegal warrantless wiretaps, Valerie Plame, Abu Garaib, and “Mission Accomplished” just to name a few. On many occasions, Bush did just what I think Adebayor did the other day. He has stood before a group of people and flat out lied. It’s like if you catch your woman in bed with another man and the next day she tells you “it didn’t happen. what are you talking about? you must have been drunk.” It’s the kind of mind boggling lie that makes me question reality.

    Hell, if anything, I could be accused of hack comedy. EVERYONE uses ole George as an example of a “moron” or liar. But, someone who, erm, “b.b.b..but Clinton’s” someone else isn’t going to be too worried about hack comedy. Next time I’ll use OJ Simpson, no one’s done that before right?

    RIGHT???

Comments are closed.