The closer I get…

tipis
Ironically, the closer I get to England, geographically, the further away I am from Arsenal.

I had no internet last night as I slept in some crappy little cabin next to a tee-pee.  I’m not joking.  There were tee-pee’s.  Actually, the word is “tipi” (I guess) but typing “tipi” didn’t make any sense to my brain so I’m sticking to tee-pee.

Regardless of how you spell the word, there were these structures right next to the cabin we stayed in.  Is this supposed to be ironic?  Cabins and tee pees?  I couldn’t tell.  Dinner wasn’t much better: a couple of overcooked burgers for me and the lady and a plate of spaghetti noodles and canned vegetables for the 10 year old.  Again, I’m not kidding.  The “spaghetti” was noodles and some whole canned  tomatoes, some canned mushrooms, onions, and about 3/4 of a cup of celery.  It was like some kind of retarded country mirepoix.

Then we drove 300 miles and now we’re in a place called “Chico” which is actually pretty nice.  There’s some kind of gourmet chef on duty and the food is supposed to be fresh and local.  At the other joint they had Halibut on the menu.  Halibut.  In the MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY.  Even if I had a jones for a piece of Halibut I wouldn’t eat it from a scummy bar in Montana, where the closest airport is a day away.

Anyway, the place we’re at now reminds me a lot of London.  It’s kind of an older place, shared bathrooms, floor tilting all different directions, etc.  The only difference is that the walls are festooned with all manner of dead animals.  It’s like London Bed and Breakfast meets Teddy Roosevelt’s study.

There is a bar, right next to the hotspring, so maybe the Teddy Roosevelt part is actually Earnest Hemingway.  I’ll have to reserve judgement on that until I see if they have mojitos.

Oh yeah, Arsenal…

Uhhh.  Huh, they beat Barnet 2-1 yesterday.  YAY!  They are undefeated in the new year.

Hleb thinks Cesc “could follow him to Barca,” yes and Cesc could also follow me with a foot up Hleb’s ass.  Hleb needs to shut his mouth, Barcelona don’t need more people helping them prise away the world’s best players.

Yaya should shut his mouth too.

And speaking of transfers, the boss supposedly told everyone that he’s going to break the mold and bring in an “experienced” player or maybe it will be an old man on crutches or some decrepit old fogey.  We’re not really sure, but whomever it is it will supposed be someone with “experience” and who has more experience than your grandpa?

I’m still very reluctant to say that there will certainly be a signing.  If you’ve been around for a few years you know that this happens all the time.  Arsenal say “we’re going to buy AT LEAST one more guy, but hey don’t forget that van Persie, Eduardo, and Rosicky were all injured last year.  Getting them back is like 4 signings! (van Persie counts for 2).”  And as soon as the transfer window closes, they say “well we tried, we really did but Arsenal are a business and we’re refusing to pay over the odds, dissemble, dissemble, dissemble.”

So, you’ll pardon me if I have the “new signing parade” on hold.  My money is still on no new signings.

Maybe I’ll write a little tomorrow.  I don’t know, because I’ll be in Cody Wyoming and god know what they use for internet out there; two coconuts and a string?

3 Comments on The closer I get…

  1. I’m still very reluctant to say that there will certainly be a signing. If you’ve been around for a few years you know that this happens all the time. Arsenal say “we’re going to buy AT LEAST one more guy, but hey don’t forget that van Persie, Eduardo, and Rosicky were all injured last year. Getting them back is like 4 signings! (van Persie counts for 2).” And as soon as the transfer window closes, they say “well we tried, we really did but Arsenal are a business and we’re refusing to pay over the odds, dissemble, dissemble, dissemble.”

Comments are closed.