Fabregas likes new shirts

Arsenal’s new kit has been leaked to the press and Cesc admitted that he likes new shirts. Not just these shirts but all new shirts in general. He’s reportedly challenged Ronaldo to a footrace after trying on the new Arsenal kit saying “with this new shirt I’m at least 10% faster.”

As you can see from the picture above, Cesc and Ade are both in the new shirt which should settle once and for all any speculation that Adebayor is going to Inter for £78m. In fact, the latest rumor is that Arsenal are going to sell everyone, use the money to pay off the stadium debt and field a team of 11 Englishmen. It’s all true.

The last part about Englishmen would almost bring Arsenal into alignment with the Duke of Tottenham’s latest proposal to “English up” the FA cup. Lord Triesman’s not letting the cat out of the bag but I have it on good authority that the FA cup will try out a modified 6+5 scheme. In this plan teams will be allowed to field 2 Englishmen in every position and thus a team could, theoretically, have 22 people on the pitch at any one time; none of which can play a lick of football. It’s a bold proposal but in these trying times when the likes of Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole, Joe Cole, John Terry, and Rio Ferdinand can’t even beat powerhouses like Macedonia and Israel then something must be done to bring through more English talent.

Talent like Joey Barton, who is inexplicably rumored to be renegotiating his contract to half his pay. I don’t know what Newcastle are thinking. This man shows the kind of fire and heart that every team needs. So what if once every 2 to 3 weeks he gets into an altercation at a McDonald’s or stubs a cigar out in a teammate’s eye? Arsenal could certainly use a few guys like him, you know, to balance out their “continental” flavor.

But instead of good Englishmen like Shawn Wright-Philips and Joey Barton, Arsene is targeting Roque Santa Cruz… to replace Adebayor.

Finally, if you have anything left in your stomach you might want to read this article about Christiano Ronaldo. One of the many fascinating facts you’ll learn about Ronaldo is that he was named after Ronald Regan. Frankly, I didn’t make it past that first fact before I was onto my third vomit bag and had to stop reading.

Sadly, this is what passes for a news story in the off season.