It's all breaking apart?

“Hey, who wants to go for an ice cream?”

As you by now, no doubt, have read Alex Hleb’s agent has had his say and he wants Alex to move, preferably to Inter because they have the best ice cream in all of Europe.  You probably have also seen this story about Adebayor wanting £80,000/wk or “he’s leaving too.”

The ship is obviously falling apart folks.  What we need is someone to hold us together.  Someone who’s able to pay all these salary demands out of the kindness of his heart, someone who has a soul steeped in the history of Arsenal, someone who loves Arsenal and us supporters, someone who will hold us in the dark and scary nights ahead.

All that could be solved if the club were to accept the help of Russian billionaire Alisher Usmanov, but chairman Peter Hill-Wood and director Danny Fiszman say no.

YES!

OUT WITH PETER HILL WOOD!  OUT WITH DANNY FISZMAN!  WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT ARSENAL???

The “Adebayor £80,000” story is one of the worst stories I have ever seen written.  Who wrote that? Neil Ashton.  Neil, that “story” was worse than most blogs.  You got Adebayor, Usmanov, and Chelsea all jumbled up in there.  Thierry Henry even makes an appearance, for God’s sake!   Focus!  Focus Neil!  You can do it, you no talent ass-clown.

The Hleb stories are more widely spread and that’s because Hleb’s agent actually said something.  Something verifiable, something real:

He (Helb) is leaving Arsenal even though they want to offer him a new long-term contract and better conditions. Only time will tell if leaving is the right decision, but there’s no way back now. Everything will be cleared up in the next two weeks.

Wenger moved quickly to squash the rumors and remind everyone that regardless of whether the Agent wants the player to move, only Arsenal and the player can make that decision.

You cannot stop people talking but at the moment there is nothing (to discuss)

That’s it.  End of story.  Agents will talk, be prepared for it this summer, especially since the press seem to have seized upon the “Arsenal in Player Crisis” story line.  At any given moment this summer, every player at the club will be rumored to leave, from Cesc to Keiran Gibbs; no player will be left unscathed.  The British tabloids have a job to do and nothing sells papers quite like seeing a “top four club in crisis.”  Add in some stories about Usmanov’s summer takeover bid (which can’t happen but they’ll report on it anyway!!) and it should be a summer of utter shite from the press.

I recommend a summer of playing a lot of football, if you can.  My Achilles is almost healed and I should be out and about in June.

Now, back to Hleb for a second…  You don’t know this because I didn’t blog last year, but I hated Hleb last year.  I mean viscerally hated the man.  I tried to justify this hatred by counting the number of times he turned the ball over in one game.  I think he had something like 13 turnovers before I lost interest. Never mind that I’m not an official statistician, the point is I hated him.

Hleb did a good job of changing my mind about his abilities this season.  He’ is a hell of a dribbler, and a hell of a passer, especially in close quarters, and when he’s slotted in the center of the pitch, he’s a magician with the ball.  But isn’t that the problem?  Cesc plays in that spot and unless Hleb is scoring goals, he’s not a proper striker, so playing him behind Adebayor and ahead of Cesc is a bit of a waste isn’t it?

I think the player knows all this.  I think he is intent on playing in Cesc’s spot and, well, that’s just not going to happen.  Not in England.  Hleb’s too slight to play central midfield in England.  So, Wenger had to either put him on the wing (when is the last time you saw Hleb put in a proper wing cross?) or put him in that strange support striker role.  So, I can see that the player would be upset and wanting a move.

I’d like to see him stay.  He could make a great super-sub; you know, club’s down a goal and they need another attacking option, put Hleb on.  He’s not going to shoot, but he’s going to stretch and confound denfenses and sometimes that will lead to goals.

But do you see Hleb playing the part of “super-sub?”  Me either.  Enjoy the Gelatto, Hleb, I just hope Arsenal gets a decent transfer fee for him in return.

Kinda rushed, sorry about that, expect more good stuff tomorrow.  See you then.