I feel the pain here in my house

ugh… Doyle’s FC had our second practice yesterday and I don’t feel too good. First, we played on a frozen pitch. Which, while there were moments of comedy gold, was overall very un-fun. Second, I took two tumbles on the ice and now I’m in a lot of pain. The first tumble was just a straight professional foul and no real harm done except to make me wet and muddy and cold. The second came when I chased down an errant header from the other side’s defense and was fully off the ground and ready to lash the volley home when a third player came crashing in to me, his knee to the thigh, my other knee to the frozen ground. Holy crap this hurts. Any ideas on what I should do to make this better are gladly accepted. I already cleaned the sand out of my vagina and that’s not helping at all, so I’m looking for ideas other than ones that mention sand and my vagina — please.

In real football news, Arsenal have reportedly had their bid accepted for Johnathan Woodgate. Now just to be clear, Tottenham and Newcastle have admitted that they bid £8m for Woody and Middlesborough confirmed that there is a “third club” who also bid £8m. This third club is rumored to be Arsenal. So, from what I understand, based on the English press — which is notoriously accurate, all three bids are equal and Johnathan Woodgate is now deciding which team to go to.

There was a lot of chatter last season about Arsenal possibly bringing Woody in and I had my reservations then and I still have them now. I remember his first match back in the EPL after we were linked to him and how I thought he looked rather ordinary. Almost immediately after, I think he spent the next several months on the injured list. That pretty much sums up my reservations about Woody.

That said, I have to be fair to the cat. He could do a good job for Arsenal. It’s pretty clear that they need cover at center back (with Djourou and Toure both injured) and as long as he’s not expected to be the first choice he could do the job. But for £8m?

So, I wrote this whole thing and then Wenger comes out and refutes it explicitly. Awesome. I guess Wenger had reservations about Woody as well!

In actual team news ahead of Tuesday’s match, le boss says that Rosicky, Toure and van Persie should be back much sooner than previously thought. Great. See, Arsenal don’t need that piece of shit Johnathan Woodgate, let him go to Spuds! Also, Almunia and Sagna will be back in for tomorrow’s match.  That means that tomorrow should see a pretty full squad and 3 points in the bag, right?

Finally, we’ve got FA Cup news.  First, if you were wondering why Lehmann was playing yesterday, it’s because the boss has promised the FA Cup matches to him.  Which means he has at least one more match in an Arsenal uniform.  And that match will be at Old Trafford to take on Man U.   Good luck Jens!  Some part of me suspects Jens will revert to his bat-shit insane form under the glaring lights.  Red card?  hmmm.  no.  I’m going to say  that Ronaldo will go to take one of those stuttery, cunty, cheeky penalty kicks and Jens will just run out of the goal, tackle him American style, pins his arms, and try to drink his blood.  Should be fun to watch.

So, Arsenal won Man U, and meanwhile Liverpool and Chelsea take on Barnsley and Huddersfield.  yeap.  That’s about right, it’s never an easy road to the FA cup and Arsenal would probably have had to play Man U eventually.  Best to get it out of the way now.

That’s all I’m doing today.  My legs hurt and I have to go to work in the snow.  So, until tomorrow, keep kicking!